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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Eamonn Holmes is a bit of a know isnt he

183 replies

AVoidkaTheKillerZombies · 27/10/2011 16:40

here

Asking a rape victim why she didnt take a taxi.

Knob!

OP posts:
KatieScarlett2833 · 27/10/2011 18:30

He's a cheating shagger too.

Super husband and father, move over Peter Andre...

SardineQueen · 27/10/2011 18:31

Do people really order cabs to take them round the corner?

Of course they don't.

But of course if a woman walks around a corner and is unfortunate enough to walk into the path of a rapist, people say she should have got a cab. Silly.

Rindercella · 27/10/2011 18:31

So rape victims are at fault for walking home and not taking a taxi?

Probably the best advice to give anyone in this situation is to the rapist: "do not rape". It is that simple.

SheCutOffTheirTails · 27/10/2011 18:31

You see "loving father and husband" giving kindly advice to young girl.

I see sexist twat trying to seem cuddly and avuncular by turning a story about a young woman's bravery into one about her stupidity (and how much better off she would have been if only she had met dear Éamonn before she was raped).

Rindercella · 27/10/2011 18:32

Oh an Eamonn Holmes is a total twat for saying this (but I am in no way surprised that he did say this cos the blokes an idiot).

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 27/10/2011 18:33

So, if your DD came home and told you she'd been raped whilst she was on the way home, would your first response be "you should have taken a taxi"?

Because, you know, I'd rather just support her. I'd rather not put that element of "well, it's my fault for not doing x, y or z" in her mind.

It is victim blaming.

SardineQueen · 27/10/2011 18:33

Good post scott.

So true about turning the story from one of amazing bravery and presence of mind, to one of stupidity. Dreadful.

HerdOfTinyElephants · 27/10/2011 18:34

"So because he is a loving father and husband that just wants to look out for the women in his life, suddenly he is a victim bashing sexist."

No, because he says to a victim of rape "She was ... walking home - didn't take a taxi [...] Why were you tempted to walk home? [...] it wasn't [OK to walk the last two streets to your home without taking a taxi] [...] I hope you take taxis now. Everywhere you go, coming home at night." he's victim bashing. And because he tells his daughter to take taxis everywhere at night, but not his sons (who, statistically, are massively more likely to be attacked while walking at night), and because he then extrapolates that advice to the population as a whole, he's a victim bashing sexist.

HelveticaTheBold · 27/10/2011 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KatieScarlett2833 · 27/10/2011 18:35

I'm off to the exercise torture chamber in half an hour.

It's dark and DD and I will have to walk from the car park. Should I phone for a cab now or wait and call from the car?

Pan · 27/10/2011 18:37

going against the grain. Massively clumsy, ill-thought out, but misogyny? Nowhere near it. And I don't read it as blaming her for being attacked. He 'interviews' people about all sorts of stuff, and he was clearly not very well prepared by producers about the acute issues about sexual assault.
Don't particulalry like him or his style, tbh.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 27/10/2011 18:37

Also, it's one thing to keep repeating this advice to someone in the hope of keeping them safe from a rapist.

It's another to keep on at someone who has already been attacked by a rapist and saying "why didn't you..." and "I hope now you will..."

It makes all the difference in the world if you are saying those things, repeatedly, to someone. Timing is everything and saying it after the fact is not caring, it's crass, insensitive and blaming.

squeakyfreakytoy · 27/10/2011 18:38

There is less chance of a woman being mugged, attacked, or raped if she gets a taxi home, and the same goes for men too. Yes, I would tell my stepson to get a cab home and not walk on his own.

The best advice of all is stay with your mates, do not go alone in a cab or walking. If you do get a cab on your own, book it with a cab office, do not just flag down a cab in the street.

If someone pulls up for directions, dont go towards them, dont lean into their car.

There will always sadly be incidents where people have done everything they possibly can to ensure their own safety and despite that, still become the victim of an attack.

proudfoot · 27/10/2011 18:40

I heard about this earlier and agree - he is a twat with his comments here

kelly2000 · 27/10/2011 18:40

So if, like most victims, she had been married to her rapist, he would be asking her why on earth she got married despite the fact rape is most likely to occur in marriage?

I saw this in the DM and there were comments saying he is right, underneath there was an article about a man beaten up for his wedding ring, not one comment saying he should not have worn visable jewellary, and should have got a taxi.

Does he think getting a taxi would have stopped Sian Callaghan from getting murdered -oops my mistake she got a taxi and she knew the driver as a friend's father.

Buts its nice to know that the part of the story Holmes got was that she got a taxi, not that she got raped. But what can you expect from a creature who thinks calling people retarded is acceptable.

LadyEvilEyes · 27/10/2011 18:40

Well, I'll agree to disagree then
I just think he looks out for those he loves, a bit old fashioned, but at least he gives a shit.
And as the mother of a 16 year old son who. in a couple of years time will be going to university, I will encourage him to take a taxi if he has to walk home alone.
Violent crime does not just happen to women, in fact young men are far more likely to face a violent attack.
All the mothers on this thread with 'adult' children, what do you advise them?
Basically, for me, be sensible and keep safe.

SardineQueen · 27/10/2011 18:40

People do not order cabs to drive them around the corner.

It is silly to suggest that this would be normal behaviour or is in any way sensible.

As for whether you are less likely to be attacked in a cab - that rather depends on who the cab driver is, doesn't it.

chibi · 27/10/2011 18:41

When i was attacked it was about 3 houses away from mine, the exact distance from the bus stop where i got off. Should i have called a cab?

this is really too dumb for words

anyone who can see kind avuncular advice in his words is far mor charitable than i'll ever be - all i see is the same old tired misogynist bullshit

MrsCampbellBlack · 27/10/2011 18:41

YANBU

Always thought he came across as a nasty piece of work and this latest comment just confirms what an idiot he is.

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 27/10/2011 18:41

Pan, come on... How can you not see the victim blaming?

He basically said to her, although not in so many words If you got a taxi, you wouldn't have been raped

Helvectia, I'm lucky that I've never heard a word of victim blaming (wrt rape) coming from my mother. Victim blaming re abuse, yes. Victim blaming re rape, not once. Not ever.

SheCutOffTheirTails · 27/10/2011 18:42

It's the lesser spotted "I really love women and just want to protect them from their own weakness and stupidity" species of misogyny.

It's the most common species in the British Isles.

SardineQueen · 27/10/2011 18:43

Quite, chibi.

When I was a teen I didn't have £30 to spend on a cab home. The budget for the whole night was about £20!

Most people in london use the tube and continue from there. If your home is a couple of mins walk from the tube station do you order a cab? Of course not. But if anything happens it will of course be your fault for not ordering a cab...

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 27/10/2011 18:45

It's not advice after the fact though LadyEvilEyes. That's what has made the difference here and caused all these comments.

When my son is old enough I will be doing all I can to advise him to stay safe. I have no doubt that sometimes he will ignore that advice as I sometimes ignored my parents and my own better judgement.

God forbid that anything happens to him but if it does I hope I won't be tempted to say to him "well why didn't you do this like I told you?"

NinkyNonker · 27/10/2011 18:45

He's a fucking pillock.

HelveticaTheBold · 27/10/2011 18:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.