To think DH might need some help? (..or maybe he does hate me?!)

[MrsBumpy]

Told me at the wend that he hates me and mumbled something about me being 'run over' when he stormed off. I'm 39 wks preg & know I've been a challenge to live with - moody, bit snappy & generally a bit of a pain in the arse! Honestly, I'm not normally like this..!

We were taking DD (20 months) out for a walk at the time. I absolutely hate it when she sees us not getting on, try to avoid her seeing if possible.

Probably sounds dramatic, but I feel since the wkend I've retreated into a shell in myself, can't look at him and feel like I'm doubting our relationship..
DH is normally lovely to me, very committed & a fantastic dad to DD, but he thinks life should be perfect & gets hugely frustrated when we have disagreements which I thought were a normal part of life
He is very apologetic about what he said, but he seems to lose his temper badly like that about once a month (in front of DD too which is not acceptable). I've mentioned anger management therapy & he was a bit neutral about it..
I'm not qualified in MH so I don't know what would help the situation whether its couples therapy or AM therapy for him. Obv. timing is a bit off as I might go into labour anytime soon but I'm worried about the effect on the DC if we don't get it sorted sooner rather than later.

Also is it usual for men to completely go off sex when you're heavily pregnant? I guess it's down to the individual, but anyone elses experiences would be appreciated! I haven't put on much weight in pregnancy but I can tell he doesn't fancy me . Absolutely no chance of sex to help bring on labour then...

He thinks he will sort it by you not disagreeing with him and having a 'nice harmonious relationship' where he effectively controls you so he doesn't have to control himself.

The way he can stop reacting like that is to go and bare his soul to a qualified therapist not with the aim of finding excuses to go on as before but in hopes of treating you better.

Actually, mrsbumpy you said "I'm not qualified in MH," which may have led people to believe you were thinking he might have MH issues.

It would also have indicated that she didn't really know if it was mh.

Goodness. Judging by the reception on this thread you'd think MrsBumpy was thoroughly in the wrong. And yet it's her DH throwing grown up tantrums and frightening their DC.

the initial reception, ada

subsequent posters have been far more realistic

So I see- that will teach me to jump in feet first af. Glad to see it :)

I don't have much to add to the good advice that's already on here MrsBumpy but just wanted to add a message of support. Your DH does need to take responsibility for himself and sort this out. Therapy might be a good place to start.

Thanks again for your replies & support, appreciated.

Didn't realise I had insinuated that DH (who I love very much) is mentally ill just that there may be issues that need addressing...
Me saying 'I'm not qualified in MH' meant that I didn't have a clue when I posted this what was going on or if he needs some professional help.
Mathanxiety you are wise.

Think I'm going to go off for a bit now..to 'get a grip' (ha!) eat pineapple and drink raspberry tea.

re the lack of sex - did anyone else see the programme on BBC 2 a couple of years ago about the hormonal changes that men go through when their partners are pregnant. I can't remember the details but I'm pretty sure that in some men there is a measurable drop in testosterone whilst their partners are pregnant and when they have a new born baby. I think that it was thought to be a protective evolutionary response to promote a nurturing response in the male. It might be that he doesn't fancy sex because his hormone levels are lower. don't panic, they do return to normal though! just another perspective, I've no idea if it's relevant in your case or not.

Hope you get it all sorted though.