Another parent disciplining my son

[Lorna100]

Apologies if this posts twice!! Basically my sons best friends mother telephoned my house yesterday to speak to me, however my mother-in-law was babysitting. My 9 year old answered the phone and when the parent was told I was out she asked to speak directlt to my son, knowing that their granny was in. She proceeded to tell my son off for swinging her sons school bag on the way home from school. The wee boys water bottle leaked all over his jotter, as a result of the bag being swung. Despite telling my son off she then put her son on the phone and forced my son to apologise. I am so angry that she thought she could chatise my son over the phone, without his parents being in. My son is 9 and in the past has been hit by this boy, which I let be as did not want to interfere with squabbles between pals. Please advice

Well, after receiving that charming PM from the OP, I can see where her kid gets his behaviour from.

Anyone else got one, or just me?

Fuss about nothing! Silly woman. If it really bothered her she should have spoken to you not him. And as for making your son apologise to the other boy? FFS! I suspect he was only needed an apology (assuming he cared either way) because she was giving him an ear-bashing about the bloody bag.

eaglewings please, how on earth from this 'friends mother telephoned my house yesterday to speak to me, however my mother-in-law was babysitting. My 9 year old answered the phone' do you deduce that she called the boy up?

She can't ask to speak to the boy when she is already speaking to him,, he answered the dog and bone, she had no need to ask to speak to him.

My reading of it is, she wanted to speak to op, boy answered, and rather than make a bigger deal thought she would just ask for him take, and tell him of the damage so he didn't do it again. Whilst the chat was going well, she put her boy on to smooth it over between them so op's son could tell him he was sorry for ruining the book, which a decent kid would want to do anyway. They would want the friendship to be AOK again.

I personally think it's silly to call full stop, chatting with op won't dry the book, but maybe there is more to it.

No Bucharest - was it nasty?

REPORT, REPORT, REPORT.

Hang on...we are talking about 'swinging a bag' aren't we? Not stabbing the child repeatedly. or stringing neighbours cat from tree? Just wanted to be sure....

Yes, I have a PM too.

Yes, Lorna I did read that your child was hit by the other boy and it's IRRELEVANT because you didn't bring it up at the time - who knows if the other parent even knew?

You have utterly failed to address whether your son did this which leads me to believe you're just trying to divert attention away and blame other parent.

There is no need to get so squinky about it either - if he did it he got told off, no big deal.

If he didn't do it then you can talk to YOUR FRIEND and ask her to call you next time so you can help to ascertain what happened.

Frankly I think your children are either old enough to be told off by your best friend or not old enough to answer the phone.

No PM yet, probably find a horses head in my bed tonight though

Hmmm. On the face of it, no biggie, but actually, if there was something more going on between these boys, like bullying, then the mum phoning up is being potentially Machiavelian in talking to the boy without the mum present, and without running it by her first. It puts the OP's son in a very vulnerable position. This sort of thing shouldn't be discussed on the phone. - being forced to apologise, without any opportunity to find out what actually happened.

However, not sure about nasty PMs ....

YABU. If you choose not to challenge your DS being hit, that's up to you. This woman chose to challenge the way your son behaved; as you were't in, she took it up with him. Her DS and yours are friends, so presumably she knows him a bit. I really don't see what's so off about this.

You should be taking her side and working together to get both boys to behave, rather than getting all huffy and aggrieved because she dared to correct your child.

Uh. OP - you should be answering people ON THE THREAD rather than by PM.

I'm sure that's a confusing concept but still..

Yes, OP. I'm sort of on your side. I would be annoyed as well. But don't go behind our backs like the other mum did .....

YANBU

I wouldn't be happy at all , I thing the whole forcing him to apologise etc, very playground of her.
your son handled It well it seems.

At 9 I would have gone sod off, you're not my mum

having a pop at a child over the phone eh' clearly a hard individual

I suspect of OP's son is the annoying type that pinches other kid's bags and throws them around (how else would he have the bag, I very much doubt he offered to carry it) then he will probably get hit occassionally if he winds other kids up too much!

Looooooorna!

You can tell us to fuck off and everything on MN you know!

We won't even care! Or report you!

We'll tell you to fuck back off yourself mind.

Yes, but you can't assume that bruffin.

How ironic that the OP is now apparently (I haven't had one) going behind the backs of the posters on this thread and sending PMs rather than facing people's comments head on!

Ah, how funny life can be.

Why is the OP sending PMs instead of answering her thread?

whoa there bruffin

Well, I presumed that however the bag got into the hands of OP's son, it wasn't done after violence or intimidation (not part of OP's story), and that it was merely swung around in space, not bashed on something (or someone). Which amounts to boisterousness but not something that would obviously lead to property damage.

I would raise eyebrows if my child was told off that way but nothing more.
Storm in a tea cup, and all that.

(for all I know "Swinging a bag" is some ancient English schoolboy game of using the bag to swing oneself from trees or to tie two bikes together & cycle them in parallel, I've been caught out that way before...)

Come back OP - don't shoot yerself in the foot!

"having a pop at a child over the phone eh, clearly a hard individual"

Yeah, like OPs who PM people rather than saying it on the thread.

Bah, I'm going back to ebay.

Ach it's a total non issue. Yabu.

"when told I was out she asked to speak directly to my son"
The mum with the wet bag asked to speak to the swinging boy!

All the woman had to do was say I'll call back later.