to ask if anyone else has a skinflint/tight arse friend?

[ILoatheMickeyMouseClubhouse]

Anyone?

I have a friend who is very mean with her money. She doesn't work but her husband does, and they have an ok income from what she says. But she is just so, so mean. If we go anywhere she will just sit there and sit there and wait for someone else to get her a drink, and also expects a drink to be bought for her child. There are a group of 4 of us, we met at toddler group several years ago, and we meet up fairly regularly at a soft play barn. I cannot remember the last time she bought anyone else a drink, or offered. Every time we go there she expects someone to buy for her.

Another friend of mine is also mean at times. She has a heart of gold but will for example insist on splitting a meal bill to the exact penny, or she will chase up someone who owes her 28p or something like that. She had a Body Shop party once and provided a few (non alcoholic) drinks, and a few nibbles. At the end of the evening she said "Right, so for the drinks and nibbles it works out at £1 per person then". Bearing in mind too that we had all bought extra drinks and nibbles with us too, no one turned up empty handed expecting to be fed and watered, although to be fair I think if you invite people round to your house I think you should expect to provide a bit of food and drink for your guests.

I think mean-ness is a really horrible trait to have, I'd hate someone to think of me as being mean.

I have no issue with people on a tight budget only paying for what they have. My gripe is when others take more than their fair share and expect to pay less. This friend above drinks spirits and mixers at 7 euro a pop and I drink half pints at 3 euro, She contributes the same as me and a my other frined to the kitty! The third person in our group always contributes 150% of the inital kitty as her drink is dearer and has said this quite openly in front of mean friend. But she has no shame. It has got now when we go out we all buy for ourselves.....

Nothing frustrates me more than those idiots who waste my time splitting meals to the exact penny

So if your short of money do you have to turn into a social recluse then? Why should I pay for everyone elses alcohol?

I am forced to go looking forward of course to my works Christmas lunch - I don't drink as I live quite a distance and drive. Last year my food cost me £16 and I had budgeted for 1 soft drink and a tip - yet I still had to pay £30 when it all all "divided up" - is that fair?

No so this year I will be that "idiot" (charming ) splitting the bill thanks.

I have no issue with bill splitting and think it is only fair, I would never expect someone to contribute excessively above what they have consumed and would never ask anyone to ! My issue is people freeloading!

I had a 'sort of' extremely tight arsed friend from work whom I used to meet for a drink very occasionally after I'd left.
This chap is absolutely loaded. He knows how to play the stock market, and has made stacks of cash out of it.
What put the tin lid on it for me with him was when he rang up one day and asked, 'Can I take you for lunch?'
I said I'd meet him, and when we got to the pub he went off and got himself something to eat and drink, and as far as I can remember, I was left to buy my own drink.
Sitting down, he said he remembered it was my birthday!
A couple of weeks later I sent him a Christmas card and couldn't resist putting in a note: 'It was nice meeting you last time, but can I suggest that you don't in future say to anybody 'can I take you for lunch' when what you actually mean is, 'shall we meet up one lunchtime?' I took a bit of a dim view of having to pay for myself when I thought you'd invited me out, -especially since you knew it was my birthday!'
I haven't heard from him since; I can only assume he is still in a huff about it.

not sure if this is the right place but notwithstanding MIL, I lovely soap dispensers in the bogs from Fortnum and Mason. I have been topping them up with Sainsbury's own for years - and people keep saying "the soap's so lovely MIW - I'm going to get some". They don't make them refillable any more I think

Not sure why you're so irate with my comment duckdodgers.

In your case, be assertive. If you know your share comes to approximately £20 but someone has suggested the bill should be split £30 each, then noone in their right mind should mind you pointing out you should pay less, chucking in 20 and letting that be that. If the others then can't work out how to split the extra tenner between them, then that's a pretty sad indictment of the quality of their arithmetic.

My comment about 'idiots wanting to split to the exact penny' is about the getting the calculator out brigade who sit their adding up what everyone had precisely wasting everyones time, not in cases like yours when it's blatantly unfair.

No need to be oversensitive about it.

A case in point - it wasn't a meal but a phonebill. I lived in a shared house with 4 others (one of which was the boyfriend of one of my housemates who she had moved in on the sly). Our phone bill came - £18, £10 of which was line rental.

The couple presented it to us in a house meeting, in which they got the itemised bill out and demanded everyone who had made each call.Lots of the calls were 5p (minimum charge at the time) and demanded everyone work out which calls were there's.

I was flabbergasted. It was going to take hours and for such a small amount - who gave a shit??

I slapped down a tenner and told them to sort their lives out, and if you can't see why I would be pissed off about them wasting my time, then you need to put a higher value on yours.

oh and they were the only ones that used the phone anyway!

There's splitting the bill, and then there's splitting the bill! If I was going for a meal and wasn't drinking alcohol and the bill was split at say £25 per person, I'd have a quick think of the rough amount I'd spent (£3ish for starter, £7 for main meal, couple of diet cokes, probably put in £15 or so), add a couple of pounds on to go towards the tip and put it into the kitty. I wouldn't sit down with a calculator and work it out to the exact penny and then scrabble around for exact change to make sure I didn't pay a penny over. I don't think anyone decent would mind the former, but the latter just looks odd and penny pinching IMO. Yes, but all means pay for what you have and don't subsidise others' drinking habits, but the friend I referred to in my OP really won't pay a penny over for anything.

We went to the cinema one night ages ago and she bought a bag of malteasers to eat during the film, which she kept offering to me, and I ate a few. The next day she text me "I'd say you owe around 30p for the malteasers you ate, but don't worry you can pay me when we next meet". If she didn't have other endearing qualities I would have ditched her ages ago.

Cheryl - yes exactly - and there are no pockets in a shroud. i always pay my bills etc. save a little, gamble invest a little - and the rest burns a hole in my pocket - especially around people l care about. my friend and l have a marauding round our local hostelries getting slowly pissed ladies who lunch day about once a month and we often forget whose turn it is to pay for the food etc etc and neither of us give a flying fuck tbh- we usually end up laughing about it and splitting it or asking the waiter to remember . its great and l couldnt be close friends with anybody hung up about that sort of thing tbh.

The last two ocassions when I went out for a meal with others we landed up with too much money in the pot afterwards .

Tightfistedness annoys me... used to have a friend who would come to our house most Saturdays and ALWAYS would be empty handed. He would then proceed to drink exOH's beer. He was also always the last one to take his wallet out at the end of a night out.

I am moving house tomorrow. What the fuck am I doing on MN????????????????????? EEEEEK!!!!!

My uncle is as tight as they come.

He still lives with my nan she got the house about 25 years ago as a council house, he then put in for right to buy and got it really cheap.

There are loads of petty things he does but one that sticks in my mind is my nan broke the nob on the fireplace and he went and bought a new one then handed her a bill for 70p! This is the woman who cooks and cleans for him everyday, pays for the weekly shop and enabled him to get a bargain house (fully paid off now).

Nan was rushed to A&E one night and we all had rushed out so not brought change for the drinks machine. He watched us all scrabbling round for bits of change and took a drink from us. Then a girl asked him if he could change a fiver and up he stood and pulled out a bulging money bag full to the brim with about 20.00 of coins in!

We all looked at him like this .

I worked with a colleague and we were away for business and on full expenses. He used to get the menu at the end of the night and only contribute exactly what he are and drank and conveniently forgot the tip!
And he wasn't bloody paying for it !!
Found out later that he was paid a fixed amount perday when away and had save the majority of that for a year !
Arghh!
Also when we went shopping to purchase stuff for his company paid apartment with company money , he bought curtains that were too small for his windows but insisted on buying them anyway! I asked was he going to brick up the part of the windows it didn't cover ???

My issue with meanies is that I don't expect anyone to pay or carry me, and that should work both ways!
I have a fab friend with whom I partake a few sherries ( pints of cider) each month and it doens't matter who starts or finishes the round.
My issue is that this sort of behaviour spills over in to other aspects of peoples lives and goes beyond the round of drinks or paying for meal.
My said friend above would only put washing on at night as the lekky was cheaper, wouldn't turn the heating on though he was living in Germany with a wind chill of -30!!
I don't think this is living but existing !
As madam52 said there are no pockets in shrouds and I have no issue on treating my friends when I am in a position to do so with no expectation of return.
It's just the meanies who spo0il it for everyone as what shouldbe a good night is spoiled from the start with the awareness that some one is going to try and screw you over for their share of the bill or round of drinks or share of the hotel room!

I think being tight fisted is the worst trait anyone can have, quite frankly. Its horrid because everyone notices it and talks about it. I have a friend who is totally loaded, mortgage free, drives a nice jag and wears the best gear. She never, ever tips when we go out. She never goes to the bar even though when you do shes always says "I'll get the next one" but never does. Never contributes to anyones collection at work. The list goes on.

Dont get me started on the none drinkers who still only have a small glass of wine from the mutual bottle and then proceed to order non alcholic cockails whilst the rest of us are happy with a bottle of wine amongst four people and then just leave money for their food because "they arent drinking" no, but you enjoyed the starter that no one else had.

I could go on. It makes my blood boil.

DP's aunt works in a children's centre. For an xmas present she gave our 3 week old son the free welcome pack they give to newly registered mothers.

Items were :

A bib with the childrens centre name on it
A door stop with the childrens centre name on it.

Mean and tight fisted people are annoying - but I suppose that's how wealthy people stay wealthy. One of my friends is very well off but really doesn't seem keen on actually spending anything.

When you're at a restaurant, you just shouldn't divide bills by the number of people. Everyone should pay for what they had. It's what I do with my friends, there's no awkwardness, we just look at the bill, add up what each person had and they pay it. Then everyone chucks in a bit more at the end for a tip. That way you don't get all the 'Well I had a vegetarian meal', 'I didn't have any alcohol' arguments.

The whole point about this is the dishonesty. If money is tight most people will acknowledge this and either help out or not expect too much. It's those who set out to free-load and have no conscience about doing so that make my blood boil.

We had one man at work - hi Trevor!- who actually went round a revolving door when he found himself being the first into the bar and, hence, likely to have to buy a round. In the end the other four of us drained our glasses and stared at him until he got the hint. Funnily enough he never came out with us again.

mrsmilesaway OMG his mum should give him a slap!