to severely limit xmas gifts and give the money to charity instead?

[joshandjamie]

I know when I was a child, I loved seeing a big pile of presents under the tree. And didn't really even care what was in them - it was just seeing them and wanting to rip them open that was the exciting bit. So I don't want to deprive my kids of that.

BUT they have plenty of toys, plenty of books, plenty of games, enough clothes - they literally don't need anything else. Sure the 6 year old wants an ipad (that's not going to happen) and the 7 year old wants a kitten (that may happen) but other than that, they don't want or need anything.

Similarly, while I'd love new clothes, jewellery and almost all of Lakeland, I don't NEED those things.

And I've gotten to the point of seriously not wanting to buy stuff for the sake of it. Money aside, I just don't want more stuff in the house.

I'm really not trying to be super virtuous or saintlike, but I'd really far rather take the money we might spend on presents and go to one of those charity sites where you can buy a family mosquito nets or a water purifier or something. I've even run the idea past my kids and they're up for it. But I don't think they've thought through what that really means on Christmas morning.

I'm thinking I could get away with some small stocking filler presents and some token 'joke' presents for the rest of the family coming to stay (plus my home made things that I shall force upon them and which they will take with gritted teeth).

But is that being unreasonable? I know kids elsewhere get very little but we live in a western society where kids kind of expect stuff. While I'm sure they'll learn a nice lesson about giving to others - that's less my intention. I just don't want more crap in my house! But I also don't want them to be disappointed on Christmas morning.

Should I do it?

YABU considering buying a pet as a christmas present. That is all.

Another thought OP - is there a zoo or animal sanctuary near you? If your children like animals perhaps you could adopt them one. Then take them to visit their sponsored animal - that way they can have a fun day out and get to see what their present is really doing. Maybe get them each a cuddly version of the animal you choose so they have a constant reminder of what they've done.

Saw on another thread that refuge have a 'list' at John Lewis, maybe the DCs could choose something on there?

We did a charity shop only for adults Christmas once- it was brilliant. We all got lovely presents.

Don't expect children to be happy with feeling charitable and virtuous unless your last name is March.

Even better, volunteer at a different time of year, when not everyone else has the same idea. Certainly soup kitchens can suddenly be overrun with willing volunteers who suddenly decide to offer help at Christmas.

"why not volunteer on xmas eve\day at a homeless or women's shelter"

The op wants to do something nice - give money to a charity. It seems like everyone is very critical of this?!

So we should not donate to charity then?

Not critical of giving to charity, critical of doing at the expense of her children and feeling the need to make her giving public. She could for example just give homemade presents to adult family and just give something to charity without telling them - it makes no difference to the gift recipients!