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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'Wake up baby!' Not so much AIBU as what would you have said?

128 replies

everybodysang · 14/11/2011 15:27

Took the morning off work today as I had an appointment in town with 10 month old DD. Once we had done that I was walking around town with her and she fell asleep in her pushchair. She's usually in a sling and doesn't often fall asleep in the pushchair so I was delighted, especially as she had a terrible night last night and we've both got a cold - I thought, ooh, I can sit down and have a coffee and read my book for half an hour.
Went into coffee shop, ordered coffee, waiting in queue for coffee to be made - still delighted that she was sound asleep. Small boy, I think around 3.5/4 suddenly ran up to us, ran round the pushchair, leaned in and SCREAMED in her face 'Wake up baby! Wake up!' and then ran off again. DD woke up, screaming and terrified. I looked round to see where the little boy had gone, and he was standing by his mum a few people behind me in the queue. I caught her eye and she kind of shrugged at me, laughed and said 'oh, he's always doing that.'
That was it. I got my coffee but poor DD was inconsolable so had to throw it down my neck and leave almost straight away. She cried the whole way home on the bus.
I know young kids do impulsive things, he was only small so I don't really have a problem with him actually having done it - though obviously I wish he hadn't - but I just sort of gawped at his mum, and I wished I'd had a good comeback. Wouldn't you apologise if your child did this? What would you have said to her?

OP posts:
NotJustClassic · 14/11/2011 15:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grumpykat · 14/11/2011 15:29

Honestly? I would have been so pissed off I'd probably have burst into tears as well. Not due to sadness but the utter fucking indignation of having my 15 minutes coffee peace removed.
And I'd have wanted to twat the mother one. And my teacher voice would have launched itself at the unsuspecting toddler.
It would have been messy. You have much self control, well done.

TrinityRhino · 14/11/2011 15:30

I would have been furious

grumpykat · 14/11/2011 15:30

And yes, if it was my dd she would not be having a coffee any more, she'd be going home in disgrace. God, I'd have been LIVID.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 14/11/2011 15:31

Would have been furious and torn a strip off his mother. If DD had done that I would be absolutely mortified and offering to walk your baby round the block to get her off again!

NinkyNonker · 14/11/2011 15:32

Tears. There would definitely have been tears here.

Original poster
everybodysang · 14/11/2011 15:34

I nearly did cry. It was my first Christmas Starbucks. I didn't have any last year because I was pregnant with DD right up to Christmas and I went right off coffee.

OP posts:
nickelbabe · 14/11/2011 15:34

the fact that she shrugged and "he's always doing that" would have been enough for me to tear a strip off the mother!

If it was something that the child never normally did, I would expect the mother to be a little bit embarrassed at least , but to acknowledge he did it often and not even apologise to you?
ShockAngry

marriedinwhite · 14/11/2011 15:34

I'd have been furious too - more at the mother for not telling him off and for not apologising properly, especially for saying "he's always doing that" and laughing. I hope I would have said "well it's time you taught him not to then".

DoMeDon · 14/11/2011 15:36

'If he is always doing that, maybe it is time to address his behaviour and instill some boundaries you supercillious bint--' or 'well tell him off then' - depending on how tired and in need of coffee I was.

Permissive parents are a bugbear of mine.

DoMeDon · 14/11/2011 15:36

Damn you strike out!!

valiumredhead · 14/11/2011 15:38

Honestly? I would have been so pissed off I'd probably have burst into tears as well. Not due to sadness but the utter fucking indignation of having my 15 minutes coffee peace removed

Me too!

bemybebe · 14/11/2011 15:38

I had a similar situation. I was walking my puppy, when a small kid asked to stroke her. He was with his mum (I guess) and about 5-6yo. I asked my dog to sit which she did and invited the boy to stroke her. When he touched her ears he suddenly started screaming on top of his voice in delight right into her face, which terrified her but the mother just laughted it off. I was f furious, but tried not to make to much fuss. As a result of this incident I had a very hard time socializing my dog with young kids and she is still very wary of them.

Sorry you had your moment of peace so thoughtlessly ruined.

eaglewings · 14/11/2011 15:38

I would love to have demanded that she pay for my wasted coffee . . . .

DoMeDon · 14/11/2011 15:40

be - that is dreadful!

ThisIsANickname · 14/11/2011 15:41

I probably would have marched right over to them and asked her to explain to her son why it's not OK to do that, or I would.

Abcinthia · 14/11/2011 15:42

I would be furious if that happened to me. Children can be impulsive but if he is "always doing that" then why hasn't the mother taken any steps to stop it from happening repeatedly?

If my DD did anything like that I would be utterly mortified. I'd make sure I apologised profusely to you, ask if I could do anything, tell DD off and explain to her why that is not acceptable behaviour.

FredFredGeorge · 14/11/2011 15:48

YABU to moan about the wasted coffee - just ask to swap it into a take away cup and take it with you.

YABU to complain about the behaviour of a 4 year old who was just interested in your baby.

YANBU to think his parents reaction was poor and should've told the kid that it's not nice behaviour.

Tinkerisdead · 14/11/2011 15:49

If that had been me i'd have cried. I had a bloody machine that rocked my pram so i could get stuff done so a sit down for a coffee would have been the equivalent of a spa break for me!

And if my 3yr old dd did that to a baby i'd go beserk and not only would i be grovelling, she'd be apologising and frogmarched out.

Good for you that you finished the drink i think i'd have said i'm sorry can you cancel my drink i wont be able to drink it now with withering looks at the mother.

Ciske · 14/11/2011 15:53

Not furious with the boy, kids are still learning at that age, but yes, I'd be upset with the mother for not acting on it and teaching the boy it was wrong to behave that way. I'd probably have turned to the boy and said it's not nice to wake up sleeping babies and left it at that.

countrybump · 14/11/2011 15:53

If I was the boy's mother I would have been mortified and apologised profusely, and made my DS apologise. It wouldn't have got baby back to sleep though.

bemybebe · 14/11/2011 15:54

"YABU to moan about the wasted coffee"

Rubbish. It is not just a drink in your stomach, it is a precious moment of peace lost due to poor parenting.

happyhorse · 14/11/2011 15:55

Fred a child of four should know that shouting in a baby's face is not the way to take an interest in it - and he it didn't the mother should be making damn sure that he learns. I say that as a mother of a four year old boy so I don't think I'm being unrealistic.

MarianneM · 14/11/2011 15:56

Oh my goodness - I can feel my blood pressure rising just reading your story! I don't actually agree that 3.5-4 yo children don't understand what they're doing. My 3yo DD would know better than to do something like that (I think).

I would have been absolutely LIVID, and most probably cried out of fury and disappointment. I can't believe the parent didn't tell the child off!

MogandMe · 14/11/2011 15:58

If my 4.1 year old had done this he would have had to apologise and then we would have left the coffee shop. In fact even if he had done this at 2 he would have had the same consequences.