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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have sex with my 9mo dd in the room?

99 replies

WhoahThereCrazyHorse · 23/10/2011 09:05

So. Large, child-safe room, DD playing happily on the floor, 5 min shag.

Oh and it's my birthday.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Voidka · 23/10/2011 11:00

I couldnt do it with a child in the room, it makes me feel a bit queasy.

BerryLellow · 23/10/2011 11:04

I wouldn't, and I don't want to heap the guilt on, but SGB has said ick so I think there's your :o

It won't have done any harm I'm sure. Unless your child has some hypnotherapy later in life and reveals all... :o :o :o

BimboNo5 · 23/10/2011 11:06

I always worry about the sort of people on here who cant seem to control their urges so try to justify shagging in front of a wide awake child/with a child breastfeeding off them. And lets not harp on about days gone by ffs they were less than ideal.

Iggly · 23/10/2011 11:08

Yabu.

And the comment about "primitive cultures" - I'm sure I've read somewhere that sex would happen during the day, eg when out in the fields working not in the home.

TheBestWitch · 23/10/2011 11:09

I the room was child safe and it was only going to be 5 mins Grin I'd have just nipped next door.
Me and dh do it downstairs now but when the ds was in his cot in our room we would do it quietly under the covers if it was pitch black and ds was asleep. Any babbling or signs of waking killed the mood immediately though.
I doubt was the op has done will harm the child in any way (unless you believe in Freud's bollocks theories) but I couldn't do it myself. At that age they're old enough to look at you which would be most off putting.

JeremyVile · 23/10/2011 11:12

Another yuk here. I'm sure it did her no harm but I find it weird either of you could get off knowing she was there.

catinthestripyhat · 23/10/2011 11:13

I found it more off putting when I was with an ex-boyfriend and his labrador puppy was at the end of the bed watching. I just could not get in the mood!! I reckon a 9 month old- maybe!!

ledkr · 23/10/2011 11:14

Ah ive got a 9 month old dd and i think she would be a bit Confused at the sight of me and dd shagging tbh.
I also agree that if sgb thinks its a bit yuck then it probably is Grin

ledkr · 23/10/2011 11:16

haha obviously dh not dd

maypole1 · 23/10/2011 11:27

I think iys yuk to not sure why your oh had a hard on when the child was laughing, chatting to itself in the room and you would also been able to see the child out the corner of your eye whilst you were getting IT yuk

Their was a thread a couple of months ago were a couple pulled into a lay by and the wife gave the oh head well what wrong with that you say the baby was stapped in he car seat in the back seat

on a different ,point

And to those who say theirs nothing wrong about about fucking in front of your kids one of the main things of children been abused is that the adults. Would be exposing them to sex either porn or allowing them to see them having sex

Allowing a child to view you getting it hard in my view is always wrong

Even in primitive cultures as people say they would wait until their children are asleep as as they usually are not leaving in a three bed house have no choice but we do their s no need

As as for co sleeps trying for babies yuk so your both naked fucking mean while your 5 year old sleeping right their in the bed with you dear lord

BerryLellow · 23/10/2011 11:29

Ok well I'm not quite as bothered as maypole.

BertieBotts · 23/10/2011 11:34

"one of the main things of children been abused is that the adults. Would be exposing them to sex either porn or allowing them to see them having sex"

Surely that's only if they are old enough to be aware? And isn't it "forcing" rather than "allowing"? You can't always know when they will wake up and come into your room, for example.

If they are young enough to be unaware, especially if you're hiding under the covers, it's ridiculous to say that it is damaging or abusive!

5 year old cosleeping while the parents are TTC right next to them? Hmm Oh please. You must know some very odd people.

Original poster
WhoahThereCrazyHorse · 23/10/2011 11:40

Goodness!

OP posts:
AVoidkaTheKillerZombies · 23/10/2011 11:42

Maypole I think you know some very odd people!

maypole1 · 23/10/2011 11:43

Someone a few pages ago mentioned that their friends who are co sleeping are actively trying for a baby whilst co sleeping

twinklytroll · 23/10/2011 11:53

I think Yabu to make do with a five minute shag in your birthday.

Dp and I co slept with our dd, we just had sex elsewhere.

QuietNinjaZombie · 23/10/2011 12:02

But maypole they didn't say how old the child is. You out 5 year old down not them.

QuietNinjaZombie · 23/10/2011 12:03

put 5 year old not out. Doh

GuillotinedMaryLacey · 23/10/2011 12:31

Well as a now pregnant co-sleeper with a 3.9yo I can categorically say that none of the attempts to produce a sibling were made in her presence. There are other rooms in the house!

margerykemp · 23/10/2011 12:39

Nothing wrong with doing it quietly under the covers.

LittleMissFlustered · 23/10/2011 12:46

Mumbling I'm queen of the quickie while the kids are otherwise engaged downstairs. The eldest has got to eight and not managed to electrocute herself on the DVD player so I think you're good to goWink

Dialsmavis · 23/10/2011 12:54

Yuck! sorry, fine if they are asleep or very young... 3 months or under. What would be your upper age limit for thinking this is OK? We have shoved DD in her cot for 5 mins before and left DS with DVD. But didin't she crawl over and see what you were up to?

Changing2011 · 23/10/2011 13:03

We have had sex when toddler dd was busy playing in her own room. We had sex this morning when dd now 6 was watching her millionth episode of Tom and jerry downstairs. we have also been known to stick a DVD on for her and go upstairs mid afternoon for a quickie. But not when she is in the room with us, I just wouldn't feel right plus I am usually quite ahem vocal despite my efforts!

ledkr · 23/10/2011 13:15

If all i could have was "a quickie under the covers" it probably wouldnt be worth the wet patch tbh Grin Id rather wait till she sleep and have a good one haha.
We occasionally let dd have a crawl around the room whilst we drink tea at 6am Hmm but its a matter of minutes before she's in the bin or trying to straighten her hair or break my necklaces.She is what they call "inquisitive"

spiderpig8 · 23/10/2011 13:16

YABU having sex infront of your awake child is child sex abuse.