to not attend team Christmas meal at work?

[SnowDin]

So, I work in a small team of 6 within a large corporation.

Team boss has made a big fuss about organising a team lunch for Christmas.

It's only going to be a sort of long lunch hour within a normal working day.

However, the team decision was to go for set 3 course meal at local posh place.

Plus doing Secret Santa at the meal, this is going to set me back about £50.

And therein lies the problem. I really CANNOT afford to spend that amount of money on a quick lunch.

Which puts me in a very difficult situation.

Do I a) try and scrape the money together (from nowhere), or b) speak up about it which will mean that on the day in question, team will all troop off to lunch and I will be left in office on my own.

You need to speak up. If they are not willing to change the venue then they should drop the secret santa. I cannot imagine that they would want to leave you out.

Just say it straight, tell them that you are not going due to the expense. Others in your team might be feeling the same way!

And just use that lunch break to do some Xmas shopping or something.

Are the company not paying for it? When I worked for private companies they always paid for our Xmas party. It was only in the public sector we had to fund are own. If you have to pay and really can't afford it could you suggest somewhere less pricey?

Can you tell the team boss you cant afford it? Have you spoken to anyone else in your team about it? I wouldn't go if it were me

Tell the team leader you can't afford it, and unfortunately will not be able to attend. They shouldn't arrange something at that cost unless everyone is happy with the arrangements.

FWIW I've arranged ours, and shortlisted places at about £20 a head for the meal, though obviously there'll also be a few drinks, hopefully not a silly amount at lunchtime!

The team can rethink it, or go without you - it may not be the most fun watching them go off without you, but I think its better than spending £50 you don't have on something pointless.

I doubt boss it going to be very happy about me not going or about changing the venue.

He made a big hoo hah about picking a venue back in August.

The rest of the team are all double income, no kids sort of people, whilst I work part time and have 3 little ones.

If all the private companies contributed towards pensions for their employees instead of paying for Christmas meals . . .

It is a private company.

And it's been made very clear that we have to pay for ourselves.

That's just it Violet - the rest of the team just do not understand that massive shift in priorities.

They will think that fact that I can't afford it is ridiculous.

But I have a much lower income than them, and a very very different set of priorities.

If they've made it clear they aren't paying they can't really expect you to fork out £50 of your own money. YANBU so just tell your boss and hopefully next time they'll be but more considerate. Scholes34 I must have just been very lucky, the companies I've worked for have all contributed to pensions AND paid for Xmas party, I thought it was the done thing...my naievity, sorry.

I still think you should say something, although August when he first mentioned it would have been better rather than leaving it til now.

I agree. I think he is going to p!ssed off that I have not said anything earlier.

However, I have 2 large and unexpected epexditures since then which I could not possibly have predicted

YANBU - don't go if they won't choose a cheaper venue.

Can you make an excuse to get out of it? School appt, childcare issues etc, then you could just take half a days leave and avoid it altogether.

YANBU

We pay for our work Christmas meal but we go somewhere that's normally between 10 and 16 quid. I wouldn't go for a work meal in a lunch hour if I had to spend 50 pounds.

chuck a sickie on the day. Seriously.

I have considered phoning in sick or making an excuse, but I think that

a) knowing my team, that may be taken even worse than saying that I can't afford it

and b) it is a waste of my annual leave / sick leave record.

I would certainly say why you aren't going. You don't have to make a big deal out of it. Just smile sweetly and say you are not angry about it or anything and don't want to spoil the day, but it's too much for you to afford. They can't posibly take offence. 3 kids is a very good reason to have better things to spend money on at Christmas time and nobody would find that ridiculous.

just be honest with them and tell them you cannot afford to pay that much.

How about just going in and explaining you hve had an unexpected bill and you're not going to be able to go to the meal afterall, I'm sure they would understand.

Well then the only way forward is to say "look a few things have come up recently and I really can't afford this xmas lunch/secret santa thing so I'm not going to be able to come. I appreciate it's a bit late in the day for you to change plans so won't be offended if you carry on without me"

Hopefully your team mates aren't a bag of arses and wouldn't dream of leaving you out and will have a rethink.