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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want DP drinking when he is looking after the kids?

63 replies

CJ2010 · 10/11/2011 13:15

I had a rare evening out last Sat night with a friend and DP was left to care for the kids, both under 2 years old. I got home at about 11pm to find him drinking a vodka and coke. I then went into the kitchen and found 4 empty beer bottles (eqivalent to 2 pints I think) I dont know how many vodkas he had drunk, he didn't seem pissed, however what if one of the kids had become unwell and needed taking to hopsital, he may well have been over the limit? I never drink when in sole charge of the DC's. He said he didn't have a drink until they were both in bed asleep.

I didn't make a fuss at the time but it has been playing on my mind ever since and its been bothering me. AIBU?

OP posts:
lesley33 · 10/11/2011 13:17

I think so. Being drunk is not on. But having a drink is imo fine. If he couldn't drive and there was an emergency wouldn't he just call a taxi? And if it couldn't wait for a taxi to come then its more likely to be an ambulance job anyway.

GypsyMoth · 10/11/2011 13:19

I'm a lone parent... So I can't drink?

Yabu

Proudnscary · 10/11/2011 13:19

Oh for gawd's sake! I don't know anyone who doesn't cane the wine when the kids are in bed on a Saturday night!

YABU

GypsyMoth · 10/11/2011 13:20

You would be even more unreasonable if you 'spoke' to him about it too. He is the other parent, it's up to him

WilsonFrickett · 10/11/2011 13:20

If I'd written the OP then IWBU because DH and I often have a drink at home when DS is there. But if you never do, I guess YANBU. Having said that, not doing anything because the DC might get ill and have to go to hospital arguement, well, that's not really a reason IMO.

GrownUpSparkler · 10/11/2011 13:21

I don't drive.

I don't agree with getting drunk, but having a couple of drinks responsibly is no bother.

Trills · 10/11/2011 13:23

YABU, in this situation.

2 pints and a vodka over an evening is not much for an adult man.

Plenty of people can't drive. If someone needed taking to hospital (and there's no reason to think they would) he was perfectly capable of calling a taxi or an ambulance (as appropriate).

porcamiseria · 10/11/2011 13:25

what pruodnscary said

Its Saturday night FFS!!!!!

tocha · 10/11/2011 13:26

YABU. I don't drive, does that mean I should never be left alone with my DS Hmm

NatashaBee · 10/11/2011 13:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ExitPursuedByaBear · 10/11/2011 13:27

Eek - every night is Saturday night here.

DoMeDon · 10/11/2011 13:28

Agree with others - YABU. DH and I drink together aftre DC bed time. We get squiffy, we couldn't drive. We could call a dr, ambulance, etc.

Also what ILT said - lone parents can now never unwind with a Wine or 3???

StrandedBear · 10/11/2011 13:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2cats2many · 10/11/2011 13:30

I will often have a couple of glasses of wine on a Saturday night if DH has gone out. Does that make me irresponsible? I don't think so. If there was a medical emergency, I'd call 999.

Saying that you have to be under the drink drive limit to look after your own children, is the same as saying that you can't look after them unless you have a driver licence. Both equally bonkers statements in my book.

QuintessentialShadow · 10/11/2011 13:30

If my dh is away, I may still have a glass of wine. I would never get drunk when in charge of the kids though.

sunshineandbooks · 10/11/2011 13:32

I don't think it's acceptable for any parent, single or otherwise, to be drunk when there are children in the house (even if they are asleep). However, that doesn't mean you can't have a drink. As long as you are still able to behave sensibly in an emergency or if a child became ill, that's all that matters. It's down to individuals to know where their personal cutoff is.

I don't think too many people get rolling-round-on-the-floor drunk when they have children around them unless they are already problem drinkers, in which case you wouldn't leave a child with them anyway...

Insomnia11 · 10/11/2011 13:32

Kids asleep for the night = wine o'clock

nethunsreject · 10/11/2011 13:32

Yabu.

porcamiseria · 10/11/2011 13:33

mee too exit

switchtvoffdosomelessboring · 10/11/2011 13:34

In my 7+ years off motherhood I have never yet had a middle of the night illness that requires any more than cleaning up sick/pee/poo , giving some medicine and a cuddle . All of which can be done under the influence of a few glasses of wine.

YANBU

switchtvoffdosomelessboring · 10/11/2011 13:35

ahh YABU. I meant.

Original poster
CJ2010 · 10/11/2011 13:36

We have a 3 month old baby, I guess my biggest worry was DC waking up (which he does frequently) and DP bringing him down the stairs and dropping him.

We both like a drink when the kids are in bed but I know my limits as I do the eve/night feeds. Last Sat night was my night off, I went out and got really drunk and he was left in charge and was doing all the night time care / feeds.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 10/11/2011 13:36

Switch..... After 17 years of being a parent, neither have I!!!!

GypsyMoth · 10/11/2011 13:37

You got 'really drunk'.... Breastfeeding are you?

superwomanisamyth · 10/11/2011 13:38

Sorry to buck the trend but I have to admit I wouldn't like it either and this is why, nothing to do with him drinking while the kids are fast asleep upstairs. It's him drinking on his own. If DH goes out with friends and gets plastered on a night out and has a great time good for him god knows he works really hard, getting drunk on his own at home I don't like !!