to think my lazy DH may have caused this to happen???

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

For the first time ever, I have been attaching DH in my sleep :( I have no idea I am doing it and this morning he showed me the stratches I made last night.

I seem to think someone is about to 'get me' and scream for DH to help etc.

The only thing I can think of that is triggering it, is the worry I feel as DH often forgets to lock up at night. It is really making me cross as we have 2 small DC in the house and it is scary to think the doors are not locked.

I have never had anything like this before but it is becoming a very regular event. DH's arm looks terible today! :(

This is one of those threads isn't it.

AIBU?
Yes.
No I'm not.
YABU.
No I'm not.
YABU because XYZ.
No I'm not.
YABVU.
NO I'M NOT
YABU.
You're all bullies.

'This thread was pulled because, let's face it, it turned into a bit of a bunfight.'

jyst lock yourself to be sure FFS!

Yes, people get burgled. But I suspect that whether or not their back door is locked makes very little difference the whether you are or not.

Oh, and your children are not going to be stolen from their beds. They really aren't.

Firstly, tryingtobemarypoppins2 - you are being unreasonable to use the passive-aggressive 'I thought MN was supposed to be supportive' line, when people haven't all agreed with you.

If I have read your OP correctly, you have been suffering night terrors for a while, where you think someone's about to 'get' you, and you scream for help. Last night was the first time this translated into a physical attack where you scratched your dh.

To me, this says that this isn't a 'one off' problem - it is more deep-seated than that, and is becoming worse, because you have gone from crying out in fear to actually hurting someone. Just because of this fact, I would say that you do need to go and seek professional help with this problem.

I do think your dh is being unreasonable when he 'forgets' to lock the house up at night, when he knows that it causes you worry and stress if the house isn't secure. But if this is what is causing your night terrors, then him locking the house up might not be the whole solution. I would assume that it could take some time (weeks, maybe) before you were sufficiently sure he was doing it reliably for your subconscious to be convinced there's no threat any more, which should enable the night terrors to subside. Therefore, I do think that you should seek professional help with your anxieties now, so that you can tackle this issue from both sides at once - the professional help side plus your dh reliably shutting the door, so the anxiety at the bottom of this problem is allayed.

If you're attacking your partner in your sleep, you should be sleeping in separate beds (or if you don't have another bed, on the sofa). It's not reasonable at all to blame him. And you should probably see your GP if this is more than a one-off.

And lock up and check the doors yourself. If you're so anxious, I would have thought you'd want to do that anyway. I do understand the anxiety, I take security very seriously since a bad experience last year. But that's all the more reason that you should both check, don't leave it to your DH to be solely responsible.

Your poor husband.

Oh my good lord. So being in disagreement with you means that I'm unsupportive? You have a strange and a little warped opinion about support then!

Do your friends always agree with you even if they think you're wrong? Ridiculous!

I think you're wrong, I'm sorry about that, but I do.

You won't deal with your own issue, whatever the hell it is... So instead it's your husband's fault. It's pretty black & white from where I'm sitting

You can read any posts of mine that you like I'm just the same everywhere, and also in real life. I just would prefer not to bullshit.

is someone going in and out through the back door during the evening?

In our house, if the back door is locked at (say) 6pm on Monday, it is still locked at 8am on Tuesday (in fact far longer than that)

If people in your house CBA to lock the doors, you need to get some auto-deadlocking BS nightlatches. However they are not as good as, and more expensive than, the ordinary BS mortice deadlocks that grown-ups use.

This is not really the point though.

The OP said that her dh does go in and out through the back door after she's gone to bed - iirc, she said he was going to the office (I am assuming a home office in a shed/outbuilding) or to the firewood store.

Blimey we only lock our doors when we go out & I'd probably start to feel anxious with the amount of dead bolting going on in this thread [hwink]