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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my neighbour to stop feeding my cat?

103 replies

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 06/11/2011 07:18

The situation is trivial but I'm losing patience really.

We have had our puss for over 10 years, since he was a kitten. We brought him and another cat back from Cyprus where we used to live for a while. We have lived on the same street now for 8 years to and never had a problem.

A middle aged couple 6 doors down has started letting my cat in to their house, feeding him, keeping him in overnight and not putting him out. They have bought him a bed, put a new collar on him. We have asked them to stop letting him in but they keep doing it.

They smoke in the house so we know when he's been round there coz he stinks. Last night the lady brought him to us (we thought he was in the house somewhere) and she had sprayed him with perfume!!

How can I stop them letting him in to their house and feeding him?

Tried keeping him in but he gets sad, and I think that's mean anyway. I'm assuming he's going to the house for the peace and quiet he doesn't get here, but I begrudge them keeping him in and feeding him.

Anyone had this before?

OP posts:
controlpantsandgladrags · 07/11/2011 14:13

I've been having the same problem for the last 6 months or so with my neighbours. My cat spends all his time in their house, although they do kick him out when they go to bed. He has put on a huge amount of weight despite eating nothing at home (every day I put food out for him and bin it untouched 12 hours later) which is really concerning me...as it did the vet when I took him for his booster vaccination a couple of months ago.

It really really angers me that they are getting all the benefits of having a cat without any of the responsibility. The vet has advised me that he needs some work doing to his teeth which will cost me around £250...for a cat I see for approx 10 minutes a day. Aside from the financial issue I miss him Sad

I have asked them time and time again to stop letting him into their house and to stop feeding him. Initially they apologised and promised to stop, now they just deny it...despite the fact that I see them open the door for him and usher him inside every day! I guess the only solution would be to keep him inside but he would hate that. He's got the best of both worlds and his having a whale of a time!

Original poster
BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 07/11/2011 17:26

Just been round to collect my own cat! Its so frustrating. I've told them if I suspect he is in their house again I'm going to call the police. Had enough now.

OP posts:
BendyBob · 07/11/2011 17:46

Good for you! What did they say when you said that to them? Do you think they got the message?

ditavonteesed · 07/11/2011 17:49

well done, i also got my cat back again, with a lecture about not keeping them in Angry

Confuzzeled · 07/11/2011 17:55

Good, it's bloody ridiculous what they're doing. Selfish, thieving, ignorant people.

My old cat was being fed by the people who worked in the charity shop across the square from my flat. I asked them to stop, mainly because he was coming home and throwing up.

They told me they'd named him Oscar and they were buying a packet of bacon for him every day. In the end I had to contact the charity head office as they wouldn't stop.

Saying they'll let him in if he's meowing outside is frankly idiotic. I'd tell them if thats their attitude then you'll go tell all the local homeless people they just need to moan outside their door to get fed. (Not that that's ever going to be a reality but it might scare them).

nailak · 07/11/2011 17:59

my mums cats came home with a note in his collar one day, saying "please feed your cat, i do not think it is fair that i have to keep feeding your cat"!! lol, and a phone number.

this is a cat that regularly eats prawns bought espescially for him, and is much loved and fussed over.

my mum phoned up and said " can you please stop feeding my cat"

TheOriginalFAB · 07/11/2011 18:28

TheFrogs - can't you go and catnap your cat back and keep her in until she remembers she lives with you?

FruStefanLindman · 07/11/2011 18:41

What did your mad neighbours say about that, BoysBoysBoysAndMe? They should be utterly ashamed of their cat-napping antics.

I still don't understand why people do this.

We think our neighbour's uber-sociable and nosy cats are amusingly entertaining - but we wouldn't allow them to stay in our house, nor are we bonkers enough to feed them, and they certainly get shoo'd out after a short period of time.

JamieComeHome · 07/11/2011 18:45

This happened to me when I was a child, and my MIL does it. She tells herself the cats she lures away are being neglected (they live in another country - a rural area where cats aren't chipped or given collars and are much more "outdoor" cats). She even lured 2 kittens ......

JamieComeHome · 07/11/2011 18:47

It's almost like a mild form of metal illness - this compulsion to steal cats and delude yourself into believing they are strays despite all the evidence.

I was distraught when it happened to me as a child, and angry my parents weren't more assertive about it

JamieComeHome · 07/11/2011 18:48

mental illness

valiumredhead · 07/11/2011 18:48

Not trivial at ALL Shock

I would go and tell them if they continue you will have to notify the police as they are stealing your cat - massive over reaction probably but I would be FURIOUS! ( Not actually sure the police would do anything but ykwim?)

TheFrogs · 07/11/2011 19:37

It would be difficult Fab as I have three other cats who use the catflap, and what with the kids forgetting to shut doors etc...well you can imagine. Then as soon as she did go out, stupid neighbour would start feeding her again anyway Sad

JamieComeHome · 07/11/2011 19:40

AFAIK cats aren't owned by anyone like dogs are. I doubt the police would be interested. If it happened to me I'd be tempted to wave a vet's bill in front of the thieving wankers

BubbleBobble · 07/11/2011 21:46

It boils my piss reading some of the posts on here. How DARE people do this?! You don't feed a cat if it doesn't belong to you, you don't keep them in and you especially don't lie if the owner catches you out!

What did the neighbours say, BoysBoysBoysAndMe?

CustardCake · 07/11/2011 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BubbleBobble · 07/11/2011 22:40

If cats aren't 'owned' JamieComeHome, you might want to tell the police and the courts they made a mistake charging and sentencing Christine Hemming...

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-15494512

Just saying', like. Grin

JamieComeHome · 07/11/2011 22:58

Custard - er I wasn't saying that. Read my posts before getting all snitty.

Bubble - fair point

JamieComeHome · 07/11/2011 23:02

interesting post 6 down here

sorry for snittyiness above Custard

CustardCake · 08/11/2011 07:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kladdkaka · 09/11/2011 19:01

I used to get so angry at the woman over the back feeding my poor old manky cat milk. Yes he looked half starved. But he was very old and he wasn't eating much at all. The vet gave us special food that is more concentrated than normal food so he only had to have one spoonful of it a day. But he wouldn't eat it because his shrunken stomach was full of bloody milk. Milk which didn't give him the nutrients he needed. So instead we had to use a syringe to squirt the food directly down his throat. A very distressing process for the cat and for us. He lived 16 happy years but spent his last few weeks imprisoned and miserable because the old bat wouldn't do what she was told.

TheNoodlesIncident · 09/11/2011 21:45

I used to work as a helper for a woman who did this - she was an impulsive animal collector, with 26 cats plus kittens. In the house. And not all were litter-trained.

She was convinced she could offer the cats a better home than they had, but also assumed every cat she saw was a stray in need of a home. I once had to persuade her, with difficulty, that the cat sheltering by a wall was a much loved pet and no, she must not stop the car and just take it. She was very reluctant to leave it and I really had my work cut out to make her drive off and leave it be.

It really opened my eyes as to where all those cats had come from. I had thought (as an innocent teenager) that they must have come from cats' homes or people not wanting their pet any more. She definitely had mental health issues and I did feel sorry for her, but I felt more sorry for those cats and their poor owners, wondering what had happened to their cat and possibly imagining them run over. Angry

FruStefanLindman · 13/11/2011 15:30

Today I saw one of my best friends who insists on encouraging one of her neighbour's cats into her house - I posted about this up-thread and said I was going to 'have words' with her about their 'encouraging' attitude. SO I DID Grin

The conversation went something like this (between me, her and her DP)

BF : The cat came in last night between 11pm and midnight.
Me : Why did you let it in? Why don't you get your own cat?
BF's DP : We don't need to, we've already got one that visits us.
Me : But it's not your cat, it belongs to someone else.
BF's DP : One's enough.
Me : But that cat belongs to one of your neighbours - it's not yours.
BF : But it sits outside the window wanting to come in.
Me : So? Why on earth are you letting it in? It lives somewhere else? It's not starving. It's owned by one of your neighbours. And, BTW, even if you're not feeding it, are you giving it milk?
BF : Yes.
Me : Did you not get what I said to you a few weeks ago that many cats have a lactose intolerance? Milk can either give them the squits or make them throw up.
BF : Oh ... I didn't know
BF's DP : We couldn't have a cat flap in our back doors/windows.
Me : What's that got to do with anything?

Aaaarrrrghhh.

brighthair · 13/11/2011 15:47

I wouldn't dream of feeding someone else's cat! I do stop and fuss the neighbours cat mainly because she looks at me pleadingly and trips me over Grin
The only one I have enticed in the house was a small kitten wandering in the road. I brought him in my garden next to the pavement as the boy racers were about and he was so tiny Sad no collar either. I let him out about 20 mins later when they had gone

Anniegetyourgun · 13/11/2011 16:00

Too true about the poor starved cat impersonation. One of ours does an amazing wail that would convince anyone that he hadn't had a square meal in a week, unless they looked down and saw the two dishes of catfood, two dishes of cat biscuits, one dish of water and one of lactose-reduced milk which he is happily ignoring in hopes that someone will give him a piece of ham from the fridge. He too gets the squits with ordinary milk so we give him a measured daily dose of the special cat stuff. And the vet says that we should be very sparing with ham because the salt in it is very bad for them.

So these people who've convinced themselves they are saving some poor cat that doesn't belong to them, are in all probability shortening its life. Especially the silly old biddies handing out pounds of bacon.