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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate it when posters on here call other women bitches?

100 replies

Proudnscary · 29/10/2011 09:08

I don't like the word 'bitch', I find it offensive (and not much offends me, trust me).

I see it increasingly in AIBU, usually on a thread about another mum who has upset the OP by not inviting their dc to a party or some such abhorrent crime Hmm.

Within two or three posts, you get 'She's obviously just a nasty bitch..' etc.

How can you say that about somebody you know next to nothing about? And why use such misogynistic language?

OP posts:
philmassive · 29/10/2011 09:09

Yanbu. Name calling is for the playground, and most of us on here don't think it's even appropriate there.

Abra1d · 29/10/2011 09:11

YANBU.

But you will now get lots of people telling you that it is their right to swear and using all the naughty words they know to try and really, really shock you.

Original poster
Proudnscary · 29/10/2011 09:16

I don't mind swearing - I swear like a trucker myself actually and I fucking enjoy it!

It's the 'bitch' word and it's connotations.

It's also very low and rather stupid to call someone that you have never even laid eyes on such an unpleasant word.

OP posts:
squeakyfreakytoy · 29/10/2011 09:18

It honestly is not a word that I find offensive... I think the C word is much worse.

Original poster
Proudnscary · 29/10/2011 09:21

The c word doesn't bother me - but mainly because (in the UK) it is not used against women. In America I think the connotations are much more misogynistic, similar to 'bitch'.

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 29/10/2011 10:17

I like the word bitch. A lot of women use it about themselves "release my inner bitch" etc and it is frequently directed at men. I think it is used pretty much equally about women and men nowaday.

It can be used as verb "stop bitching", and there is that great "get away from her you bitch" line in Aliens from Sigourney. YANBU if you find it offensive, but I l think its good useful word.

Aislingorla · 29/10/2011 10:25

I suppose people who wouldn't swear in RL let it rip here. I was surprised to be called a cunt on a thread here, not offened ,as such, just felt a bit sorry for the poster letting a faceless stranger upset her so much so as to cause her to use such a 'taboo' word. (well, taboo in middle class England)

Original poster
Proudnscary · 29/10/2011 10:26

Yes good point Catgirl. Maybe it's more about context and stupid posters calling other women names with no good reason. It just makes me twitch.

While I'm at it, I shudder when poster's call other women 'nasty' too, it's so juvenile. It's nearly always used on threads about the mythical school gate mum-bullies - t says more about posters' inadequacies than the 'nasty' mums (who I have never actually come across after ten years of motherhood).

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 29/10/2011 10:29

I agree the level of nastiness on here is pretty horrible at times. I don't like name calling etc whatever the name is. I have seen a lot of women telling other women they are stupid / weak / brain washed / etc if they hold a different view and then it tends to degenerate into petty name calling. I dont like that at all.

Original poster
Proudnscary · 29/10/2011 10:32

Yes agree, I can get quite heated/direct/shouty on occassion on here but I have never insulted anyone...well let's say I've never called anyone a rude or offensive name!

I'm also being a snob about this by the way, as I think only a certain type of person calls other women 'nasty bitches'.

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 29/10/2011 10:35

mmm I would agree with you on that context. It's not something I would say. I might say to someone "oh do stop bitching", or say "oh you absolute bitch" in a light hearted way to a good friend if we were having a gossip.

I can get pretty heated too but I haven't (I hope) resorted to name calling.

Rollon2012 · 29/10/2011 10:39

I'm of 'if the boot fits wear it' persuasion

calling someone a bitch when its not needed i.e its not on , I have on occasion said someone seems like a bitch after reading OP's on here

call a spade a spade? I'm probably alone on this one, oh well.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 29/10/2011 11:00

Agree with catgirl, it's all in the delivery for me. An insult, meant as an insult, is insulting.

ShirleyKnot · 29/10/2011 11:02

Slag is much worse.

valiumredhead · 29/10/2011 11:03

I swear like a trooper but bitch is a word I save for very special occasions.

worraliberty · 29/10/2011 11:06

Gosh I see 'bitch' as the mildest of them all

I suppose if you analyse it then yeah it's very insulting but then so is 'Bastard' if you analyse that too.

I've given up analysing mild swearwords cos they give me a bastard headache Grin

slavetofilofax · 29/10/2011 11:09

Bitch is a very descriptive word, and it fits a description that is appropriate to more women than men. That doesn't make it mysoginistic.

Bitch tends to refer to people who are being outwardly manipulative, or sly, and when women are being horrible to other people, they tend to do so in what I would think of as a bitchy way. Men can be equally as horrible, but they tend to do it in a different way to women. Of course there are planty of exceptions to that, and men can be 'bitchy', but it's just a word that fits women better.

The words twat and wanker fit men better. If I use those words it doesn't mean that I am some kind of man hater.

Tortington · 29/10/2011 11:11

HAY OP....THIS IS FOR YOU

Tortington · 29/10/2011 11:14

this is dh with my christmas present

ConstanceTenchOfZombies · 29/10/2011 11:27

I'm not keen on it either, but I do particularly hate it when it's aimed at young girls rather than adult women.

" DD(5) has been an absolute bitch today "

positively vile.

Trills · 29/10/2011 11:36

YANBU to hate it, but I think "to bitch" is a very useful verb, and "bitchy" is a very useful adjective.

rycooler · 29/10/2011 11:47

'Bitch' describes some women perfectly. sadly I've come across 100's.

LineRunnerWitchyMother · 29/10/2011 15:16

I like swearing in general but personally I think that 'bitch' is a very common word and I don't use it, like it, or find any merit in anyone using it. It oozes with that lazy judgemental stereotyping of women as inherently and ferally nasty.

MrBloomsNursery · 29/10/2011 16:40

Yes it's pretty bad, but I've been guilty of it. Never called another person on here a bitch, but people in RL....:(