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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Pregnant at 47. AIBU to be dreaming up responses to the innevitable sarcy comments?

100 replies

MarieFromStMoritz · 25/10/2011 05:33

So. Pregnant at 47. I just know that when I post this news on Facebook people are going to be saying things like, "ooh, you certainly know how to make life hard for yourself!" (I have 4 kids already), or "ooh, are you sure it's not the menopause?". Stuff like that. I don't want to tell anyone. This morning for a fleeting second I thought of telling people that we adopted the baby. It was just a fleeting second until I realised how ridiculous that would be.

AIBU to be a bit sensitve about it? I haven't even told anyone and already I'm pissed off

OP posts:

MustControlFistOfDeath · 25/10/2011 22:15

What lovely news, congratulations. Just ignore derogatory comments from those of very little brain.

I'm 41, DS is 10mo and we're trying for another

Happy Birthday to Bucharest and Calabria

NationalTruss · 25/10/2011 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

BsshBossh · 25/10/2011 22:27

Congratulations! Yes, you'll get comments. Get used to it. Enjoy your pregnancy inspite of peoples' views - only your views and feelings count :)

MorelliOrRanger · 25/10/2011 22:28

Congratulations :)

I told my nan I was pg a few weeks ago and all she said was 'oh dear'
I just said that wasn't the response we were expecting as a) it's not an accident and b) we are over the moon.

I can't wait til I see her next weekend to see what she'll say then. I'll be 40 when this one is born.

thefirstMrsDeVeerie · 25/10/2011 22:40

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!

How utterly lovely.

I am well jell.

I got OH fixed after DC5 because I knew I would want more. I was right, I DO

I had my youngest at 43. I didnt get many comments although I was expecting them.

As others have said you are more likely to get people gawping behind your back and if you cant see them or hear them - who gives a flying feck?

mummylin2495 · 25/10/2011 22:47

MarieFromStMoritz dont worry about others ,my sister is 50 and expecting non identical twins.She is now 22 weeks pregnant and so far all is well with her and her babies.Of course we are concerned because of her age but we all want the best possible outcome for her.Good luck with your pregnancy.

hester · 25/10/2011 22:51

Congratulations from another older mum! (Mine were born when I was 41 and 45.)

Generally, I've had fewer comments than I expected - often, I get in first with a self-deprecating comment and find that they just look a bit puzzled. The one person who can be relied upon to add a negative note is my own mum, who was a young mother (as was my grandmother, who is just 37 years older than me). EVERY SINGLE TIME I talk to her, without fail, she says, "Ooh, I do feel sorry for you. I don't know how you cope. Of course, I raised my children 20 years younger than you/by the time you were having your first all mine had left home/I was a grandmother at your age and know how much more tiring it is looking after children then."

[hangry]

Almostfifty · 25/10/2011 22:55

Congratulations!

I am that age and sooo jealous. I'd have had hunners (sorry, teenage sons) of children if I'd been allowed to. I had to make do with four.

I loved being pregnant. I love babies. I love toddlers. I love pre-schoolers.

Enjoy every minute while you're pregnant and that lovely baby time.

Saffron · 25/10/2011 22:56

Marie, CONGRATULATIONS How brilliant.

We got married after a 20yr engagement the other week. I purposely didn't change my name or put married on facebook because I didn't want any negative comments. We were outed, most were congratulary some were a bit
But, as my Little Gran would of said, Fuck 'em all, its your life.

racetobed · 25/10/2011 23:00

I would love, love, LOVE five children, but I don't have a partner, so it's going to be a challenge.

And I would LOVE to have more babies in my 40s, but as there's a history of early menopause on my maternal side, I can't see it happening!

So if you were my friend and you were to tell me you were pregnant at 48, I would feel nothing but huge gladness for you (and a more than a little tinge of envy!)

Lucky lucky you! HUGE congratulations!

startail · 25/10/2011 23:06

Congratulations and good luck.
My best friend had her first child just before her 43 birthday. I saw him for the first time yesterday, he's gorgeous

scottishmummy · 25/10/2011 23:13

congratulations,learn the face when folk are facetious
serene outward,inward thinking tosser

notlettingthefearshow · 25/10/2011 23:17

I don't blame you for arming yourself as you'll definitely get some comments. But I think everyone gets them to some extent - I have had a number of negative comments even from friends despite the fact there is nothing unusual in my situation, in that I...

am in my mid thirties
and newly married (after 4 years together)
and we had just bought a 4 bed house
we both have stable jobs
it's our first baby

And still the shock! And questions about whether it was planned!

Some people ARE narrow minded and have very set ideas about having children - when, how many, the age gap, living and marital situation etc

To any dubious / less than thrilled responses, I always reply how happy and lucky we feel. Just in case they have any doubts. I suggest you do the same.

Personally I know many 40somethings having babies and I'm not surprised at all. I am always more shocked when 20 year olds or younger get pregnant as it's the last thing I would have wanted at that age. So maybe we all have our preconceptions, just depending on background ...?

Fiercelydoesit · 25/10/2011 23:26

As a professional and high flying mother of 4 I am sure you have been called upon to concoct numerous 'think on your feet' original and inventive responses for your existing children and I am sure you will be well placed to deal with the curve balls . . No doubt your devoted eldest children will also be able to jump in on your behalf when required. All the best. And congratulations.

CannibalBitsArrrgh · 25/10/2011 23:42

Awww am totally jealous! I would love another baby but I'm all of 39 and have 6 DC already - and a brand spanking new grandson (5 weeks) so I think I might be pissing on my daughters chips if I have another baby

rattie77 · 25/10/2011 23:45

Congratulations. I can really understand how you feel, I had my last DC at 45 after a 16 year gap - he was my 7th. I used to lie in bed thinking responses to what people would say about my age - but no-one ever has - certainly not to my face anyway. It is always "how many is that now?" , It never ceases to amaze me, they are more concerned with the number of children I have than my age. I don't know any other mums in my town who are my age or older, though I am sure there must be some - but it's fine. He was 3 last Saturday and a delight - enjoy!

ouryve · 25/10/2011 23:56

Congratulations!

DH got the snip when I was barely 48, but with 2 kids with SN, the youngest being 18 months at the time, we really were done by then! We didn't want to be outnumbered by them! I'm perimenopausal at 42, now anyhow, but, if you're fertile and up for it, hats off to yer!

ouryve · 25/10/2011 23:57

Had my youngest at the baby age of 36, btw

ouryve · 25/10/2011 23:58

and that was 38!

ShockinHolyTempers · 26/10/2011 00:13

Congratulations Marie!! [hgrin]

I just found out today I'm pregnant with my first at nearly 42. Was not planned! Very shocked and nervous but also happy! [hgrin][hgrin][hgrin]

lottielou39 · 26/10/2011 00:14

Congratulations! I'm 38 and 34 weeks pregnant with our third baby. I haven't mentioned a word on Facebook; am planning to just put up a birth announcement the day/week she's born and shock 'em all! I was worried about all the same things as you- we've two older children and I knew that everybody would assume it was a mistake, or that we were being irresponsible etc.. and the people we have told (not on Facebook) have had a few predictably depressing reactions, ie. 'are you mad?'
Seriously, do what I'm doing.. say not a word on Facebook till much much later on, or even wait till baby is born, then post a snap of you and baby and see if any miserable twats dare rain on your parade. Sod 'em!

ShockinHolyTempers · 26/10/2011 00:18

I'm not putting anything on Facebook either Lottie! This will be a mystery babby!

molly3478 · 26/10/2011 07:55

I think people are bound to mention it as pesonally I have never met anyone of that age have a baby in RL. The oldest mum I know had a baby at 43 and she is constantly saying wish I was younger, started early as others etc. She says the hardest bit is tiredness and people think shes the nan.

I think the pregnancy will bound to be a talking point as it is at the extreme end of the spectrum like being pregnant at 13. Just ignore it

theDudesmummy · 01/11/2011 13:17

I have to say that if my pregnancy was a talking point I certainly never knew about it! My DS is my one and only (born when I was nearly 46 as I said) and I did not plan him to be quite that late (recurrent miscarriages).

I am tired all the time, it is true. I do often reflect on the fact that my grandmother became a granny at 41 and I only became a mother at nearly 46.

eaglewings · 01/11/2011 13:23

CONGRATULATIONS

You make me feel young at 43, ttc #4. stories like yours give me hope

People will always make comments, if it is really bad you can always use the MN catch phrase
"did you mean to sound that rude?"

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