Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's not a big deal if I still live at home

65 replies

MilkNoSugarPlease · 05/11/2011 20:07

I'm 23, live in London (therefore bloody expensive) and still live at home

I work full time and pay £350pm rent....I realise I am VERY lucky with that amount! And have no problem paying it

If I moved out, I'd pay a fortune to rent a tiny flat, then have tons of bills etc....financially it makes sense to stay at home for a few more years

But I get so many comments from people telling me I should move out as its ridiculous me being at home

Should I be moving out?!

OP posts:
Psammead · 05/11/2011 20:09

At 23? I don't think it's ridiculous.

If you want to move out, you could look into a house share or something. But if you want to stay with your parents that's your decision!

troisgarcons · 05/11/2011 20:09

No, so long as you are toilet trained, load the dishwasher, and can find the laundry basket and washing machine plus chip in with the odd meal or so.

I would be peed off, as a parent, if my house were treated like a hotel and I was expeted to do a maid and laundry service plus doing a Nigella every night!

Pascha · 05/11/2011 20:10

Goodness No! You are very lucky and know it. Make the most of it while the option is available to you. My sister lives in east london and lodges with a family, she is 37 and single. Will never ever be able to afford her own place unless she moves away from london. If you are happy and your family are happy then brilliant.

BiscuitNibbler · 05/11/2011 20:10

Personally I think you should, not only to get some true independence but also to give your parents a break.

shineynewthings · 05/11/2011 20:10

But what about boyfriends or girlfriends?

mankymink · 05/11/2011 20:12

In these hard economic times I wouldn't exactly call your situation "ridiculous", as jealous as I am Grin

Good for you if you have a workable setup with your parents, it's sounds really sensible. After all it's not as if you're not contributing anything.

hellhasnofury · 05/11/2011 20:13

My 21 year old still lives at home (rent free as she's just started uni and is supporting herself through her degree). She pulls her weight with household chores as does 19 year old DS who does pay rent as he works FT. I suspect they'll be here for a few years yet, I have no problem with it. I think I might leave home before they do.

thefurryone · 05/11/2011 20:13

As long as your parents are happy with this arrangement then YANBU. Just watch you don't get to the same stage as that Italian guy who's parents needed a court order to remove him from their house.

slavetofilofax · 05/11/2011 20:13

I think you should have a plan to move out at least. At 23, it's not too bad, but you should be living with the cheap rent so that you can save for a deposit on somewhere or build up savings for another reason.

By the time you get to 25 and above, there is something wrong with still living with parents.

lelainapierce · 05/11/2011 20:14

350! Thats more than my mortgage! Move into your own place outside london. Enjoy your youth fgs, it doesnt last long!

troisgarcons · 05/11/2011 20:14

One of my collegues is divorced, in her 60's and has 3 boys, all mid 30's, none of whole has ever married. They have varying degrees of relationships, but she usually has one of them living with her "between jobs/relationships" etc. Plus they never seem to pay their way.

I think, if I were her, I'd be selling up and moving to a one bed flat!

In seriousness, 23 is no age really. If your parents dont mind, and you arent all tripping over each other then it isnt a problem.

O/T this convo wouldnt even arise if you were asian or West African - it would be totally normal to have the whole extended family living under one roof.

springydaffs · 05/11/2011 20:14

I think you've got your head screwed on the right way and if I could live with my parents I would in a heartbeat! what's not to like? You live in a lovely, warm house, everything runs like clockwork etc - wonderful. Mind you I left home when I was 16 couldn't stand another minute but that's my experience, not everybody is the same. I assume your parents are happy with it so what's the problem?

NinkyNonker · 05/11/2011 20:15

At 23 that's all ok, but tbh I would want to move out. Independence, life skills etc...not to mention late nights and overnight 'guests'!

Original poster
MilkNoSugarPlease · 05/11/2011 20:16

I cook, clean, am relatively toilet trained :o , do washing, cleaning etc

I pretty much rent a room in my parents house...

OP posts:
Original poster
MilkNoSugarPlease · 05/11/2011 20:19

Overnight guests have never been a problem!

I am saving as much as I can...ideally I'd like to leave here and be able to put a deposit on a flat rather then rent

Parents are fine with it

OP posts:
Original poster
MilkNoSugarPlease · 05/11/2011 20:19

And I pretty much come and go as I please

OP posts:
yellowraincoat · 05/11/2011 20:21

I can understand wanting to save money, but wouldn't you like to see what it's like to really be independent? I am 28 and I could NOT live with my parents.

WhoWhoWhoWho · 05/11/2011 20:22

What are the differences in paying your parents £350 a month, and say, living in a houseshare? (Just curious really, I live 'up north' and rent here is cheap compared to London).

Are your parents both happy with you still being at home?

ratspeaker · 05/11/2011 20:22

I don't think its a problem if you are happy and the family are happy

My DD1 has come back to live with us a she's now a student
She cant afford to study and work to pay the going rate for a room in Edinburgh

DS 1 also still lives here but is moving out soon to share with a pal ( but he's made sure he can come back if it doesn't work out )

RandomMess · 05/11/2011 20:24

Houseshare could easily be more than £350 per month PLUS share of bills - I kid you not!

Original poster
MilkNoSugarPlease · 05/11/2011 20:27

Sorry, £250pm !

Lack of proofreading

Even flat shares aren't cheap here abstract I want to stay in London as its where I work and I love it!
If I moved out, I certainly wouldn't be able to save AND go out and enjoy myself

OP posts:
Original poster
MilkNoSugarPlease · 05/11/2011 20:28

It's £250 plus I chip in for shopping, buy all my own clothes/products etc plu

OP posts:
Undertone · 05/11/2011 20:31

I moved out for uni, and when that was over I went straight to renting in London. Did that for 5 years. Then the rental market in London went CRAZY and the little studio I was renting in zone 3 went from £550pcm to £675pcm. That would be more than the mortgage would be for a par property.

Something snapped. I asked my parents if it would be OK to move back in with them for a while. They were delighted (a bit lonely?) so now I live out in the sticks, commute 1.5 hours each way to work in London, and becaue mum lets me pay just £150pcm to cover food I'm managing to save £1,000pcm into an account which, I hope, will enable me to put down a 10% deposit on a teeny £110k flat in London by April next year, with a bit left over for furniture.

It's not a total hoot - overnight guests would be frowned upon (even though I'm 28), and saving more than 50% of my net income each month means I'm not going clothes shopping any time soon... but it feels good to be able to ask mum and dad for help like this. I hope they don't think I'm being a freeloader. Well. Mum insists on doing my laundry so maybe I AM taking the piss a bit Blush fucking ace, mind.

ScarfOfSexualPreference · 05/11/2011 20:32

I lived at home till I was 25, no way I could have afforded to move out. I was a nursery nurse so was on minimum wage (its pretty much the norm where I'm from), and had to run a car to be able to get to work. Plus there's not so much house-sharing that I could see around the Newquay area. The only way I could move out was to get a higher-paying job, the only way I could get one was to move away! So I moved to the London area and although I don't have much of a difference between what I earn and living costs at least I'm happy and independant!

My youngest sister, 22, lives at home and moved her boyfriend in two years back. They pay £90 each a month! Other sister, 27, just moved back in as she is going to college on an access couse and saving for her degree. Also pays £90/month. I'd really hate to still be there, 5 adults and one bathroom! Its pretty bad at Christmas and summer hols when I go home but there's no way my parents would let me get a hotel. My mum really, really wants me to move back- would mean me giving up my career entirely (am a nanny, not much call for it in Cornwall!) and sleeping in the living room but thats what she wants. I'm sure there are plenty of parents who can't wait to see the back of their adult kids but there are plenty like mine who think the more the merrier!

troisgarcons · 05/11/2011 20:34

I dont know why people always think you should leave home, hand over your wages, live in penury eating cold baked beans - just so you can be independent. Cold. Miserable. Lonely.

Rental prices in the south are ridiculously astronomical and the reality is wages arent that big in comparison to the rest of the country. Marginally betterbut the streets aren't paved with gold, depite Dick Wittington believing so.