To think it's not a big deal if I still live at home

[MilkNoSugarPlease]

I'm 23, live in London (therefore bloody expensive) and still live at home

I work full time and pay £350pm rent....I realise I am VERY lucky with that amount! And have no problem paying it

If I moved out, I'd pay a fortune to rent a tiny flat, then have tons of bills etc....financially it makes sense to stay at home for a few more years

But I get so many comments from people telling me I should move out as its ridiculous me being at home

Should I be moving out?!

Tell em to mind their own business milk.

My boys respite carer still lives with her parents along with her 13 year old son, it seems to work for them, the house is huge and they get along well.

She is 35 tho and we live in cheapy Cumbria but it's still no bugger elses business.

YANBU

The 'have to move out even if you can barely live and if you don't your a saddo' mentality is a very British thing. As long as you have reasonable parents and everyone is happy with the situation then I see no problem. And London is pretty expensive as well.

YANBU. I went to uni, stayed moved out for about 4-5 years after that and then went home for 18 months before buying my own place.

If it works for you then carry on!

Am I the only person who is a bit at Scarf's parents, encouraging their adult children to move back home with mummy and daddy? Surely your job as a parent is to get your children to grow into independent adults, not to keep them in the nest with you forever?

If she's paying something in rent (she seems to be paying enough for it not to be a token but not too much to make it financially nonsensical) provided she's actually using the opportunity to save for her future it isn't encouraging her to be dependant. Its giving her the opportunity to have a better long term future.

I know loads of people who don't leave home til their mid 20s. if you don't go to uni (or even if you do, sometimes), it's v unlikely that you'll earn enough for your own place, and there can be worse people than your parents to share with.

i think it's harder if you've been to uni, where you can have a v independent life, then try to move back in.

your arrangement sounds fine to me, specially as they appear to respect your independence.

otoh, one of my cousins is in her 50s - her mum still cooks tea & helps her to wash her hair. We all think it a little odd.

If you are using all your excess income to buy handbags and shoes then you are being a bit silly...

Milk, you didn't tell me you'd had Eric round yours!

I think it's nice both parties are happy with the arrangement. I didnt have the best childhood and was fierely independent so moved out into the Big Bad World at 17. Taught me a lot but looking back even I can see I wasn't mature or supported enough to cope.

Now I'm a parent I hope my boys lead a far more sheltered family life than I did and that we have the kind of relationship and home they can stand to still be around when they reach your age!

Where I'm from many young people stay at home in their 20's. Even when they go to Uni many go to one of the several Uni's nearby and still live at home. They do have a very parochial outlook though and many if them never move more than a mile or 2 away from where their family home was.

Most people I know were at home until 25 on average. I think this is quite normal. We all paid rent to our parents but had an idea of how we would move out in near future, whether into houseshares or own home etc

Friend of mine is 31 like me. No intention of moving out at all, very involved in family life, eg. goes to Tesco with parents weekly to get the food shop, her mum washes her hair for her and puts a hot water bottle in her bed each evening. I do find this very odd. We were close once but don't see much of each other now as I can't get my head round how she hasn't 'grown up' yet. I have my own family now and she gets annoyed if I can't come out due to no money/babysitter etc.
I feel sorry for her parents, I think they'd like their home back now tbh. Her younger brother moved out years ago.

YANBU, I know somebody in their early forties who still lies with her parents (parents are incredibly independent and able btw), she has been doing a Ph.D. since the year dot and pleads poverty.

I think her parents have given up now. If you talk to her, she'll dole out all sorts of life skill advice, she knows bluddy eery thing.

Yer right (rolls eyes).

23 is no age. Don't hang in there for ever though.

YANBU! As long as your arrangement works for you and your parents, screw what anyone else thinks! And I speak as a 26 year old due to give birth in March who has ZERO intention of leaving home anytime soon! It's always just been me and mum so baby will make three :)

It's an arrangement that works for us inspite of what others might think.

YANBU. Each to their own.

I am 27 and married and my parents still don't want to believe I'm never coming back!

YANBU. The rental prices in London are ridiculous. I grew up in London too and I think it's more common for young people to continue to live with their parents there, I'm 34 and a lot of my friends do. I moved out when I was 20, but only because I was a single parent and got a council flat.

Most people I know who have moved out are either still flatsharing, or have bought a place because they've started a family (but have had to move quite far from the centre), have a council/HA flat or a shared ownership flat which they can only get due to being a teacher/nurse.