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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel sad and a bit embarrased that my MIL's response to our 3rd pg was 'oh God no'?

77 replies

cfc · 08/11/2011 20:25

We have a 1 and 2.5 yr old and it's early days with this pgcy but Dh is excited and wanted to tell the ILs so he did tonight, we did the test only tonight.

We have a hectic but fun home life. I am a sahm and hubs earns a good wage which sees us right. We are starting an extension which will see us with the space...all in all we're fine and happy. We were kinda planning it, iyswim.

When hubs told her over Skype that we had news she just said 'oh God no' as if I'd just told her I'd got cancer.

The conversation went on in this vein until hubs said we had to go. I feel like a silly kid who's just been told off! Wtf?!

It's taken the shine of the day somewhat.

OP posts:

troisgarcons · 08/11/2011 20:27

Don't sweat the small stuff!

My fathers response to No2 was "is this one of your better ideas Lovvie???"

Bless him!

Cant remember what his response to No3 was - probably he was scrabbling for matches to light the gas oven!

mumblechum1 · 08/11/2011 20:31

Congratulations!

She'll come around, maybe she just thought there would be a bit more of a gap.

Sounds like you have it all sussed, so just let it go over your head.

AgentZigzag · 08/11/2011 20:31

CONGRATULATIONS!

She was probably thinking about the extra Chri*s and birthday presents

Like mine was, when she said 'well, we've done our share of babysitting you know' when we told her I was pregnant 10 odd years ago

But your happiness doesn't depend on what she thinks does it?

fedupofnamechanging · 08/11/2011 20:32

I think that's so rude. The only acceptable response to a pg announcement is 'congratulations', unless the parents to be tell you otherwise.

I think your mil is worried that 3 very young dc will be hard work and stressful, especially if you have building work going on, but you are adults and capable of making your own choices in life. Once your dh indicated that this is good news, she ought to have acted pleased, even if she has some personal reservations.

Original poster

cfc · 08/11/2011 20:32

Yes to having it all sussed EEK! But I've clearly lost the ability to spell, hmmm...

OP posts:

SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 08/11/2011 20:33

Congratulations! Ignore other people's issues.

pregnantpause · 08/11/2011 20:35

How rude! She should be ashamed of herself!
Congratulations.

eaglewings · 08/11/2011 20:35

Congratulations

What mi, may mean is
Gosh, I couldn't cope with 3 such young kids, and because I can't, how can my son and dil?

Her problem not yours

Stropzilla · 08/11/2011 20:36

Don't worry about it. On telling my Grandad I was expecting a second baby girl, his response was "Oh that's a pity". I mean, a boy would have completed your family. I was so angry! Sometimes people just blurt out whatever hits their brains the first without considering your feelings, I know Grandad was shocked when I challenged him on it! Couldn't understand that maybe a healthy baby was all I cared about.

whoopeecushion · 08/11/2011 20:37

She was really rude. Forget about her reaction - it's not worth your time/energy.

effingwotnots · 08/11/2011 20:37

Exactly the same response I got with ds (3rd of mine but I have 2 dsd's too). Oh and my mum threw in a "well what are you going to do with it?" for good measure

Appuskidu · 08/11/2011 20:38

How rude! That sounds very similar to some of the responses we had when announcing pregnancy number 3 (not from my parents) including-'are you keeping it?'

Ignore ignore ignore.

Congratulations :)

Stropzilla · 08/11/2011 20:41

Oh, and I forgot to mention my FIL's response when DH told him the first time I was pregnant "Are you sure it's yours?" Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Original poster

cfc · 08/11/2011 20:43

Wow! Can't believe the gall if some people!

OP posts:

AurraSing · 08/11/2011 20:44

Sime people don't think before they speak. It doesn't mean they are not happy for you, honestly.

My mil initial reaction to my first pregnancy was "why?" and "don't tell me this one was planned, too" to the second. I still don't full understand either response to be honest.

AurraSing · 08/11/2011 20:45

Congratulations, by the way.

goingmadinthecountry · 08/11/2011 20:46

Congratulations!

Happened to me with our 4th - from my mum - there was a nearly 6 year gap. Also with no 3 - he's only a year younger than no.2. Don't let them get to you.

NevilleBarnes · 08/11/2011 20:51

Don't be sad and certainly don't feel embarrassed, you are expecting a baby that you both want and can afford so that is the most important thing. Your mil sounds quite thoughtless and I can understand why you're upset. Rise above it and enjoy your pregnancy.

FWIW I had a similar situation when I got pg with my third baby, except it was my DH (who had changed his mind about conceiving but neglected to tell me or to use any contraception) but that's a whole other thread. I let it ruin my pregnancy. I felt unable to talk to DH about scans, mw appts or anything baby related and I really feel sad about that. Happily now DC3 is 6 months old and the apple of DH's eye. Possibly his favourite of the three I suspect.

Ignore your mil and concentrate on the little miracle you are creating.

Congratulations - three kids is brilliant.

Svrider · 08/11/2011 20:51

Congratulations
YANBU to be a bit ,
Yanu to be You have no reason to be your MIL however....
Just wanted to reassure you, I've got 3 children, with 2 years between each. It will be hard work but its great Fun. We also had an extension. Try not to get too upset when they fuck something major up EVERY Friday and then don't answer fone all weekend. They will be able to sort it Monday.........
Btw We had a contract with our builder that No money was payed until

Footings are done 1st installment
Roof height done 2nd installment
On completion final payment

Worked well for us

NickNacks · 08/11/2011 20:52

Congratulations!

Even though my dad congratulated us he still snuck in a 'You can't just keep having babies, you know.' (This was only our third and final)

Svrider · 08/11/2011 20:55

Yanu is yabu

AngryBadger · 08/11/2011 20:55

Congratulations!

With my first pregnancy, my MIL burst into tears because we weren't married.

When we told her about the second (we'd been married for a while by then) she had a face like thunder and was muttering darkly "I'm not surprised you know, not surprised at all". Then she added "At least it wasn't a shock, not like last time".

We get on well and she adores both children so I've no idea why she reacted like that. I'm hoping to have a third so I'm sure she'll have something interesting so say when we announce that one!

Belini · 08/11/2011 20:59

Congratulations

My mothers response to news that I was pregnant with twins was "it would be so much easier for me if you had a termination" lovely Mum thanks for the support. She does no childcare or babysitting and I wouldn't expect her to.

Enjoy your news don't let anyone make you feel anything you don't want to feel. IYSWIM

EdlessAllenPoe · 08/11/2011 20:59

three in three years! CONGRATULATIONS. !

you will have a lovely close little brood (fighting, snatching and biting aside!)

AgentZigzag · 08/11/2011 21:02

and for you having to deal with your mum spouting such shite belini.

What a horrible, horrible thing to say.

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