To not want DP drinking when he is looking after the kids?

[CJ2010]

I had a rare evening out last Sat night with a friend and DP was left to care for the kids, both under 2 years old. I got home at about 11pm to find him drinking a vodka and coke. I then went into the kitchen and found 4 empty beer bottles (eqivalent to 2 pints I think) I dont know how many vodkas he had drunk, he didn't seem pissed, however what if one of the kids had become unwell and needed taking to hopsital, he may well have been over the limit? I never drink when in sole charge of the DC's. He said he didn't have a drink until they were both in bed asleep.

I didn't make a fuss at the time but it has been playing on my mind ever since and its been bothering me. AIBU?

It sounds like you were relying on him and having a much needed night out - you expected him to be sober, he wasn't. Next time agree boundaries and communicate your fears. Am sure your OH would be amenable to not drinking if it helped you feel safe and relaxed.

ILoveTIFFANY, what has that got to do with it?

I think you are being a bit U, OP. I can understand if he was rolling on the floor drunk - yes, you might worry he would stumble whilst holding DS.

Tiffany - No not breastfeeding.

Superwoman - so it's better to go out and get 'plastered' then have 2 pints and 1 vodka on a night in because, errr, you are on your own? Don't get that at ^all...

Camper.... Well 'anything' could happen

So if both parents have a glass of wine before dinner and one with dinner on Saturday that's unacceptable, as neither of us could drive after drinking in case of emergency? Surely that is unreasonable...

Oh... Sorry, I thought you were going to start ranting about drinking and bf'ing (been doing a peer supporter course and got a bit carried away )

OP do you not have a few glasses of wine with your dp at home now and again?

YABU

Lol camper, no, just thought op would need to walk round with baby etc to do drunken feeds...more of a chance of dropping baby than her DH.

if he wasn't drunk, then I'm sure he was sober enough to organise a taxi in the rare event of an emergency - YABVU

Yabu

If I didn't drink because I have my children solely on my own then I wouldn't of had a drink for the past 9 years!!
I enjoy a vodka and coke or 2 at weekends and sometimes a glass of wine or 2 during the week but I don't get 'drunk'....

YABU

We both like a drink when the kids are in bed

so whats the big deal with him having a drink when the kid is in bed?

YABU

superwomanisamyth - what on earth is wrong with having a drink in the hosue alone?

However did our parents manage?

Having a couple of drinks when in charge of kids = absolutely fine.

Being drunk when in charge of kids = not ok.

I think as long as a parent can respond quickly and sensibly to an emergency, and (with young children) can safely carry them if necessary, then that's ok. The driving thing is a complete non-issue- I don't drive, but I can call a taxi or ambulance as appropriate.

I'd also expect parents to stay sober if there was any particular reason for concern e.g. if a child had been ill or had had a nasty bump on the head. But not just an everyday night in.

I think it's unreasonable to get tipsy or more when two babies are in your care, as the demands on you are so high and could involved carrying babies up and down stairs.
Had they been older, it would be more reasonable.

Yabu

Just what DoMeDon said.

YABU.

Of course YABU.

Huge difference between having a couple of drinks over the course of the evening, and being completely bladdered and in a drunken coma.

You say he wasnt pissed, so what is the problem. If, by any rare chance, an emergency happened, he would have to call a taxi, or an ambulance if it were serious, but that is highly unlikely, isnt it.

When families go on holiday, do the parents take it in turns each night to not drink alcohol? I somehow doubt it.

I also dont see why anyone should be castigated for drinking at home alone. I do it, when I feel like it. Should I only have coffee or tea when I am sat watching tv or relaxing with a book then?

What about single parents, or people who live on their own.. should they be teetotal too?

YABU. Your DP wasn't drunk he was just having a drink and relaxing after the children were asleep in bed.

think yabu - once he's able towake if they wake, call taxi or ambulance if necessary etc - then thats fine! what are single parents supposed to do - never have glass ofwine?