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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate my son with every fibre of my being?

123 replies

billybobchilly · 30/10/2011 00:28

am i?

OP posts:
Original poster
billybobchilly · 30/10/2011 02:32

Thank you again to everyone that tried to understand. To the troll hunters - ask yourselves why on earth i kept the same user name for this "fun"

OP posts:
DeadFromTheNeckUp · 30/10/2011 02:38

YABU.

spiderslegs · 30/10/2011 02:51

I have to ask why OP? I hate my oldest brother at the moment because he's just shown himself to be a complete tosser, I'm so angry with him - but I still love the bastard.

runningwilde · 30/10/2011 05:05

Why on earth did you bother starting a thread if you are not going to explain what you mean? If you are genuine, at least explain yourself rather than giving NO info or just don't bother.

I suspect you are a journalist looking for a story for the Daily Mail...

FellatioNelson · 30/10/2011 05:18

Erm....are you going to elaborate at all? Put quite simply, yes of course YABU. Especially as he is a child, and not an arsey teen or a murdering rapist or a crack dealer. But we can't engage in this without more information.

SevenOfNine · 30/10/2011 05:29

?

This is drip-feeding at its worst....

MidsomerM · 30/10/2011 05:46

This is very strange and rather worrying. Why post such a horrifying statement then refuse to elaborate? Is your son in any danger from your unexplained hatred?

WhollyGhost · 30/10/2011 05:50

speak to your GP about this

FearfulYank · 30/10/2011 05:56

BillyBob has posted before and is not a troll.

What is going on, Billy ? How long have you felt like this? We need more info before we can help at all. And I agree with Wholly, you really need to speak to someone.

Proudnscary · 30/10/2011 07:04

How utterly bizarre. BillyBob I have never seen a thread where so many posters have been so patient and understanding given your incredibly provocative OP. People have urged you to 'talk' if you need to, but your responses have been hostile and contain no more information.
I have a 10 year old son and I love him deeply (as surely you do really) so on the most basic level of course YABU - now do you want some help here or not?

Sirzy · 30/10/2011 07:10

But if she doesn't give details then it is pretty much impossible to give support.

I would say in 99.9% of cases it is unreasonable to hate a 10 year old, you may hate some of the things he does but not the person

asktheparlourmaid · 30/10/2011 07:10

What proudnscary said.

Gonzo33 · 30/10/2011 07:17

I echo what Sirzy has said. I have a 10 year old boy and he is very testing at the moment (pre-teen tempers etc) but I still love the bones of him.

marriedinwhite · 30/10/2011 08:09

I have hated some of the things my son has done and said over the years but I have never hated him. OP are you mising up behaviour with the person? Can you tell us some more.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 30/10/2011 08:10

I have no idea if you are or if you aren't. Normally, we expect a mother's love to be unconditional, so for them to claim to hate their child, we think either depression on the mother's part or the child has done some really really evil things.

So if your son tortures small animals - yanbu
if he leaves the top off the toothpaste - yabu
if he murders old ladies - yanbu
if he forgot to turn his bedroom light off - yabu

Generally, in order to help others to understand, people explain why they feel the way they feel. Without that, it's simply impossible to even begin to know whether yabu or not.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 30/10/2011 08:13

That's true married, and it's such an important distinction. Hate what your child has done but still love them.

In fact, many even still do that when their child HAS done truly evil things. It normally takes something really extreme to affect a parent's basic, instinctive love for their child and I think it's probably more likely to be something a parent would feel if they were depressed, rather than in response to even a terrible thing their child had done.

soandsosmummy · 30/10/2011 08:16

what a disturbing and distressing thread.

OP please can you come back to reassure us that you and your family are alright? Your son must have done something terrible to evoke a response like this unless you have / are developing some kind of severe mental illness which is giving you a very negative outlook on life.

Either way you clearly need some help or your son does. Are you all safe? Do you feel better this morning?

Pagwatch · 30/10/2011 08:19

What are you trying to achieve op?

I have a quiet house and would be happy to try and help but your posting is not making much sense.

BattyDevineIntervention · 30/10/2011 08:22

C'mon, spill.

pigletmania · 30/10/2011 08:26

YABU with such a title and not giving any information, how do you expect people to understand where you are coming from and to help the best they can. Surely if you post like that, you have to be prepared to give some information. Have you got someone in RL that you can open up to? If you are not prepared to be open why post Hmm

pigletmania · 30/10/2011 08:41

Whats the point of this thread?

ssd · 30/10/2011 08:45

I think hating a ten year old is horrible and really sad

op dont post things like that if you cant be bothered following it up

go and give him a cuddle you probably both need it

pigletmania · 30/10/2011 08:48

If you haven't got anyone in RL, I suggest you go to your GP and ask for counselling or where you can go to get help, as it sounds as though you need it.

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs · 30/10/2011 08:49

She's not come back.
It is disturning and, as far as I can see, pointless.

FellatioNelson · 30/10/2011 08:53

Very very worrying now. OP please come back, if only to let us know that you are not in the grip of some seriously awful depressive illness. I suspect you posted this when you were drunk/depressed/angry/tired or all four once, and now you feel embarrassed and ashamed. It really doesn't matter what you said in an ill-judged moment to a bunch of strangers on the internet, so long as you and your little boy are ok. I have seen your other threads. I know you love him very much. The nicest thing anyone ever said you you is 'Mummy' right? Just let us know you are both ok please.