To not want DP drinking when he is looking after the kids?

[CJ2010]

I had a rare evening out last Sat night with a friend and DP was left to care for the kids, both under 2 years old. I got home at about 11pm to find him drinking a vodka and coke. I then went into the kitchen and found 4 empty beer bottles (eqivalent to 2 pints I think) I dont know how many vodkas he had drunk, he didn't seem pissed, however what if one of the kids had become unwell and needed taking to hopsital, he may well have been over the limit? I never drink when in sole charge of the DC's. He said he didn't have a drink until they were both in bed asleep.

I didn't make a fuss at the time but it has been playing on my mind ever since and its been bothering me. AIBU?

What's the difference between the two of you staying in and having a couple of bevvies, and him doing it alone?!

My DH travels for work and if he's away over a weekend and I'm stuck in on baby-sitting duties on a Fri or Sat night, no way would I not console myself with a glass or three of wine.

YABU.

Not everyone can drive anyway!

I dropped my 3 week old when stone cold sober, so sobriety does not equal not dropping the baby.

YABU

YABVU. Utterly daft. If one of the kids gets ill enough to need hospitalisation (how often does that happen? ) he could either call an ambulance (as most people do) or a taxi.

I don't understand the whole thing about drinking alone (gasp!) either. It's all part and parcel of stigmatising people who enjoy their own company IMO.

Yabu.

What are the chances of having to take any of the kids to hospital???

I think you didn't like the fact he was enjoying himself. He wasn't steaming drunk, stumbling around and throwing up, so YABU.

I had a few wines last night while in charge of mine. Nothing happened!

Niether me or DP drive....yet somehow I sense we could get DD to hospital in an emergency....although friends did obsess about how on earth i would get to hospital in labour...erm a taxi....

YABU. You should not be drunk in sole charge of DC but a few drinks is fine. If 2 parents/responsible adults are present then it is ok for one to be drunk as long as the other one is not e.g. just has a couple of drinks.

If he is too drunk to make a sensible decision in an emergency, then that is unacceptable.

If he is simply over the driving limit, it is no different from a parent who cannot drive in the first place/a parent who can drive but OT happens to be out with the family car/a couple who share a bottle of wine over dinner- everyday situations which occur in most families from time to time, at least the last two

Just because lots of people do it, doesn't make it right. YANBU

Going against the trend but I do not think YABU. If I go out for a drink I would prefer DH to stay sober and if he goes out I do not drink, if we are out drinking together (very rarely) then we arrange a babysitter. The reason for this is DS1 suffers with severe croup which is a medical emergency and we need to go straight to A & E mostly safe to do by car, sometimes his symptoms require and ambulance if he stops breathing. We have no idea if an episode of croup is on its way until he wakes up in the night with it so I could not take that risk. Having worked for many years in OOH health care parents who come in smelling of alcohol or request a home visit/request patient transport as they are unable to drive due to drinking are regarded with a bit of

I think the driving thing is a bit of a red herring - lots of people only have one car or don't have one. The issue is whether 5+ drinks made him 'too drunk', i.e. incapable of properly caring for a 3 month old. I think that probably depends on all sorts of things like his weight, the number of hours he consumed it over, how used he is to drinking etc etc and so it's probably something that's difficult to judge for someone else. My DH is not a huge man and not a big drinker so I would have said something to him if he'd drunk that much tbh.

I don't think the driving thing is a red herring really, even though I don't drive. The difference between a non-driver and a mildly tipsy driver is that in an emergency the tipsy person may well choose to give it a go and misjudge the danger.

I think it depends on how drink is used in your home. We rarely drink at home. My father was an alcoholic and my mother doesn't drink and dh's father doesn't drink and his mother wouldn't have a glass of wine unless it was a special occasion. I am not comfortable with it as a rule, and while I'm happy for dh to have a few beers here while we're both here, I wouldn't want him doing it alone and I wouldn't do it myself. I appreciate that this is different in different households and I don't judge others for their responsible drinking, but I have uncomfortable memories of drunkenness as most children of alcoholics do so I would prefer that ds or any future children that we have didn't see us tipsy/less than sober.