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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think letting agent shouldn't have entered the house when dsd's were the only ones up.

134 replies

FontOfAllEvil · 01/11/2011 18:54

Agent called in at about 9am to inspect house (we have no idea if we forgot this appt. or if they forget to tell us) DH was still asleep after working a late night. Eldest dd (12) answered the door and agent asked to come in to do house inspection. Dd said dad was asleep and she didn't want to wake him. The agent asked to come in anyway. So did.

I feel very uncomfortable with the fact he did this. I don't prescribe to the pedophile on every corner train of thought but I am pissed off he came in anyway knowing the adult in the house was unavaliable.

I also think he was very stupid to put himself in the position of being alone with two young girls, as a teacher I am aware of the possibility of false allegations. This being why you are advised not to be in a closed classroom with a student.

I'm also pissed off that when dh rang to tell him that we weren't comfortable with what happened he didn't take it seriously at all.

We will discuss with dsds about not letting anyone into the house they don't know. I can't imagine that they haven't been told it before but may need reminding.

Would I be unreasonable to follow up the phone call with an email as dh was left feeling dismissed or am I over thinking this?

OP posts:
AnotherEmptyNest · 01/11/2011 18:58

YANBU. It was extremely rude of the estate agent to enter with no adult present. To be dismissive of what your DH said to me that, if it were my estate agent, I would like to sack him for impertinence and go to another. But you can't do that because you've signed an agreement with him.

Is there a more senior member of staff to whom you could address your concerns?

AnonWasAWoman · 01/11/2011 19:00

Um ... you do rather put yourself in the wrong by having 'no idea' whether you yourself forgot the appointment!

I'd check that before you get on your high horse.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 01/11/2011 19:02

YANBU and I would write a VERY strongly worded letter to complain about this. Illustrate that unless he is CRB checked you take extreme exception to his being alone, uninvited with your DSD.....and that you MIGHT take things further. You could report him in fact to the police for this.

slavetofilofax · 01/11/2011 19:02

YANBU.

Whether you had an appointment or not is irrelevant.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 01/11/2011 19:02

Get it in writing AND on an email.The same words....

RedHelenB · 01/11/2011 19:03

Dad was there though, your daughter could have woken him if she needed to so it's not quite the same as being alone surely?

AnonWasAWoman · 01/11/2011 19:04

What?!

If he had an appointment, and the OP and her DH didn't bother to be in and awake for it, it's somehow the lettings agent's fault?! Don't be ridiculous.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 01/11/2011 19:04

Anon No she does not...appointment or not he had NO right to enter when only a child was present.

AND OP you need to teach your DSD NOT to open the door unlelss she is expecting someone and KNOWS it is them.

Original poster
FontOfAllEvil · 01/11/2011 19:04

I'm willing to apologise for missing an appointment, this doesn't change the fact that he shouldnt have entered our home when only a ten yr old and a twelve yr old were avaliable does it?

OP posts:
MenopausalHaze · 01/11/2011 19:06

Did this happen today? Shouldn't the kids have been at school?

Original poster
FontOfAllEvil · 01/11/2011 19:07

Oh and I fully agree mumbling that dsd's should know that and DH will discuss with them when they are next here.

OP posts:
ChippingInAutumnLover · 01/11/2011 19:07

Well, it does rather depend on whether there was an appointment or not doesn't it as to whether he was unreasonable to do the inspection. If he had an appointment someone should have been there to meet with him. If I was the letting agent and a 12 year old (not a 3 year old) answered the door and let me in I'd assume it was fine to go ahead and do it.

I will hate it when everyone becomes that paranoid about being in the house with a 12 year old (and a sleeping parent).

Your DD should have woken your DH if you don't think she's old enough to deal with this.

Frankly, I can't see the problem, but there you go.

scarlettsmummy2 · 01/11/2011 19:07

your husband should have got up.

squeakytoy · 01/11/2011 19:07

Rather than having a go at someone who is trying to do his job, how about suggesting to your daughter that it would have been sensible to wake her father up. She is 12, not 2.

AnonWasAWoman · 01/11/2011 19:07

Yes, it does change it.

Your children let him in. If you do not want them to let him in, you should teach them so. Or you could teach them to wake your DH if they're incapable of making a decision who to let in the front door.

If he didn't have an appointment, he's not entitled to come in. And IMO he's on dodgier ground because he should then have accepted your DD saying her dad was asleep and not to be disturbed. But you can't blame him for what your children do in your own home, with an adult there, really. It's not on.

purplepidjin · 01/11/2011 19:07

I'm mid career change from Care to Lettings, and my experience is that to those who don't work with vulnerable people (children, people with learning disabilities, elderly people) it simply doesn't occur to them about stuff like this. My colleagues have asked all kinds of questions about my former career (general stuff, nothing confidential!!)

The agent should have a record of the phone call/email/letter in your file as they're obliged to give you "reasonable notice", usually 24 hours minimum...

Original poster
FontOfAllEvil · 01/11/2011 19:08

No it happened on Saturday, I was away with dd, dh told me about it when i got home, agency closed all weekend so dealt with it today.

OP posts:
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 01/11/2011 19:09

ANon no.....if she or her DH forgot, then the agent needed to leave thepremises as they were not present and they have no right to enter and be unacompanied with a child who does not know them.

auntiepicklebottom2 · 01/11/2011 19:10

i wouldn't of thought you would of forgotton, as my husband works night as soon as there is an appoinmnet booked we check to see what shift pattern he is on so we can rearange.

op Yanbu he shouldn't have came in with out an adult present

squeakytoy · 01/11/2011 19:11

Mumbling, there was an adult present... he just needed waking up.

Rollon2012 · 01/11/2011 19:11

YANBU and I would write a VERY strongly worded letter to complain about this. Illustrate that unless he is CRB checked you take extreme exception to his being alone, uninvited with your DSD.....and that you MIGHT take things further. You could report him in fact to the police for this.

Erm, you don 't need to take an hysterical approach to this , I agree asking to come in after knowing all adults were asleep was not right
, but for all he knew her dad could have been on nights etc or you its not a black and white thing.
I would have words with dsd ,that she should have woken you etc, my mum used to be like seriously until I was even 18 if a gas man came round, just barking.
obviously I agree a 12 year old is different, perhaps a calmer approach and like another poster said, did you forget the appointment??

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 01/11/2011 19:12

Anon yes her child let him in but he should KNOW that as an adult it is for his own protection as well as the childs that he does not enter! Don't they teach these people basic stuff fgs?

Yes the DD shoud probably have woken her Dad up but she did not and the agent had no right to ask her to do so...nor did he ave the right to enter without an adults permission!

Original poster
FontOfAllEvil · 01/11/2011 19:12

Agent said they sent letter, we received no letter. Neither of us can prove it to the other. So as neither of us can prove that we did send it/didn't recieve it then that rather takes the issue out of the occasion.

Dh would have got up had he been woken up.

Dsd's don't live with us and I assumed that they knew not to let strangers in, as they obviously don't then that will be dealt with (as I said in the OP)

OP posts:
AnonWasAWoman · 01/11/2011 19:13

mumbling - why?!

Adults are actually allowed to be unaccompanied with children (not that this man was - the dad was there). This man is not a teacher or a doctor, someone who is required to have a CRB check. He's a lettings agent. It's not his job to cover for parents if they get it wrong - and sorry, that is what this is asking him to do.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 01/11/2011 19:13

squeaky but the chld did NOT wake him up did she? And there's the rub...she had the right not to do so....it is her house....her choice....the agent had no right to enter without an adults permission...but the child had the right to refuse to wake her Dad up. No question.