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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how single SAHMs survive?

68 replies

hanaka88 · 08/11/2011 15:28

Just looking into jobs that I can get between the hours of 9:30 and 2:30 mon to fri as my son has to go to a special school now. The only job I can find I'd get 2 grand a year!
I earn that in 2 months at the moment.

I know there's benefits etc but I've been on them before when I was in college and couldn't really afford to eat (just feed DS) and I'd go mad I think.

Is there some magic job I'm missing or do I just have to accept this as my life?

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celebmum · 08/11/2011 15:31

Is there anything at a school you could do? Eg dinner lady, reception, assistant etc? Then you'd only be working roughly school hours?!

Appreciate that this is probably a rubbish answer.. SorryGrin

NearlyMrsCustardsHardHat · 08/11/2011 15:34

You work full time if you can't afford to work part time. Having been a single mum that worked full time I have very little sympathy for other women in the same situation who feel they can pick and choose how they make ends meet. When you are in a better position then you can pick and choose. But if you are brassic, well, you work.

Original poster
hanaka88 · 08/11/2011 15:34

Thanks I've looked at school jobs, I was teaching then I had to drop down to teaching assistant due to my sons care needs and that's the only job I found. Lunchtime support assistant. £7 an hour, 7.5 hours a week.

I'm beyond stressed.

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Original poster
hanaka88 · 08/11/2011 15:35

Yes custards I work full time now but there's going to be no childcare if my son is in special school unfortunately.

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reallytired · 08/11/2011 15:35

Can you get any help with the childcare? If your child goes to school by taxi is there any reason they can't be dropped off / picked up from an after school club or childminder.

I suppose a lot depends on the nature of your son's special needs. Does he need one to one care?

What are your qualifications, maybe some mumnetters can suggest ideas.

Original poster
hanaka88 · 08/11/2011 15:37

He needs 1:1. I have a BA honours degree in early years education with QTS. I was hoping someone had a magic answer somewhere. I've always just worked and found childcare but there's no guarantee that I'll even get transport for DS.

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BeattieBow · 08/11/2011 15:37

can you not get childcare for your son after 2.30? Sorry not sure what his needs are, so sorry if this is a silly question.

I have to work fulltime - it isn't an option for me to have a school hours/term time job only.

celebmum · 08/11/2011 15:38

What about child minding/ child care hanna? Is that a possibility? Or private tutoring? Do you have family or friends (or DSs dad) who could help with childcare whilst you worked evenings?

NearlyMrsCustardsHardHat · 08/11/2011 15:38

Can you help the school fundraise for wrap round care or is that not avaliable in special schools?

Original poster
hanaka88 · 08/11/2011 15:40

Beattie at the moment he is at a childminders after school who is struggling to cope. He will have to leave her when in special school as it's miles away Sad I can't find anyone else who will take him on.

He has autism, sensory processing disorder, social and communication difficulties, minor visual impairment, challenging behaviour and flat feet (so he falls a lot but never feels it)

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Original poster
hanaka88 · 08/11/2011 15:40

No dad around unfortunately and no wrap around care in the school he will go to.

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Emsmaman · 08/11/2011 15:41

I was also going to suggest childminding, doesn't cost much to get licensed and with your existing qualification I'm sure there are people who would be happy to pay you to look after their kids (round our way anyway!)

altinkum · 08/11/2011 15:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NearlyMrsCustardsHardHat · 08/11/2011 15:42

Is the opportunity there to help try and put some in place? Surely you're not the only parent at the school in that position? Could you apply for a post at the school? Speak to some parents at teh school and see how they manage perhaps?

TeWihara · 08/11/2011 15:42

Is there a work-from home business you could do? eg, tutoring, ironing, painting and decorating, book-keeping, start your own pre-school?!

I don't know how much you've looked/asked around already, but some afterschools would be happy to provide a 1:1 - particularly if there was extra funding available (the SN boards would be more likely to be to help with where you could apply for funding for this)

TeWihara · 08/11/2011 15:44

Does his school not have any wrap-around care at all? I thought most did, even if it was a private company who came in to provide it. I know some specialist SN schools have the same staff as TAs in the day and afterschool.

Original poster
hanaka88 · 08/11/2011 15:44

Good idea custards. The only problem with child minding is that I'd have DS who can be extremely violent with other children in his own space.

I don't find special an offensive word really all my friends with autistic children use the term special schools so I'm not sure what else to call them.

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Original poster
hanaka88 · 08/11/2011 15:46

No I asked and they said the children have a SAHP or grandparents around to help.

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Original poster
hanaka88 · 08/11/2011 15:49

I know there is carers allowance for parents like me (he has high rate DLA both parts) but I really don't think it's enough to give DS the life he deserves. It's a constant battle between the right care and money.

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Bugsy2 · 08/11/2011 15:51

I'm a single mum. I've got 2 DCs, eldest DS is ASD. I can't keep the roof above our heads unless I work full-time, so that is what I do. I've used various different types of childcare, as DS does not cope well in after school clubs. Aupairs were probably most cost effective form of childcare & worked fairly well. They change yearly & some are better than others. I currently have a really nice local Grandma who does after-school for me each day - at a price of course.

JinxAndFluff · 08/11/2011 15:54

Just to get a better handle on your finances with the benefits available, have you tried running all your figures through one of the available on line calculators - Turn2us or the HMRC website - to check on WTC and CTC which will also be affected by your child's SNs and whatever childcare you might require and can resource once you have the finances? They may be better than you think?

Tho if you currently get £7 ph as a lunchtime support assistant, I'm guessing you're getting them already? Its just you say the last time you did get benefits you were a student?

Original poster
hanaka88 · 08/11/2011 15:54

Bugsy I never considered an aupair. Do you think they would accept a job with a child with severe behaviour problems (I know this will get better when he leaves his horrible school as it's ok at home)

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Original poster
hanaka88 · 08/11/2011 15:55

No I'm currently working full time as a teaching assistant and using a child minder.

I just found the job it looked like the only possibility at the moment.

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handbagCrab · 08/11/2011 16:01

Does your son's new school have any teaching/ ta jobs coming up? I know the special school I've worked with took on teachers with standard teaching qualifications and trained them specifically afterwards for sen.

Original poster
hanaka88 · 08/11/2011 16:03

No I've checked that would be ideal though. Although not totally sure about being in the same school as him as he's a little bit obsessive over being with me.

If I went to the job centre do you think they could help?

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