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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be completely shocked and disgusted at the leaflet I've just been given by my mw???

999 replies

mummylovesnancy · 04/11/2011 08:32

This leaflet, titled 'Raised BMI in Pregnancy' was passed on to me by my midwife at my booking in appointment yesterday. Along with the words 'You can't have a home birth, you probably won't deliver naturally and you'll be given consultant led care.'
I'm 28, I have 2 PERFECTLY healthy children who both have perfect height to weight ratios, eat well, are active and are generally normal children. I weigh 13st and I'm 5'2 which puts me in the 'obese' catagory according to the good ol' BMI index of wonder. I have been roughly this weight and exactly this height for all of my adult life. I am overweight, I accept that, but what I don't accept is being told to read this sodding leaflet which tells me, among various other little pearlers, that:
*I will have raised blood pressure. (Not 'I may', 'I WILL')
*I will be prone to urinary tract infections. (never had one in my life!)
*'Bigger Ladies' (exact wordage) get more blood clots. (Dumb Fuck)
*Examinations will be difficult. (Why? Because you have to part all my layers of fat to get to my vag?! How fucking degrading)
*I will have restricted mobilisation. (Will I? Because I don't now, will it automatically come with being fat and preggers?)
*Putting in a drip will be difficult. (yeah because my hands are so freaking chubby.)
*Breastfeeding will be challenging (I've managed it with two babies, now because you've changed your guidelines I think I might struggle.)
And my favourite one yet:
*The risk of stillbirth or your baby dying in the first 28 days is increased in 'larger ladies' (Thanks for that one, nhs, I just had a misscarriage 8 weeks ago. Was it because I'm fat?)

It also mentions on about 7 occasions that I may want an epidural. Is that to keep me quiet?! It also offers to refer me to a dietician and a counsellor.

I have been overweight (or a larger or bigger lady, as the nhs prefers) and given birth naturally twice with absolutely no complications and one of them was a home birth. I can't believe I have to read all this shit. The idiot who wrote this doesn't even know how to place an apostrophe or comma ffs!

Does anyone agree with me that this is a disgusting, degrading, scare mongering piece of shit or am I being an unreasonable pregnant wreck??

OP posts:
hairylights · 05/11/2011 14:27

Hey, I've never said losing weight or staying a healthy weight was easy Confused. Losing 2st was one of the hardest things I've ever done - it took a lot of effort, will power and time. And I had to be in the right frame of mind.

ditziness · 05/11/2011 14:34

I never said that every slim person finds it easy. I said " just because it is simple, logical or possible" for you deliberately as only three things it might be. In reality there's far more than that on a spectrum that ranges from easy to genuinely impossible. We're all different and we all have different physiological and oyschological make ups. Why on earth should we all find our relationships with food and weight the same?

thunderboltsandlightning · 05/11/2011 14:34

"To eat a whole pack (ever) is either i) greedy or ii) a sign of an unhealthy relationship with food"

Or (c) I like Jaffa Cakes.

It's weird being told that I don't get it when a) I've never had an eating disorder b) never dieted and c) have never been overweight. Some people aren't getting it, but it's not me.

It's very simple - people need to eat healthily and exercise. And eating healthily doesn't mean going on some crazy low fat health kick, it means respecting food, including fats, including carbohydrates, including proteins and including its calories (if food didn't give us engergy we'd all be dead) and appreciating what it and its nutrients can do for your body.

Until the focus comes off weight and instead gets put on to nutrition and exercise nothing will change. But people will be able to despise fat people, so maybe it's worth things staying the same.

OriginalPoster · 05/11/2011 14:34

I definitely think obesity is a mental health problem. I think it's ridiculous to think it isn't.

What would you say are the causes?
Why is the incidence rising?
Risk factors?
Symptoms?
Signs?
Treatments?
Prognosis?

What should health care professionals be doing about it? It's hard not to end up in the territory of dietary advice, exercise and management or avoidance of obesity related conditions.

TheQueenOfDeDead · 05/11/2011 14:37

ditziness no one has been nasty Hmm

People have expressed astonishment at the frankly ludicrous claims that being obese is healthy. It isn't. It is not helpful to pretend otherwise.

The same would apply to many other illnesses. I wouldn't pretend to someone suffering from emphasema that it was OK to continue to smoke. I wouldn't pretend to someone with bad excema that continued use of biological washing powders and heavily perfumed lotions was without risk etc etc.

Identifying the risks associated with being obese is not people being mean it is fact. You can't shy away from those facts just because they are unpalletable.

kerrymumbles · 05/11/2011 14:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thunderboltsandlightning · 05/11/2011 14:41

And that's the healthy attitude to food Kerry.

Of course this lot would admire your slim skittle eating self for how much more healthy it supposedly was than your larger gym-going non-skittle eating self.

Lookattheears · 05/11/2011 14:42

I was on another thread recently where people were asked how often their children had sweets and crisps.

A large number of people said their children had sweets and or crisps every day. They then said that were slim etc etc.

No one seemed able to see that this is setting a habit of poor eating. That eating sweets and crisps every day is not eating junk in moderation and that it is precisely this kind of eating pattern that leads to adults being fat.

Of course a five year old will be slim if he eats crisps and sweets every day because at that age it's burnt off. However, you cannot see inside their bodies at the heart and arteries. And if you eat like that at forty, you're quite likely to be overweight.

Good habits in childhood can last a lifetime. As can bad.

TheQueenOfDeDead · 05/11/2011 14:43

thunder i think you are the only person who has talked of crazy low fat health kicks. Most posters have simply referred to losing weight or going on a diet which could encompass a wide range of behaviour.

I do find it interesting that you refuse to acknowledge that deliberately losing weight can ever be healthy

TheRealTillyMinto · 05/11/2011 14:43

Or (c) I like Jaffa Cakes.

i like Jaffa cakes. it doesnt means i need to eat a whole packet.

i dont see how you can enjoy the taste after 10 - i think you just shove them in your mouth.

thunderboltsandlightning · 05/11/2011 14:47

Ooh, I missed this one:

"To present the ability to eat a whole packet as a sign of being liberated from the tyranny of 'fat hatred' is a sign of being in denial, I would say."

I didn't say that. What I said was that I didn't experience the self-loathing, self hatred or whatever else you're supposed to suffer from if you indulge yourself. People want you to feel ashamed for enjoying eating and eating what you want. It's been seen here with the disapproval because "OMG someone ate a whole packet of biscuits".

What is it you think I'm in denial about?

hairylights · 05/11/2011 14:49

Has anyone here advocated going on a "crazy low fat health kick". I see RC has been mentioned twice but the majority here are talking about eating a healthy, balanced diet. eating fruit salad (yum) instead of tiramisu is not a "crazy low fat health kick". It's a
Sensible food choice.

Lookattheears · 05/11/2011 14:49

There are more obese people now because food is cheap, plentiful and easy to get hold of.

Not because we are suddenly a nation of people with mental health issues that cause us to get fat.

hairylights · 05/11/2011 14:49

Has anyone here advocated going on a "crazy low fat health kick". I see RC has been mentioned twice but the majority here are talking about eating a healthy, balanced diet. eating fruit salad (yum) instead of tiramisu is not a "crazy low fat health kick". It's a
Sensible food choice.

thunderboltsandlightning · 05/11/2011 14:50

No actually Tilly I enjoyed them. It was something I wanted to do and I did it. I don't feel the need to do it again but I'm still glad I did.

It's very entertaining to watch the attempts at shaming here. People really can't get to the point where it's possible to believe that food can be enjoyed, and isn't an enemy - even a whole packet of Jaffa cakes.

Lookattheears · 05/11/2011 14:52

What utter tommyrot.

I've just scarfed down two bowls of home made soup and rolls with thick butter on them then a slice of home made vicky sandwich. I adore my food but i eat healthily, i eat in moderation and I am extremely fit and active.

thunderboltsandlightning · 05/11/2011 14:54

Actually Custard you said that healthy food choices were generally low fat. That's not true. Fats are an extremely important part of our diets.

OriginalPoster · 05/11/2011 14:54

What is RC? I'm thinking raw carrots...Confused

Thunder
so eating 2 Jaffa cakes does not count as indulging? I am eating as many as I want, which is two.

thunderboltsandlightning · 05/11/2011 14:55

Oops that was addressed to Hairy, but Custard did say it.

TheQueenOfDeDead · 05/11/2011 14:56

hairy you might as well talk to yourself. Thunder is picking and chosing what she responds to and is refusing to engage with anyone who actually challenges her warped views, and making things up when she can't find an appropriate comment to suit her agenda.

I'm off to enjoy a cold glass of wine or two and some nibbles in my neighbours garden. Since I will go for a run tomorrow to counteract this I am clearly a sad individual partaking in crazy yo yo dieting behaviour and desperately self loathing and hate filled. Yawn.

I actually feel pretty good about myself -but I guess that doesn't fit certain agendas

Night all

thunderboltsandlightning · 05/11/2011 14:56

Sorry Original Poster, how do you get that from what I said? It doesn't follow at all.

OriginalPoster · 05/11/2011 14:58

Just that 'indulging yourself' means different things to different people. For me if someone asked how I indulged myself, food might not come in my top 5.

hairylights · 05/11/2011 14:59

You nutter queen you must really hate yourself you obsessive head case Grin

thunderboltsandlightning · 05/11/2011 14:59

I thought you just didn't like fat people TQOTD. I have no idea how you feel about yourself.

And I just answered Hairy so I don't know why you're telling her she's talking to herself.

This isn't all about you funnily enough. 40% of British women are on a diet at any one time. Many people in this country are not eating healthily or taking enough exercise. That needs to be dealt with - not this fat shaming that goes on at the moment. Its' a very easy and I don't understand why you are so resistant to the idea.

TheRealTillyMinto · 05/11/2011 15:01

It's very entertaining to watch the attempts at shaming here

i dont think anyone is trying to shame you, but you chose the word and i think it say a lot more about how actually feel.