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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dog off lead running at DD in park

480 replies

megcleary · 26/10/2011 16:19

AIBU to have roared at man who said oh he won't hurt her.

My comments on his dog owning skills included the fact there is no sign on the dog to say he won't attack DD, the dog should be on a lead, sign as you enter park and the dog did not return/ respond when he called it.

His response was to tell me to shut up.

I hate dogs on the loose in the park.

OP posts:
CustardCake · 26/10/2011 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pink4ever · 26/10/2011 16:55

My ds is scared of dogs after being jumped and nipped at by a neighbours yappity little shit dog when he was only a toddler. I had a right go at them. I have tried to reassure ds that most dogs are lovely and just want to be friends. He will now pat a couple of friendly dogs we know but if we are at the park he gets very anxious if they are loose dogs with the owners not near by.

I cannot stand owners who allow their dogs to run in and piss in the play park while they stand there ineffectually calling it. Twats. Btw I love dogs-had one for 17 years but if any dog ever bit my child then I would kill it. end off.

megcleary · 26/10/2011 16:55

Ah I knew a dog thread on MN would be fun!

DD is 4 and was backing away calling for me as the dog came at her.

What I expect in this situation is not a feeble Oh he won't hurt her, I do not know that in the split seconds he is starting to get to her.

I expect the dog to be on a lead as that is what is designated for this park.

If you think you can control your dog and it will come when called, that is your decision I, again, am not a mind reader and will not say anything about dogs off leads, but will not relax when the animal is near so I can mind my DD if it does start bounding over.

There are parks where dogs can go off lead I do not take DD there.

I agree some children are over familier with dogs and this may make owners nervous, DD did not approach the dog or show an interest or fear until he was there.

DH is very careful to introduce to friends dogs as they wish it to be done and tells her not to approach dogs when we are out and about as she does not know how well trained they are.

OP posts:
CalamityKate · 26/10/2011 16:56

LOL @ Kladdkaka's pootling, wind up toy dog! :D

LoveInAColdGrave · 26/10/2011 16:59

OP - YANBU.

I wasn't afraid of dogs until I was bitten, aged 30, by one in an unprovoked attack. Apparently it was "never usually like that" Angry.

Dogs should not be off the lead unless they are fully under control.

gomez · 26/10/2011 17:00

And in a similar vein to Desperately - where am I allowed to train my puppy? We have graduated from house to back garden via. church hall for classes but at the end of the day if I want to practice I need to let her off the lead and learn to deal with distractions - like joggers/cyclists/children/other dogs/rabbits/birds/yummy smells. How do I do this as a responsible owner? Cause as a pup she ain't going to get it right all the time.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 26/10/2011 17:00

I don't like the "ooh he won't hurt" brigade either. My smaller boy was knocked down as a toddler, dogs can be scary when they are bigger than you and bash you over.

And "ooh he won't bite". Unless the dog has had it's teeth removed you can't know that for sure.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 26/10/2011 17:00

Sorry, its not it's. Don't know where that apostrophe came from!

activate · 26/10/2011 17:01

small children grow out of their abject fear of dogs - until then you need to keep an eye on them and just swoop them up especially if in dog-friendly areas like parks and woods

dog-owners have a right and a duty to allow their dogs to exercise

children do not trump all other people in society and the time you have young, petrified children is extremely short compared to your entire life

my youngest was one of the shivering, quaking with fear whenever an animal appeared toddler - she's now 7 and crazy-mad for dogs - they grow out of it

slightlymad72 · 26/10/2011 17:01

Last week on the park I was charged at by a Jack Russell, barking its bloody head off, it had just entered the park, its owners had taken it off the lead, the dog spied me and charged. It had perfect recall, returning to its owners when called, that didn't stop my WTF reaction. I am not scared easily, I work with agressive owls, but a dog charging at me from behind made me jump.

Its no good just having a dog that is good on recall, its need to know how to behave when the lead has been taken off.

activate · 26/10/2011 17:03

Monday I saw a toddler grabbing hold of a spaniel who was tied down (lead and everthing) - his mum yanked him away as the the toddler held on to the poor dog's eyebrow and it looked really painful so I had to shout over at her that he had a tight grip of the dog - he finally pulled away with a visible amount of dog fur in his hand (and we were sitting a good 10 yards away)

the dog did nothing - no growl - no bite

I'd far prefer fear in a child than that reaction to what could be dangerous if provoked

Goldenbrown1981 · 26/10/2011 17:03

I can appreciate how scary it must be for a parent when an unknown dog runs over to their child. Like Klad said, I hold my breath when an unknown dog runs over to my dog, it must be a lot worse for a parent.

I don't understand the annoyance at someone saying "it wont hurt you", surely that reassurance is what is needed. If my dog did this, and as I've already stated she has been known to, her recall is not quite 100%, I've never met a dog whose is, my instant reaction is to call her back, shout reassurance to the parents and go after her. She is them Immediately put on her lead until we have done a bit more recall work. Should I not reassure? Is this really offensive? I don't get it

callmemrs · 26/10/2011 17:03

gomez - joggers, cyclists, children and other pets are not there to provide convenient training for your puppy. I would be seriously pissed off if some dog jumped up at me, particularly when I am cycling, or jumped at my kids, or caused any sort of hazard just because "they can't get it right all the time"

shinyrobot · 26/10/2011 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CalamityKate · 26/10/2011 17:06

dog-owners have a right and a duty to allow their dogs to exercise

Absolutely. They also have a duty to at least TRY to ensure their dog doesn't bother anyone whilst it's exercising.

ChairOfTheBored · 26/10/2011 17:06

Endo from free range dogs to free range apostrophes, it's a slippery slope I tell ya!

catsrus · 26/10/2011 17:06

sounds like you and dh are doing a good job of introducing her to dogs OP but I do think you need to try to modify your own behaviour when something like this happens -try not to 'roar' because it will just convince your DD that there is something to be scared of.

My mother was terrified of dogs - but my dad always taught us how to behave around dogs - some stupid boy set a German Shepherd on me when I was 11 and it came barking and snarling towards me. I just stood totally still not meeting it's eyes and it promptly sat down in front of me [hsmile]. They do, generally, react well to someone who is calm and unafraid, the more you can project that the better. Dogs let off leads in the wrong place by stupid owners are a fact of life, so you have to teach yourself and your DD to deal with it. I'd love to pass a law saying only responsible and intelligent owners can own dogs - sadly not likely to happen!

EndoplasmicReticulum · 26/10/2011 17:07

now wondering what slightlymad does for a living.....aggessive owls sounds fantastic!

I was at a woodlands open day recently, there was a birds of prey display there, the man said he couldn't fly the eagle as there were so many dogs off leads and he was worried it would fly off with one! He could have always run after it saying "don't worry, it won't hurt" - as the giant bird of prey disappeared off over the horizon with a small dog in its claws.....

TiredMUMMYno1 · 26/10/2011 17:09

Activate why dont you pick your dog up when kids are in the vicinity.

Our kids have a right to exercise you know

activate · 26/10/2011 17:11

I have 4 kids and a dog

yours is not the only opinion Grin

slightlymad72 · 26/10/2011 17:12

At the time the Jack Russell cam hurtling towards me I was carrying a Red Tailed Hawk in a box, we were doing some exercising on the park. I was very tempted to open the box and let her have a go. I think the dog owners would have been a little upset. [EvilGrin]

Its not 'work' I've sort of fallen into rehabilitating captive bred Owls and Birds of prey, I keep them and they become members of the family, each has been abused and neglected by humans and are in need of a lot of TLC.

StewieGriffinsMom · 26/10/2011 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moosemama · 26/10/2011 17:21

These threads are always flashpoints and always the same people saying the same thing.

If the park concerned was an on-lead aread, then the owner was BU and I would have been angry myself if a loose dog had come bounding up to me and either my dcs or dogs, if it clearly should have been on the lead. I also object to the 'he only wants to play' thing, when that is clearly irrellevant, as the dog should have been under control regardless.

Fundamentally, just as with many things, there are good people and bad people - so good dog owners and bad dog owners. Good owners take the time and care to train their dogs properly, clean up after them and take all steps to make sure they don't adversely affect anyone else. Bad dog owners do not, simple as that, as usual it tends to only take a few bad dog owners to give all owners a bad name.

Not all dogs have reliable recalls, even when trained extensively, a responsible owner should/would be aware of this and make sure they have a) trained some alternative control behaviours, such as an instant down and b) are aware enough of where their dog is and what its doing when out walking to be able to stop them from running up to other people, by keeping them on the lead if necessary and only making the effort to take them to places where they can safely be let off lead without bothering others.

That said, I have noticed that more and more children seem to be afraid of dogs these days than ever before. Every single one of my dc's school friends that have come to play at our house has been terrified of dogs and my dogs have to be locked in the garden every time as a result. Similarly there are lots of children that squeal, flap and run away making a huge fuss when I am walking with my dogs and they are calmly walking to heel - on the lead. If I see a person, child or adult, who looks nervous or scared, I always step aside and put my dogs into a down until they have passed, but I still get dirty looks and sometimes comments, despite having well trained, calm, friendly dogs.

As for the comment, nobody NEEDS a dog. That is technically true, unless perhaps you have a seeing-eye, hearing or other assistance dog or you work with police, army, security dogs, or for that with matter epilepsy or cancer detection dogs - or Pets As Therapy dogs. Dogs give an awful lot to our society and ask for very little in return (eg a warm bed, regular meals, fresh water and some freedom to run off-lead). They bring a lot of happiness to a lot of people and yes, some people are afraid of them, but that doesn't automatically mean that they should be eliminated from our society.

To come back to my original point, the dogs of responsible dog owners are not a problem. Unfortunately getting hold of and keeping a dog is all too easy in this country. They are treated by many as disposable playthings and the amount of care, training and responsibilty they require is neither considered nor cared about by these people. Tarring every dog and every owner with the same brush and calling all owners and dogs bad is neither accurate or fair.

MrsVoltar · 26/10/2011 17:24

If there is a sign in the park saying dogs should be on leads then they should be. Take them somewhere they are allowed off-lead.

I mostly walk my dog in the countryside but sometimes go to local park for change of scene. My dog has great recall & I will let her off-lead when the park is quiet but call her if I see anyone with children or other dogs on leads.

She comes straight away & if she didn't, I wouldn't let her off-lead in the park.

SacreLao · 26/10/2011 17:25

Gomez - You use a long line or a re-call lead when training re-call, the dog can go away in order to be called back but they are still secure and 'on-lead' so to speak.

None of my dogs were allowed off lead until they had a reliable re-call.

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