To Think No-one Enjoys Sex "The 1st Time"

[afteralongsquawk]

Had a Gels' Night Out last night - 1st in ages - and we got onto "losing our virginities" (only once each, mind); it was very clear that none of us had enjoyed it at all!

Sort of perversely glad that mine was the grimmest on offer: 15 1/2 / best friend's 16th / bathroom floor / best friend's brother (18) who I really fancied / tipsy but not drunk / forgot to say NO / he went straight in like a loony, so painful that I thought something had gone wrong & that I would die / he took ages to finish, but as soon as he did he sprinted downstairs to broadcast what had happened / when I tried to emerge inconspicuously a long while later, I was greeted with cheers, clapping, wolf-whistles etc / then his mum publicly denounced me as a cheap slut who was trying to ruin his life, & ordered me out of the house.

I think I only stayed sane because my best friend went postal on his mum, walked me home & stayed the night on my floor; & didn't speak to his brother for several years. Given I was mid-cycle, I have no idea how I did not get pg, except that I know that he has been married twice and had many tarts but no kids, so may be infertile - YIPEE!!!

I made a vow then that I would never have sex again. I kept it for almost 2 years, after which I became an enthusiast [grin}...

Being serious, most girls lose it age 14 - 18 to boys about the same age; and they are much more concerned about how it is for them than how it is for you - when they come, they assume you're happy: have I got that right? Did anyone actually enjoy it? [envy}

Comments? Your own experience etc?

I did enjoy it at the time, looking back it was not great sex but very emotionally charged. I was 19/20 though.

I thought it was all a bit scary, but not that bad.

Tarts? Why not girlfriends, or partners? Why were they tarts?

I enjoyed mine. Was 17, had been seeing him for about 3 months, lots of pre fumbling etc. When we did the deed I was prepared, it didn't hurt or feel uncomfortable, had a grin on my face the next day.

Don't want to go into details. No. Not nice. Several after bad as a result too. You just never expect a friend to be that way. Nuff said.

Yours sounds awful :( Sorry that happened to you.

Mine was nondescript. Took months and months of trying to get it to work so it was pretty clinical in the end. Looking back probably just wasn't ready for sex even though I was convinced I was really old at 18 to be a virgin, so clearly I must be ready. Didn't actually have enjoyable sex until about a year later, although that guy then turned out to be an abusive tosser so only had actual mutually enjoyable sex with him a few times before he started pressuring me for it.

No, not all teenage boys think like that, and I'm sure a good proportion of people have nice experiences.

I wouldn't know but will let you know when I get to that stage :0

I did, I was terribly young too, but it was great, its been much better since obviously but that comes from working out what works for you doesnt it? so only trial and error can help in that respect. My sex life has been quite colourful, but enjoyable and safe. :)

Was ok, got better with practice - somehow everyone soldiers on don't they :o

Mine was in a bed with someone I thought I loved and he loved me, I was nearly 17 and had been in a relationship with him for 4 months. We went out for three years, I can honestly say I enjoyed it a lot.

Awful experience for me too. I just wanted to 'lose it' for some reason and did so after about 6 weeks with a boyfriend at 15. I really regret it. He wasn't who I thought he was and sort of stalked me on and off for the next 10 years! The nutter still regularly tries to contact me via social networking sites trying to make out how 'I've missed out'. Er, I don't think so mate!

Just before I met DH a few years later, I bumped into him in after work and agreed to go for a drink with him. He tried to convince me that we should be together, spoke of marriage and when I explained that I wasn't interested he flounced off. I got the bus home unbeknown to me, this little twat had followed me onto my bus and tried to sexually assault me as a walked home from. The bus stop. Luckily I was rather a fiesty and strong 18 year old and fought him off with a few punches and kicks and ran home. I was so shocked, I didn't tell anyone even though my Dad pushed for me to tell him what happened. I didn't tell him because I was afraid that my Dad would batter him and get in trouble. I put it to the back of my mind and moved on.

Fast forward a few years and I was sat in a bar with work colleagues in my first post uni role. Nutter stalker happens to be in the same bar with a bunch of his colleagues. He comes over, taps me on the shoulder and witters on about how he is now a social worker, working with vulnerable teens. Realising how uncomfortable I was, one of my colleagues took him to one side and told him to fuck off.

I wish I'd reported him to the police for the attempted sexual assault.

I think that the clue to it being crap is that you were 15 and that it was on the bathroom floor at a birthday party with friend's brother !!
:o

My first time was great. Hurt for a millisecond then it felt fab. Had not so great times after that but will never regret my first time.

I enjoyed it.

I was 21 and it was my wedding night, very flash hotel, after lush wedding to best man in universe.

We were not great as not experienced, but have got quite a bit better over the years! practice makes perfect etc.

mine was with someone i was very much in love with (we seperated a few months after got back together and later got married then seperated again). i was 17. i can remember thinking is this what it is all about must ring my best friend and tell her all about.

it was nice, he was very gentle it was not great sex but it got a lot better

Was not technically very exciting but had really been looking forward to it with boyfriend I was really close to, so emotionally quite fulfilling. In common with a number of other posters above, i was older rather than younger (19).

I didn't. I suspect that technically it was rape. He was 32, I was 15. I decided against at the last minute. He didnt get that.So no, it wasn't fun.

Is there a pattern emerging that says the younger, the less pleasant it seems to be?

I don't regret mine, just turned 14 he was just turned 17 and we had been together for 6 weeks.

We had tried a couple of times before but didnt work as we were both nervous (he was a virgin too). He was so gentle and caring.

We stayed together for nearly 4 years

Looks that way doesn't it whatmeworry? I think you know a lot more about who you are and what you want by the time you are 20ish as opposed to 15ish.

Yabu. I was 22 and it was fine.

Age does seem to make a difference doesn't it.

I was 16 and lost mine during a threesome with 2 guys, who were 19. I really enjoyed it. I'm certainly not that adventurous any more but I'm glad I was when I was younger.

Bathroom floors are popular aren't they?? I was 15 and had been pursuing him for ages. He was careful. It was exactly how I hoped it would be. No regrets nearly 30 years on. Although what advice I give my newly teenage daughter is another thing.....!

15 and it was brilliant. He was soooooooooo sexy and knew exactly how to make a young woman feel amazing. I don't know many women who orgasmed during their first time, but I did. Then again, he was French.

I was 17, it was ok.

Sorry to hear the grim starts but it wasn't like that for me. Mine was at 15 to a BF just a week older than me and it was approached a lot like best mates doing a science experiment! Actually was enjoyable and fun. Probably that stable BF side and good friendship made it feel totally safe and was more important than the precise age it happened at.