Another parent disciplining my son

[Lorna100]

Apologies if this posts twice!! Basically my sons best friends mother telephoned my house yesterday to speak to me, however my mother-in-law was babysitting. My 9 year old answered the phone and when the parent was told I was out she asked to speak directlt to my son, knowing that their granny was in. She proceeded to tell my son off for swinging her sons school bag on the way home from school. The wee boys water bottle leaked all over his jotter, as a result of the bag being swung. Despite telling my son off she then put her son on the phone and forced my son to apologise. I am so angry that she thought she could chatise my son over the phone, without his parents being in. My son is 9 and in the past has been hit by this boy, which I let be as did not want to interfere with squabbles between pals. Please advice

Laurie I have just come to the thread and I got that there was only one child of 9....it''s badlyworded but clear enough.

Have any of you told off a child for doing something to your child that you didn't see?

But the point is that neither the OP, not the other mother knew exactly what happened.

I am guessing other mother was pissed off because her son's bag was wet. She told her son off and he said it wasn't my fault it was X. And because other mother was in a strop she rang up to tear a strip off someone else.

No problem with children being told off by other adults. But it's best if it's face to face and at the time. This smacks of a ratty adult having a go at an easy target to make herself feel better.

As I said earlier I can't beleive anyone would make such a fuss over this as to ring in the first place.

Thankyou Orm.

But that's the whole problem with AIBU
We don't know the full history of these boys' relationship.

It could be OP's ds is an annoying little tyke who winds people up and crosses the line occassionally and this incident was on top of numerous others.
Or it could have been a one off and the other mum is nuts.

OP still hasn't come back and said why he had the bag in the first place?

And if the other mother was present to witness the bag-swinging atrocity why the fuck didn't she say something at the time?

You're welcome jamie

No - we don't actually know whether the other mum was there or not.

I don't know why I care so much .....

I love the fact that (some) children still use "jotters"

AIBU?

'jotters' is a fabulous word.

Yes I have twins and no I didn't end a nasty message to a reply just a response to a ridiculous tone. Don't think I'll be using this sort of thing again but thanks to the rational replies.

Don't go OP - I wanted to know more.

YANBU at all, she should have spoken to your MIL about it, or waited until you were about.

I never knew the world was such a complex and Machiavellan and upsetting place before I knew Mumsnet. At times I used to think it was rather dull. I know better now.

Arf! Ain't that the truth cory?

Stop taking the piss for me saying Machiavellian

There has been too much hearsay by both you and the other mother.

No good will come of this.

I daresay you both would wish to draw a line and start again. As should the boys. Could you do this? I'm pretty sure the boys could - that's been my experience of boys, anyway.

Come back OP. You are always going to get a few uppity comments/quiche queens that back each other up (I work alone)

There are "hidden" rules here regarding pm's now apparently runs to get volume 3 of 400 page note book entitled "how to behave on mumsnet" to note this down

They do say groups of women are the worst huh.

Grow a thick skin and take no notice.