Social Services are not the Childcatcher (FFS)

[LoopyLoopsPussInBoots]

(Thread about so many threads)

AIBU to think that if you have concerns for the welfare of a child, you don't assess the situation yourself, you let the professionals know so they can evaluate the situation?

I know contact from SS can be daunting and worrying for a parent, but the fear of upsetting an adult, or the fear of repercussions on yourself can NEVER trump the fear of welfare for a child.

Social Services will not just wade in and take children away without very compelling reasons to do so. Please don't be scared of calling them if you think a child is at risk of abuse, whatever form this may take. Don't 'wait and see', don't try to sort it out yourself, don't ask a million people for advice and do nothing, ask the trained and experienced professionals to do their job and assess the situation properly.

FFS!

But Op there seems to be more bad than good. That is why they have such a bad reputation.

Do you actually know of any children who are taken and shouldn't be? My experience is limited, but I have never heard of such a case (apart from in the proper old days).

Well phoning SS every time you "have an inkling something isn't right" is the equivalent of going to the doctor when you have cold.

Intelligent people know when to call in a doctor and when not to bother. The same intelligence should be applied to any decision to call in SS.

More bad than good? Are you sure? As I said, I was in care. I've had a lot of different social workers. I have a lot of friends who are social workers. I'm a teacher, and have come across a lot of social workers in my professional life. They aren't all great, but as I said, they are human. The ones I know definitely aren't more bad than good.

The secrecy of the family courts makes it vanishingly unlikely you would hear of such a case.

Yes my Sisters did. As i said it was from a SS Worker with a point to prove.

My sister ended up getting a letter of appology back from SS. Doesnt help the fact they were taken in the first place.

All because she had a violent ex who used to go to the SS and make up stories.

The SS worker even forced her to let he V iolent ex have the kids on his own (in SS own words, he thinks he is a great dad). even though she had police reports and a restraining order against him.

But this is Mumsnet. Even on here has anyone heard of such a case?

Ah OK MrSpoc.

S they get it wrong sometimes. Still worth the risk IMO.

Am assuming sone of you here would leave a child to suffer rather than involve social services. Nice!
I think (from working experience of social worker) they do a crappy and very stressful job. It takes massive evidence to get a child out hence children like my ex neighbours son are left in neglectful homes for years before enough evidence has built up. Even when you can show that the mother's previous kids are all totally fucked up by the "parenting" they have received. Social workers have their hands tied much of the time hence why they may be perceived to "do nothing useful".
OP YANBU - others on the thread ARE unreasonable though as they'd presumably leave children to suffer rather than allow the input of social services who might improve experience for a child.

MrSpoc - it is better that SS take every call serously even if it is from X's with a grudge than to take the chance of ignoring them and from someone who works in a field where lots of SS interventionhappens I have to say that they are all not great but they do a job that is very hard against lots of cuts and problems with regards to publicity that has happened after the Baby P case.

I would not hesitate to call them and would be happy for themto come into my house and judge me as I have nothing to hide.

but blar za Op.

So in order to save one life we should sacrifice 100's of innocents and mess their lives up?

Dont get me wrong, they do, do a good job when it is done right, but it seems they get it more wrong, than right.

I think you are very brave with this thread loopy (and I salute you) I was also in care and I am now a social worker myself, working for a CP and proceedings team.

I think Maryz hit the nail on the head earlier, the media report all the bad and not the good things we do. Ultimately it is not us who kill children its the parents, the media like to forget that small point.

I would call them if i thought that something was worng. but what most of you here are saying, is that you would call them, even if you have had a 5 minute glimpse into someones lives. (which is wrong)

Better safe than sorry.

MrS. Your statistics are nonsense. Where are you getting your info from? Just your sister's case? The tabloids? Or a variety of real life?

I'm not saying the is the case for your sister at all, but a lot of people I know feel they are good parents (my mother still insists this ) and are furious when SS get involved. Just because you think you're a good parent doesn't make it true.

YABVU.

I have quite a few unique perspectives on this.

I have a close relative, for whom I have immense respect, who was a social worker for about 15 years and then quit and founded an advocacy group for children in care (this group is now huge & nationwide), because of what she saw as the system's failings. She returned to social work about 15 years later (again in child protection).

However, I was reported to SS for things that were normal 30 years ago & that would cause mega debate on MN if I went into details (there was basically no followup from SS, too); being reported badly undermined my confidence and what's worse, it made me slightly paranoid about my neighbours, friends and acquaintances. To me it was a blunt accusation of the very worst kind (neglect). Someone was perfectly pleasant to my face but accused me of something so horrible behind my back. I still don't know who I can trust. Being reported has made me a poorer parent in the long run.

So I cannot disagree more strongly that people should think hard before reporting anyone to SS. Nobody likes to be unfairly or falsely accused, or is the better for the experience. You're lying if you say different.

Not saying "never" ring SS, just saying that thinking long and hard IS the right thing to do.

to 'meet' you thelastname, and thanks. :)

Oops! Nice

LoopyLoopsPussInBoots - amd what stats hjave i given you?

"in order to save one life we should sacrifice 100's of innocents" this

"Oh and I don't believe for a minute that SS won't just wade in and take children unless there is good reason"

Umm.. SS do not have the power to just 'wade in' and take children, only the Police have that power (under s.46 of the children Act 1989).

Believe it or not if social workers want to remove children they either do it with the consent of the parent (perhaps where parent is ill or accepts they aren't coping - this is usually a temporary measure and the parent retains all their rights and will usually have lots of contact)

or -

They have to do indepth assessments and collate a massive amount of evidence to present to the court (at which point the decision to remove the child is no longer the Local Authority's decision, it is the courts). This can take weeks and months just to get through the initial stages and up to two years before a final decision is made.

despite what the hysterical media tells us the most common way a child comes into care is the middle option - with parental consent, this is what we call s.20. The parent will usually be getting support alongside the s.20 placement to help them sort out whatever it is they were struggling with.

Oh and to the person who made reference to the poor pay, freelance social workers at the top of their game with a masters or more can earn a grand a week easy. I am concerned however about the youngest people in the profession qualifying off the back of Bachelors degrees of questionable quality :S

Social workers do a hard job for crappy pay and difficult restrictions, AND they also have to put up with nasty twats constantly criticising them. Whatever they do, people bitch and moan about them, yet the complainers aren't willing to do such a hard and thankless job.

It's just bollocks that they 'get more wrong than right'

Only a numpty would make that completely unfounded, spurious statement.

Calling the SS when there is a genuine concern, absolutely. Calling them because you have some odd fantasy based on curtain twitching when you haven't bothered to so much as say hello to the family, no, what happened to community spirit?

I am a bit sensitive about this today, because yesterday I had a SW visit, because my neighbour, who has shunned our attempts to make friendly conversation in the street, reported us with some ridiculous allegations.

I had just suffered a miscarriage, I was physically and emotionally in a state, DH was looking after me and DS, who is a bubbly, well adjusted 15 month old. She told me off about unopened post (what has that got to do with how well I look after my son?) and untidyness in my lounge (I had been curled up on the sofa miscarrying all weekend) although she conceded the place was clean. She told me that if the police were involved (WTF?) they wouldn't be impressed by the untidyness. She made a cats bum face when I told her he sleeps in my room. She would not close the file until she had seen my bedroom, which I refused, as I felt the invasion of privacy was more than I could deal with already.

I appreciate that they have a job to do, and that in many cases it is very worthy. What I don't appreciate is that I have to tidy and spring clean my house and gods know what else in order to jump through their hoops and demonstrate that I am a good parent, because some anonymous stranger made up some tales, which are obviously, upon spending any time with DS, absolute bollocks.