To Think No-one Enjoys Sex "The 1st Time"

[afteralongsquawk]

Had a Gels' Night Out last night - 1st in ages - and we got onto "losing our virginities" (only once each, mind); it was very clear that none of us had enjoyed it at all!

Sort of perversely glad that mine was the grimmest on offer: 15 1/2 / best friend's 16th / bathroom floor / best friend's brother (18) who I really fancied / tipsy but not drunk / forgot to say NO / he went straight in like a loony, so painful that I thought something had gone wrong & that I would die / he took ages to finish, but as soon as he did he sprinted downstairs to broadcast what had happened / when I tried to emerge inconspicuously a long while later, I was greeted with cheers, clapping, wolf-whistles etc / then his mum publicly denounced me as a cheap slut who was trying to ruin his life, & ordered me out of the house.

I think I only stayed sane because my best friend went postal on his mum, walked me home & stayed the night on my floor; & didn't speak to his brother for several years. Given I was mid-cycle, I have no idea how I did not get pg, except that I know that he has been married twice and had many tarts but no kids, so may be infertile - YIPEE!!!

I made a vow then that I would never have sex again. I kept it for almost 2 years, after which I became an enthusiast [grin}...

Being serious, most girls lose it age 14 - 18 to boys about the same age; and they are much more concerned about how it is for them than how it is for you - when they come, they assume you're happy: have I got that right? Did anyone actually enjoy it? [envy}

Comments? Your own experience etc?

OP I have to say that sounds like rape to me.

I enjoyed my first time very much.

I was 16, almost 17, DH was 17, it was lovely, he was very, erm, eager I'd never been properly snogged before, let alone had someone's tongue down my throat.
He still snogs me like an over excited 17 year old now, 28 years later.

I was 15 too as was bf. First time for both of us and dated for about 4 months. It hurt like hell I bled for ages, couldn't sit down for a few hours then he told everyone at school I was 'crap'

Not great when your father is head master!

He kind of went in alongside it, I was a bit carried away and completely forgot. It did take a bit of fishing around to retrieve it though, especially as it had got turned upside down during proceedings

I was 14 , with a BF of 8 months. I enjoyed it.

I felt terribly old at the ripe old age of sixteen to be loosing my cherry all my mates seemed to be two or three years ahead and I was getting desperate. But wanted a real top notch "catch" to lose it with (how very mature), so, I went to topshop with my saturday job wages, got myself a really classy boob tube and pencil skirt (very late nineties) , put my thickest layer of coffee shimmer lippy on along with three years worth of other makeup, wrestled my hair into my best "Rachel" style French twist and tottered down to the local chain pub.

Over a crowded bar and the clouds of lambert and butler smoke I spotted him, one of a group of local bad boys we all used to sigh over. Looking at them now in their early thirties they all look like standard Wayne/Gary/Darren types who frequent football matches of a weekend and are all "self-employed" for a living. While stil, living at their mums. But this one was one I had had a few dalliances with in my ID free phase ( you know, where you get the older boys to go to the bar for you, and arrive at the nightspot at 6pm before the bouncers start work). He was "fit" and also quite quite bladdered. He took me back to his DES res with the girlie posters on the wall, made a woman of me and then fell asleep right on top of my tiny size 6 frame. I managed to roll him off and spent the rest of the night grinning to myself and listening to the craig David cd he had left playing before going to sleep. He woke up several times in the night and I got my practise in. Then in the morning he waved me off on the walk of shame. I got back to my best friends house and she bought me a macdonalds breakfast to celebrate. Ah, memories.

He is actually a nice lad and I didn't tell him it was my first time. I told him years later (we were shag buddies between relationships for a while) and he was shocked, he said if he'd have known he would have made it more special (probably had one less pint or covered his porn posters). I was happy, I got what I wanted and he didn't guess I was a virgin, for some reason that was my biggest fear.

I'm not sure I should say anything; you see my father doesn't know, and I'd rather he didn't find out...

I was 21, and we'd been out riding for the day - families like ours ride a lot - and my friend had brought along his friend; well, what can I say? He was simply the most handsome man I had ever seen, he took my breath away (despite his foreign background). Then that night, after dinner (we were all staying at my parents' house), he came to my room quite uninvited - I was so shocked! - but then I just couldn't resist him, you see he was so handsome - and we did it - and then - oh, God, it was awful - he died! I mean, one minute he was alive and the next - !

I had to get my mother and one of the servants to help me take him back to his room. I can't tell you how we managed it, but we did, thank God, the scandal would have been ghastly. I know my sister found out. I don't know how, but she did. Don't tell anyone, will you, please?

Aged 19, BF of 6 months. He had, very generously and patiently, "waited until I was ready", whilst pressuring and coercing me into doing other things. I was not ready, but felt I had kept him waiting long enough. It was a bit crap, and painful.

Been married to him for 7 years. The pressure and coercion still comes up sometimes. And it's still a bit crap.

I'm jealous of all you who did it with boyfriends you had for a while, and it was all planned and romantic.i feel as if I tricked the lad into thinking I was sexually competent, and luckily as he was pissed he didn't realise I was a virgin. And I was glad about the fact I pulled it off! I think in the crowd I hung out with, it was seen as embarrassing if you were sexually inexperienced, really I so wish I'd waited for someone special and been proud about waiting.

I was 18 and he was 22. It hurt but I didn't bleed. I enjoyed it but definitely not as much as the pain free 3rd and 4th times. We're married now, have been for almost 4 years. :) not a bad experience at all.

peppermintpanda and frightful.

I was 17 and I thought it was an achievement that I felt nothing (as opposed to pain). It never occurred to me that it might be enjoyable tbh. I'd gone out with him because Jackie magazine had said you needed to give boys a chance even if you didn't fancy them, and since we had nothing in common we had nothing to talk about except whether we would have sex or not. I had sex with someone I actually fancied for the first time years later and worked out that it's pretty different in that scenario.

God, no, I didn't enjoy it.

I was (a very young) 14 and crazily in love with my boyf, 16+ who was not a virgin and had hang ups about the girl he'd lost his with - secretly still mad on her - though not very secretly, the twat.

I wanted him to be my first, but he shunned me because of it.

My virginity was something I had to get rid of, he never wanted to have sex with a virgin...?! I'd thought it was every guy's dream!!!

So, we split up eventually, after over a year of being on off, I got a new boyf, got pissed, had a drunken fumble that wasn't quite sex (I kicked him off me and spent the rest of the party bent over the bath in my friend's house washing and re washing my hair because I felt dirty) so, I dunno, I assume word got out to my first love, and we got back together and MONTHS later had sex.

I was 16+ by then. It was also horrible.

Is LMC for real ???

It's Downton Abbey! Her username is a character from that programme.

It was good - absolutely no regrets. I was 16, he was 17. We were both in L6 and had been going out for 6 months. Planned for a weekend his parents went away and we did it 3 times that first night. He was a virgin too.

We broke up when we went to uni and married other people but we're still friends.

Not great in my case but there was no malice involved, just incompetence. He was my boyfriend of a couple of months and we were sort of 'in love' (I was 18), but the actual doing it was clumsy and uncomfortable and I bled for a few days. I decided that sex was very over-rated at that point, but about 6 months later I hooked up with an Older Man (oh, all of 24) who actually knew what he was doing, and changed my mind [hgrin].

PMP...ah, I see

I was 16, he was 18/19

it was ok

he turned out later to be a faithless bastard who fucked with my head, but they do say you give too much of yourself away with your "first"

I was 16, he was 24. He booked a lovely hotel for us (well, looking back it was fairly mediocre but at the time I thought it was quite swish!) and we were both sober. We'd been seeing each other for about 6 months, had gone pretty far beyond kissing already and I'd always been quite comfortable with my body/sexuality (discovered masturbation quite young, had already used toys on myself so no hymen/stretching issues).

I did enjoy it, though I've had much better sex since .

I don't think that being younger automatically means it will be crap. There's probably some correlation in that if you were younger you were more likely to have been pressured into it, or less likely to have been ready, or your judgement/boundaries weren't as strong as they would have been if you'd been older. But overall it's not always the case that young = crap.

I was 19, and it was terrible. He was in the middle of a psychotic episode (unbeknownst to me) He wasn't gentle and something ripped. I flooded bright red blood all over his bed. He freaked. I got up, wiped myself off, and went to my own bedroom. I was ashamed so I told all my friends at the time I had already slept with someone before him in case they asked.

Yuk.