to be completely shocked and disgusted at the leaflet I've just been given by my mw???

[mummylovesnancy]

This leaflet, titled 'Raised BMI in Pregnancy' was passed on to me by my midwife at my booking in appointment yesterday. Along with the words 'You can't have a home birth, you probably won't deliver naturally and you'll be given consultant led care.'
I'm 28, I have 2 PERFECTLY healthy children who both have perfect height to weight ratios, eat well, are active and are generally normal children. I weigh 13st and I'm 5'2 which puts me in the 'obese' catagory according to the good ol' BMI index of wonder. I have been roughly this weight and exactly this height for all of my adult life. I am overweight, I accept that, but what I don't accept is being told to read this sodding leaflet which tells me, among various other little pearlers, that:
*I will have raised blood pressure. (Not 'I may', 'I WILL')
*I will be prone to urinary tract infections. (never had one in my life!)
*'Bigger Ladies' (exact wordage) get more blood clots. (Dumb Fuck)
*Examinations will be difficult. (Why? Because you have to part all my layers of fat to get to my vag?! How fucking degrading)
*I will have restricted mobilisation. (Will I? Because I don't now, will it automatically come with being fat and preggers?)
*Putting in a drip will be difficult. (yeah because my hands are so freaking chubby.)
*Breastfeeding will be challenging (I've managed it with two babies, now because you've changed your guidelines I think I might struggle.)
And my favourite one yet:
*The risk of stillbirth or your baby dying in the first 28 days is increased in 'larger ladies' (Thanks for that one, nhs, I just had a misscarriage 8 weeks ago. Was it because I'm fat?)

It also mentions on about 7 occasions that I may want an epidural. Is that to keep me quiet?! It also offers to refer me to a dietician and a counsellor.

I have been overweight (or a larger or bigger lady, as the nhs prefers) and given birth naturally twice with absolutely no complications and one of them was a home birth. I can't believe I have to read all this shit. The idiot who wrote this doesn't even know how to place an apostrophe or comma ffs!

Does anyone agree with me that this is a disgusting, degrading, scare mongering piece of shit or am I being an unreasonable pregnant wreck??

This is going off topic, but it never fails to amaze me how little people know about portion sizes or healthy eating. The recommended daily portion size for steak is 3oz. Yet at a restaurant you can't get less than 6oz. In most places its 8oz at least. No wonder so many people think they are eating ok.

We are also taught to clean our plates in the UK rather than stop eating when full. Most people will happily eat an 8oz steak and not think twice about it. Not to mention that our 'full' feeling is delayed doesn't always kick in straight away. I've seen a really good recommendation in the past that if you eat and still feel hungry, drink a glass of water and wait 20 minutes. It works, and its amazing how you don't still feel as hungry after.

Calorie controlling and knowing correct portion sizing IS part of healthy eating. They are not mutually exclusive. It isn;t about being obsessive, its about actually having a proper understanding of food if its done correctly. Sadly most diets don't teach the right things, and the right way to think about calories.

Jeremy, I was countering the suggestion that calorie-controlled eating is healthy.
I know that eating healthily, when hungry and stopping when full results in weight loss as that's the reason I put nothing on this pregnancy.

If people think calorie counting is healthy, which they do apparently, then people may think that calorie counting is appropriate for obese pregnant women.
Being clear is not being picky.

But what is wrong with being aware of the calorie content of food to try to maintain a healthy weight? Not everyone goes to the extremes of yo yo dieting. I for one love to read the calorie content of things, it doesn't always mean that I won't eat them anyway, but since discovering that a crappy digestive biscuit has over 80 calories I steer clear, just not worth it .

YABU. I'm only an inch taller and the same weight. I'm overweight/obese and it carries certain health risks. If you don't like hearing that, lose weight.

I think being aware of whats in food, including calories is good. It's counting them thats the problem.

Well unless the number of calories is too low, then what on earth is wrong with someone - pg or not- using it as a tool to help them?

It is a very simple way of keeping an eye on energy in, particularly good when you know the energy out (BMR)

It is neither inherently healthy or unhealthy. I could consume 1500 cals a day on KFC or freash, wholesome foods.

You might need more one day, or less. Better to learn to listen to your body.

agreed cal control is not the same as healthy eating.

There was a very interesting piece on the Food Programme about calories (not that this is relevant to the thread really). Link here

Going back to the OP, I conceived when I was obese. Scans were not as clear as they should have been - the sonographer was being tactful I think when she described one of my scans as being "technically difficult". Sadly it ended in miscarriage. I have no idea if my weight contributed to that, but if I were to conceive again I would want to know all this information. Otherwise how can we make informed choices?

And yes (said again for the millionth time) we really do need to see the actual leaflet to which the OP refers. I do hope she returns.

Calorie controlled eating encourages food issues and unhealthy habits.

It is not a good way to approach healthy eating in the slightest.

Reducing food to its calorie content is a complete misunderstanding of food's value and of nutrition.

I'm sorry but I'm comitting the sin of not reading the entire thread because I think it may set me off

OP, I have a BMI of over 50 and did so when I my DS, so in no way am I fat bashing or anything similar.

YANBU to think it's badly worded

Obese to medical professionals is not a comment about how attractive you are or a moral judgement, it's a fact, as are the risks associated with obeseity.

Replace the wieght issue with a non-emotive thing such as blood type and you'd be no where near as incensed.

Healthy eating, which will automatically lead to weight loss is a good thing to be encouraged in pregnancy.

to tackle the leaflet itself:
I will have raised blood pressure. (Not 'I may', 'I WILL') should be may, but factually correct*
I will be prone to urinary tract infections. (never had one in my life!)statistically and factually correct, prone, not will get*
'Bigger Ladies' (exact wordage) get more blood clots. (Dumb Fuck)factually correct*
Examinations will be difficult. (Why? Because you have to part all my layers of fat to get to my vag?! How fucking degrading)factually correct, manual manipulation is harder if you have a layer or fat to work through, or thick mucle for that matter, and scans will not be as clear as they would if there was less body to scan through, again the same if you are super fit and have thick mucles*

I will have restricted mobilisation. (Will I? Because I don't now, will it automatically come with being fat and preggers?)should be may, but factually correct*
Putting in a drip will be difficult. (yeah because my hands are so freaking chubby.)should be may, but factually correct*
Breastfeeding will be challenging (I've managed it with two babies, now because you've changed your guidelines I think I might struggle.)should be may, but factually correct depends how massive your norks are*
And my favourite one yet:
The risk of stillbirth or your baby dying in the first 28 days is increased in 'larger ladies' (Thanks for that one, nhs, I just had a misscarriage 8 weeks ago. Was it because I'm fat?)sad, but unfortunately factually correct*

YABU to say it's disgusting, degrading, scare mongering piece of shit when the stuff in it, whilst poorly worded is true, and you (as I did) need to be made aware

It's understandable to take these things incredibly personally, but they're not meant like that, but it's easy to get upset by little things when you're hormonal.

*may have blubbed my eyes out at the scan note comment stating poor picture quality due to maternal size

or, as eminen put it I'm overweight/obese and it carries certain health risks. If you don't like hearing that, lose weight.

I think on this occasion you can be forgiven MrsMooo - you're bringing us back on topic!

And it's a good post :)

I don't think that it was very well worded and it was hardly supportive, but there are risks if you are overweight.
If you are 5ft 2ins and 13stone you are overweight -I was just over 12stone and was overweight when I am 5 inches taller.
I lost 2 stone and feel so much better. Portion size is a lot to blame and I agree with quietlyafraid-you are supposed to be hungry at a meal time.
I didn't go on a diet, I didn't count calories. I changed my eating habits for life, smaller portion sizes, very little processed food and read the labels on food. After a while the body gets used to it and it isn't a hardship.

Yabvu. Fat is a health issue. But I wish you well with your pregnancy.

It's not supposed to be supportive to the mother, it's supposed to inform.

I am currently putting on weight and I think it's because I'm permanently knackered and therefore wanting to eat, although rarely hungry.

I think I just a word with myself!!

To correct exotic you are obese rather than "overweight"

It is a bit late to inform if they are already pregnant-they need to support. I don't really know what 13st on 5ft2 is like, on 5ft7ins it would be overweight.

exoticfruits - tiktok in particular has explained really clearly why pregnant women need this information.

and yet my healthiest weight (exercising regularly and sustained good diet)and if i were to go for a weight loss kick i would be aiming for 13 stone knowing that a healthy weight for me.

I was obese with all 3 of my kids and had lovely HB with DC 2 and 3. BMI of 33 I think.. I would have told you I was fit, happy with myself etc. 16 stone at 5'7. (I was fit for someone of that size - lots of fast walking, very strong)

Since DS3, I've lost 5 stone and it's utterly changed my life. Obviously, it doesn't help to lecture, patronise and belittle women, but a lot of us need a wakeup call. Being obese is not OK, it is not
healthy.

I agree with those suggesting healthy eating is the way forward, but the problem I experienced was that years of yoyo dieting meant that I don't know when I'm hungry or full! I've had to learn that skill.

yes exotic so they can feel really bad if anything bad happen and know its all there own fault.

I think that when very overweight people say they are fit, it is a very different fit from slimmer people.

It is physically impossible to do some activities above a certain weight .

Just carrying all that weight on your frame is mindblowingly bad for your skeleton, knees, heart, lungs and back.

Physiologically, humans are not meant to be fat. The single greatest thing you can do for your health after quitting smoking is to maintain a healthy slim weight.

I can't get my head around people who are very fat or obese being happy with that kind of weight, I just cannot. I also don't think they can have any conception of just how great they wouldl feel at a decent weight.

I have to tell some people that smoking gave them a life threatening condition and suggest that quitting may make a difference to their life expectancy.

TBh they react in exactly the same way as the OP. Huge levels of denial. Generally they know a person who smoked until they were 80 without any problems and therefore they believe smoking is safe (ignoring all the evidence to the contrary).

If I said nothing I'd be negligent as a HCP.

If you wish to ignore the risks...do so.

Frankly I don't care. I really don't. I do my job and offer support and help to change ...but if patients wish to carry on with a risky lifestyle I believe they have made an informed choice and I respect that.

Just don't shoot the messenger.

thats rubbish look, sorry but it is humans are not to be any extreme but in winter we are suppose to pork up and summer we are suppose to lose it its an evolutionary throw back. we are not suppose to fat but just as much we are not suppose to be really skinny neither are healthy.