To think someone saying your hair is exotic & wanting to touch it is not racist?

[BoobleBeep]

I'm wondering about this, I have tried to link the articale by Hannah Pool in Grazia but can't find it online.

It was an article on casual racism in the UK and she cited an incident where she had been in the womens toilets and a white women had said how beautiful and exotic her hair was and asked if she could touch it (whilkst reaching out and touching it), Hannah Pool said no you can't and teh women said she was rude.

I lived in Japan for years and had blonde hair back then. Lots of people saidhow exotic my hair was and people liked to touch it sometimes, it didn't bother me at all. My daughter is mixed race and has gorgeous very thick black hair and I love touching it as it is so different to my own.

At the end of the day I couldn't care less whether you are pussy pink with yellow dots on. I tend to treat others as I wish to be treated.

I do however have no time at all for people who do not celebrate differences.

i was being stupid

in response to the race card remark :)

Ah yes, PC people pointing out people's racism, makes people racist.

Because otherwise, those racist people would be anti racist wouldn't they? But nasty PC people pointing out that they're ignoring their privilege, makes them come over all BNP. People should stop discussing racism, so that it doesn't make people racist.

You simply could not make it up.

"I think HP was perfectly entitled to feel that the hair toucher was rude and inappropriate. However, to call her racist/exhibitor of racist behaviour does not move the debate forward very much if at all."

For the nth time - HP did not call her racist or tell her she was displaying racist behaviour. She wrote an article in which the random hair toucher wasn't named, in order to illustrate casual racism and to discuss how this is one minor incident of it. At no point did she say the woman should be arrested for racism or ostracised, I presume. She is discussing casual racism.

And that apparently, is dangerous, because it will cause white people who wouldn't otherwise be racists, to, er, become racist.

I feel like I've wandered into a pub in Millwall.

Or indeed, into a FIFA board meeting.

Well then I will take that as foul play then freudian. Many a true word said in jest though ay.

What about one in fulham Eleanor.

Unfortunately plenty of people walk round with rather large chips on their shoulders.

Ah yes, the chip on the shoulder.

The chip that is so big, that it obscures white privilege.

Do you actually know about the concept of white privilege?

Or do you just know about chips?

Like I said, I couldn't give a frig. Like a bit of fish with them chips on a Friday.

What about this one...

When in Rome do as the Romans do.

I've kept out of this until now.
My grandmother is spanish. I have olive skin and jet black hair. As a child/teenager/young adult it was waist length. The amount of people that used to want to touch my hair drove me insane. 'Exotic' was always used and it was used to mean 'other'. I've been called the 'p' word and told to 'play the white man'. My daughter has inherited my skin and hair colour. I have been into school about her being called the 'p' word, about her being told she should only go out with a certain boy because 'he looks asian too'.
Try it again, and yes you'll smell the bloody vinegar coming.

i thought it was obvious

then again a thread showing so much ignorance many i really should have thought it through a bit better

but yes i have heard this said many times and i always wonder are people really that stupid to think that others can not see through their bigotry or that stupid that they believe equality and respect for others makes people prejudiced ? its baffling

What about the old adage about walking in another man's
shoes?

I don't think it was casual racism but it was casual boundary-crossing.
I don't know whether Pool suffers more of this due to her race. Most women suffer it due to gender.

Like other blondes travelling in non-touristy regions, I've had this from people who rarely see fair hair. It's the fascination of difference. Unless Pool wants people to act as if she's no different from them (which would be seriously dishonest if they're white and she's black), she hasn't got that much of a complaint except about the boundary-crossing. A person who touches other people like that is just as likely to do it to a stunning redhead, ime.

Ignorance comes in many shapes and forms. So does bitterness.

or what about leaving the past where it belongs.

I doubt if Hannah Poole is bitter. She's a successful journalist with a very nice life AFAIK.

Honestly, it is really quite thick to imagine that a political analysis of racism, boundary crossing, privilege etc, means that the people interested in doing that, are bitter.

This thread has reache dthe surreal stage now. How many posts left?

What about learning from the past

.... and moving on.

Who said Hannah Poole was bitter?

The past is very important, how can you leave it behind - why would you want to when we can learn so much from it.

I wouldn't say it's racist but it's rude for strangers to touch anybody without permission. Having curly hair (half black) myself I got a lot of this growing up and it can be very intimidating if someone just grabs at you like you're some kind of freak. I've never had the inclinination to just go up to a white person with straight hair and touch it. It's weird.

You threw out some random comment about bitterness fuzzy. I presumed you were referring to HP but if you weren't, please do explain what the relevance of your comment is. If there is any relevance of course, this is mumsnet and there doesn't have to be.

Was in a nightclub once and two men from Saudi tried to buy me.. Apparently I was worth 10 camels

Is it race day on Mumsnet? There seems to be a hell of a lot of it about today. Very strange and a lot of wilfull ignorance about. Never thought I would say this but I'm kind of looking forward to it all going back to normal service i.e. the usual bunfights such as FF v BF etc!

Just slinging in a few derogatory words here and there for good measure. After all it is mumsnet as you say.

When i was younger i lived in Africa. One day we were in a car with 2 black african children and a baby (way before seat belts etc) and they all kept stroking my hair. As they were little and i was pretty ypung i didn't think anything of it.