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AIBU?

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Original poster

15yr Dd and sleepover!

66 replies

Madly · 22/10/2011 20:54

DD invited for sleepover at friends house tonight. I know the girl and her patents so am quite happy. Just this minute found out that friends parents are away so three 15yr olds are on their own. DH thinks absolutely not appropriate for parents to leave 15yr olds alone overnight and is going to collect DD at 11pm.

Are we being too overanxious or just careful? WWYD?

OP posts:
Kayano · 22/10/2011 20:55

Depends on the 15 year olds involved

They could move out next year no?

AgentZigzag · 22/10/2011 20:57

I wouldn't have left me at 15 Shock

But then maybe your DD is more sensible and not fucked up easily influenced by being with two other 15 YOs?

She does need independence...but then...I don't know... Grin

AnyPhantomFucker · 22/10/2011 20:58

I say collect your daughter

your DH is right

I have a 16yo dd

I wouldn't allow this

I would also be suspicious that she knew all along how this was going to go

OchAyeTheNooPal · 22/10/2011 20:58

How embarrasing for you DD! What are her friends like though?

hellhasnofury · 22/10/2011 20:58

I trusted my DD when she was that age, I'd have been happy for her to sleep over in that situation but I would've liked to have been fully informed before the sleepover took place and not on the day of it.

AnyPhantomFucker · 22/10/2011 20:59

embarassing for the girl ?

fuck that

parents in charge...come on now

HappyAsASandboy · 22/10/2011 21:04

Really? I stayed at sleepovers with no parents and a mixed boy/girl group of friends at 15. Nothing bad/wrong/illegal happened, but we had a lot if fun Smile. At 16, my parents went away and a friend moved in for two weeks ....

If they're all 15 and sensible girls, surely you can trust her?

AgentZigzag · 22/10/2011 21:05

I moved out at 16, and may have had something to say about my parents thinking they were in charge of me at 15/16 AF Grin

But embarrassing your children, I hope is just part and parcel of being a parent, and a sign that all's going well, isn't it?

OchAyeTheNooPal · 22/10/2011 21:06

Never said they were wrong to go collect the girl just how embarrasing for her.

I'd have been out with my friends at that age and if my dad knew he would have dragged my arse back home.

Cantilever · 22/10/2011 21:11

I agree with AnyPhantomFucker plus I'd be questioning the responsibility of the family for not having told me about it in advance.

AnyPhantomFucker · 22/10/2011 21:12

AZ...I am in charge of my child at 15/16

I am responsible for them

rather that, than the parents who give up responsibitlty around age 13 bcause it's "too difficult"

HowlingWereWolfBitch · 22/10/2011 21:13

Could be a good situation to show a little trust in DD. Could you ask her to ring you a few times tonight to make sure everything is OK?

If she doesn't ring then by all means go get her.

cat64 · 22/10/2011 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

squeakyfreakytoy · 22/10/2011 21:14

Hmmmm.... I am mixed about this one.

If they had gone camping for the night, would anyone really raise an eyebrow?

It depends on the maturity of the girls, and wether you think they are likely to have a load of boys round and turn it into a party.

If it is simply 3 girls having a girly night in, and you know and trust your daughter, then it would be OTT to go and drag her home.

Although in honesty, what can she do overnight that she wouldnt have already done before 11pm?

AnyPhantomFucker · 22/10/2011 21:15

squeaky...I wouldn't allow camping either

carabos · 22/10/2011 21:15

I would go and get her, simply to reassert your authority. They've plotted this from the off and not very cleverly.

And embarrassing your kids is all part of the fun - seize every chance to do it as payback for the times they've done it to you [hgrin].

Northernlurker · 22/10/2011 21:16

I wouldn't be keen tbh.

HowlingWereWolfBitch · 22/10/2011 21:17

Oh your mean carabos.

[hgrin]

HowlingWereWolfBitch · 22/10/2011 21:18

You're*

Doh.

squeakyfreakytoy · 22/10/2011 21:23

My parents didnt allow camping either.

I wanted to go, so I lied. No mobile phones in those days, and we didnt have a house phone, so I knew I was pretty safe from being busted.

I went, along with a huge group of friends, boys and girls. We didnt do anything illegal, we didnt even have any alcohol.. we just had a laugh.. the girls slept in one tent, the boys in the other... and it was good fun.

I felt bad that I hadnt told my parents, but I knew they would have said I couldnt go.

I think you have to have some trust in your teens by the time they are 15, because in a years time, they will have a lot more freedom, and if they have been kept in parental chains, many are likely to kick out at the strike of midnight on their 16th birthday and get out of their depth.

I was a rebel teen, because I had very old fashioned parents, and very naive parents too at times, who I did completely take advantage of. My stepkids were not so lucky because I could see through any lies immediately, and they soon learned that with me, so long as they were honest, I would be reasonable and allow them to grow up.

troisgarcons · 22/10/2011 21:26

Flip side os what squeaky said - in this day and age of social net workd etc, and we've seen it in the press, when gatecrashers turn up and trash the house ...... on the face of it - I'd let her do it .... but it depends on the maturity of the children involved.

golemmings · 22/10/2011 21:28

At 15/16 I would only have been left home alone if I had a friend staying with me. I assume that my mate's folks knew that my parents were away though.

AnyPhantomFucker · 22/10/2011 21:28

you are falling back on a stereotype of the teen who kicks out on their 16th birthday, squeaky

I allow my dd to grow up, without us being "mates"

she is growing up with appropriate boundaries

I gave her freedom when she was 14/15

it didn't work, really it didn't

NotnOtter · 22/10/2011 21:28

i too am with dh

Original poster
Madly · 22/10/2011 21:28

Thanks for all your posts. Agree with almost everything said.
Yes I do trust my sensible DD, but annoyed that I was not notified until last minute about the girls being alone.

DH txt DD that she will be collected at 11pm and no doubt there will be some embarrassment but rather that than the other possible scenarios that we've all read about!

Give me babies over teenagers anytime
Confused

OP posts: