Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my lazy DH may have caused this to happen???

85 replies

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 24/10/2011 21:08

For the first time ever, I have been attaching DH in my sleep :( I have no idea I am doing it and this morning he showed me the stratches I made last night.

I seem to think someone is about to 'get me' and scream for DH to help etc.

The only thing I can think of that is triggering it, is the worry I feel as DH often forgets to lock up at night. It is really making me cross as we have 2 small DC in the house and it is scary to think the doors are not locked.

I have never had anything like this before but it is becoming a very regular event. DH's arm looks terible today! :(

OP posts:
MyNameIsLola · 24/10/2011 22:33

The two issues are seperate.

Your DH IBU for not securing your home.

You can't help what you do in your sleep but you should seek some help to overcome your night terrors.

Is you DH understanding about it?

AbbyAbsinthe · 24/10/2011 22:35
Kayano · 24/10/2011 22:36

Eeeeee hey trying
No need to be rude to Abby 'luv'

Your first post near the bottom says its becoming a regular event, which could be easily read as you doing this to h is becoming a regular event...

She was only pointing out the discrepancy (or apparent discrepancy) in your own OP?

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 24/10/2011 22:48

" for your strange sleep disorder"
that is rudeness.... unless you are a GP or sleep expert Abby??

MyNameIsLola thanks, yes he has really listened tonight and when I made the point that the children are not safe without us locking up the penny dropped I think. He has just locked up :)

OP posts:
Jamesmumhasgotitgoinon · 24/10/2011 22:51

yeah seriously, nothing bad happened he just fled (with my bag which had left on newel post), was just opportunist. Wouldn't have happened if front door had been locked.

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 24/10/2011 22:54

Jamesmumhasgotitgoinon you poor thing! Glad you were ok, hope the bugger was caught?!

OP posts:
Kayano · 24/10/2011 22:54

Well I would also consider that a 'strange sleep disorder' attacking ppl in your sleep

And I say that as someone who also suffers from a 'strange sleep disorder' . Not been to GP as mine is just gettig up and about and having conversations etc but I would not be offended if someone referred to it as strange

It's not rude... You are doing something strange, that you did not used to do... In your sleep?
She didn't try to diagnose you or give it a name

OTheHugeWerewolef · 24/10/2011 22:57

Write a big sign to put on the doors to remind your DH to lock up if he goes to bed after you. Then find a good psychoanalyst. Your subconscious is playing tricks on you and whatever is at the root of it is unlikely to be cured just by locking doors at night.

AbbyAbsinthe · 24/10/2011 23:14

Hahaa! You think that's being rude? Grin

You don't think attacking and scratching your husband in your sleep is strange? I do.

What's even more strange is that you think it's ok because he was silly enough to forget to lock the door once.

Let's hope he remembers to take the bins out, or he might wake up with a black eye Grin

AbbyAbsinthe · 24/10/2011 23:15

And no, despite my sarcasm, I'm not trying to be offensive by calling it a strange sleep disorder. I think it is.

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 25/10/2011 08:11

and there was me thing MN was meant to be a supportive forum.....even in AIBU you can just state your view and leave it there......seems not AbbyAbsinthe. You seem to take delight in being ott......not that i have looked at your other posts ;) BTW had a good nights sleep, DH did lock the doors (not sure what you mean about once) and also I slept the other side of the bed away from the door.......no problems last night.

OP posts:
seeker · 25/10/2011 08:18

"As you can't lock up due to him coming to bed later, you have every right to be annoyed. It is a safety issue and he is letting his DC down."

"letting his dcs down" by forgetting to lock up occasionally? Oh, Ffs!

NinkyNonker · 25/10/2011 08:21

Yabu. Not that you'll accept that but hey Ho.

EightiesChickOrTreat · 25/10/2011 08:23
  1. Note on the outside of the bedroom door reminding him to lock up if he hasn't already.
  2. Deadbolt so the door locks itself every time you come in.

Sorted [taking credit for suggestions other people have already made emoticon]

belgo · 25/10/2011 08:23

How often is the door unlocked when you go downstairs in the morning? Does he forget nearly every night or is it a one off?

I think the suggestions of putting reminder signs on the door is a good idea.

Do you feel anxiety in other areas of your life? The sort of anxiety that is leading you to attack your dh while asleep, really isn't normal, especially if it is happening more then once.

Amateurish · 25/10/2011 08:31

Is there some part of your bedtime routine which might make you anxious? Are you watching TV last thing before going to sleep?

Triggles · 25/10/2011 09:43

I have difficulty sleeping if I haven't checked the locks on the doors, even if DH says he has locked them. He tends to be a bit forgetful, so by agreement, I always check the locks before we go to bed. Regardless of whether or not h's checked them. DH thinks it's slightly amusing, but accepts that it's just something I need to do. It's not a huge deal.

ScarahStratton · 25/10/2011 09:49

Agree with Thingumy.

Now turn it round so you are the last one in bed. What would you be saying if your DH was attacking you in his sleep.

Bet you'd be telling him to get up and lock up himself. Cut your nails, get a deadbolt, and stop blaming everyone else.

DoMeDon · 25/10/2011 10:14

Did you have a point seeker ffs?

seeker · 25/10/2011 10:21

Yes I did have a point. You are not "letting your children down" if you forget to lock the back door. Unless you live in downtown Beirut.

You are possible slightly more likely to be burgled if you don't lock the door. But you pretty unlikely to be burgled anyway.

DoMeDon · 25/10/2011 10:27

OP's DH forgets to lock the door regularly- a one off is a mistake, we all make them- but being lax about the safety of your family is letting them down.

Hardly warrants a 'ffs' - it's a difference of opinion.

NoNoNoMYDoIt · 25/10/2011 10:28

seeker - i think i'd feel i had let my kids down if i didn't lock the back door and got burgled and their stuff got nicked. i would also feel like i would be exposing them to unnecessary risk by leaving the back door unlocked, because it's not only burglary that could happen.

as an aside, a friend of mine got burgled on sunday night. they cleared the place out - took 2 cars, incl car seats / prams, laptops, keys, camera, purse etc. ALL the photos of the kids gone. they got in through the back door and there is a possibility that back door was unlocked at the time...

so it DOES happen. oh and she doesn't live in downtown Beirut, either...

MoaninMinny · 25/10/2011 10:46

we hardly ever lock our back door

but then we do have three extremely large dogs who would pin anyone jumping over the back fence to the wall and bark to tell us.

Ormirian · 25/10/2011 10:50

I am always forgetting to lock the doors when I go to bed. DH does it but when he's out they are often left unlocked until he gets home. So far he has failed to slash me to bits with his nails. I will invest in some chain mail just in case.

DoMeDon · 25/10/2011 10:53

I do think that being burgled changes your perspective- I am a lot more concerned about door locking than others by the sound of it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread