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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Shared Driveway AIBU

109 replies

PerryCombover · 10/11/2011 15:10

Don't wanna drip so here is the saga

Neighbour whom I share a driveway with told me to use the driveway and keep my car beside the house when I moved in.
Her reasons were that she lived on her own and didn't have a car and at the time I had two toddlers and was heavily preggo. We also live on a main road.
I was very grateful.

We are v good to live next door to wrt noise, cleanliness etc..there have been no complaints. Except.. that the neighbours daughter decided to have a series of rants at me about abusing her mother and the driveway being shared etc.
I was clear that her mother had made the suggestion and I was very grateful.

Wind on a year and the neighbour has asked that I park my car on the footpath outside the house. She has examined the deeds and would like the driveway to be empty. I think but agree to do so as long as I can offload the kids and then move the car.
She then comes back to me and suggests that I simply move the car to the bottom of the driveway as it will be safer for us all.
Lovely, everyone is happy or so I think.

Today neighbour has come back and said although she understands it will be difficult she doesn't want me to offload children in driveway or park at the bottom of driveway

Better that we agree simply to use the driveway to walk up.

Even though I know I will prevent my neighbour from parking her non existent car in our shared driveway I think I'm gonna park at the bottom on my half, AIBU

OP posts:

IloveJudgeJudy · 10/11/2011 15:13

I sort of think I understand what you mean. I thought the idea of a shared driveway was exactly that, you use the driveway to drive up to your garage, hardstanding, whatever. It's only the driveway that's shared and not the bit of your garden. YANBU

Bangtastic · 10/11/2011 15:14

Oh tell her to feck off and find a hobby. It is shared! Honestly. She has no car, you do, plus children to get safely out of it which is best done on a driveway and not a main road.

She can't keep moving the goalposts.

Original poster

PerryCombover · 10/11/2011 15:15

Neither of us have a garage.
She will now have exactly half of her driveway to access

OP posts:

emsyj · 10/11/2011 15:16

We have a shared driveway and it is for access - if only our garage wasn't full of shite, we could drive up it and park in there and our car would be totally on our property.

If your scenario is that you access your parking area (which is private and yours) by driving along the shared drive, then YANBU and she can't stop you.

catawampus · 10/11/2011 15:16

Sounds like the daughter is winding her mum up into believing she's somehow losing her rights.

I wonder if you could establish that she is not in any way losing her rights by graciously allowing you free use of the driveway, and that she is free - and will always be free - to use the drive as much as you do, as and when she needs to. (Assuming that's what the deeds say?)

If other neighbours have similar shared driveways, might they be able to mediate?

RealityIsADistantMemory · 10/11/2011 15:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NorthernNumpty · 10/11/2011 15:18

If deeds allow her the right to unimpeded passage along driveway then techincally you are infringing that even if you are on your own 'half' IYSWIM

Layout really difficult to picture from your post. Is there no parking area at all/garage/car port?

101North · 10/11/2011 15:18

Shared driveway. is the point.

I know these things are awful and rely on a lot of co-operation but it sounds like your neighbour is being a bit dictatorial. You have as much right as her to use the driveway as you see fit.
I used to live in a house like this before I had kids or a car and next door neighbours had toddlers so had a gate put up and the space was filled with trikes and scooters. I had no use for the space so, by mutual agreement, she used the space and kept it clean.

lesley33 · 10/11/2011 15:20

Is the daughter worried that if you parkj on the driveway that her mother somehow uses rights to use the driveway? If so a formal letter from you confirming that your neighbour still has full legal rights to use the driveway might be enough to calm the daughter down?

mummyflood · 10/11/2011 15:21

Bit confused OP. Are you saying that it is a shared access approx the width of a standard car leading to garages/hardstanding at the bottom, within your back gardens, and that on your side in front of your house you have for eg. gravel or concrete whereas she has lawn/plants etc,? (I am describing the layout of some semis near us)

If this is the case, then I cannot see a problem with you using the shared drive to pull onto the front of your property and leaving your car there, provided that you are not preventing access to the back of your neighbours property - eg what if she had a visitor who wanted to put their car in her garage or hardstanding? However, if the layout means that you cannot park your car leaving the shared driveway clear and allowing access to the rear of her property, then it sounds as though YABU.

Tigresswoods · 10/11/2011 15:22

We actually moved house years ago for the sole reason that a shared driveway didn't work. It was shit.

whatdoiknowanyway · 10/11/2011 15:24

Umm isn't the clue in the name - it's a driveway!
What are you supposed to do if not drive up it? Otherwise it would be called a footpath.

alemci · 10/11/2011 15:26

I think as long as you don't block her access to the drive if you park at the end of the drive it is okay. what is the point of you having a drive if you can't use it. You need to get kids off the road and take heavy shopping into the house. She sounds like a real pain.

we are very fortunate to have our own drive and it was an asset when we bought the house as shared drives are fairly standard.

It reminds me a bit of the Victorian Parlour idea where no one ever went in it.

bethelbeth · 10/11/2011 15:31

Draw a big line up the middle and neither she nor her daughter can complain

valiumredhead · 10/11/2011 15:37

What do your deeds say?

Original poster

PerryCombover · 10/11/2011 15:39

Sorry I'm clear as ditch-water.
We have a widish driveway. Nothing at the top to access.
I would imagine that at some point it might have been just garden..between two semis.
Both of our front doors open onto the driveway.

By parking at the bottom of the driveway on nominally my half I am preventing her full motor vehicle access to her front door as she has built a wall around her front garden that reduces her access to her half iyswim.
If she removed the wall she could also park at the bottom of the drive and drive to her front door if she needed to access it

Look I know I'm being a bit of a tool but she has started to be a pointless pain and her daughter is a shouty maniac

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 10/11/2011 15:50

I'm not sure I understand this.

If you built a wall around your garden part and up to the door (as she has done) what would the driveway look like ?

Would it just be a 10 foot wide by 80 foot long space between your two houses?

I can sort of see her point - say she was to have a visitor, they would have equal rights to deposit stuff at her front door but wouldn't be able to if your car was there?? Is that right?

If that's the case then she could lose her access by granting you full rights to park there - and her house would be worth less.

RealityIsADistantMemory · 10/11/2011 15:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RealityIsADistantMemory · 10/11/2011 15:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaurieFairyCake · 10/11/2011 15:57

It is possible though that the access IS your half - which then means it's technically not YOUR half to do with as you please as you are not permitted to build a wall/garden as it then deprives her of access.

The shared driveway can be both your access and for YOU not to have a half IYSWIM

RealityIsADistantMemory · 10/11/2011 15:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ExitPursuedByaBear · 10/11/2011 15:59

We need a sketch...

mayorquimby · 10/11/2011 16:01

If you are blocking access to her side of the driveway I think yabu.
Essentially would you park there if she had a car?

eurochick · 10/11/2011 16:04

Look at the deeds and see what is properly yours and what is shared access. If you are parking the shared access, I think you will have to move. If you are fully on your property you can do what you like.

Original poster

PerryCombover · 10/11/2011 16:05

You see I know I'm being unreasonable but I think she's being an awkward so and so.
Driveway is kind of 12 feet wide by 80 feet long.
I know parking on my half will prevent her access to her front door if she had guests in a car
I know that is unfair of me.
I also know that 99% of the time she never has a guest in a car and it feels unfair to ask me to park outside and only use the driveway as a very wide pathway.
If it wasn't for the 3 under 5 I would just park outside to be hon

OP posts:

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