to think my 5yr old shouldn't be pushed around by teaching staff

[youcantparkthatthere]

Hi First post, this has been niggling away at me for a week now. I recently attended a ceremony and my sons school which was been held in the local church. He is in a class of perhaps 16 children. As I watched the children file in I became increasingly annoyed at how one of the teaching staff was manging the children. it was clearly the childrens first time at one of these events and they were understandably unsure of what to do. Some of the children were going into the pew in front of or behind the one the teacher wanted them to go in. However the teacher/TA's response to this was to repeatedly, and IMO, too roughly take hold of the children and physically direct them into their intended seats. We're not talking here about a guiding hand on their shoulders, more like two hands firmly on their shoulders abruptly turning them in the desired direction and pushing them into their intended place.
To me this is quite clearly using physical force to get a child to comply with instruction, as distinct from a reassuring physical guidance. In my line of work, social worker, this would be considered a breach of the children's act and consequently illegal. Similiarly if any of the staff I managed conducted themselves in this way, I would at the very least be forced to issue them with a formal warning.
I'm not a bleeding heart liberal, I believe children need very clear mangement and a sense of no meaning no, (along with yes meaning yes, i.e. keeping promises etc). The main thing that is getting to me is the fact that I'm sure the school would discourage the children behaving like this to one another, so the adults should be modelling this in their own behaviour.
I feel I need to speak to the headteacher but I'm worried this will either be blown out of proportion or minimised. I also dont want my son standing out in a small school as the child whose Dad interferes/overreacts.
Any thoughts. It pisses me of that people think they can negate childrens right to respect and civility just because their small.
In the spirit of fairness I should declare that I find the woman in question very cold and somewhat abrupt with the children, in stark contrast to the rest of the school team, (wholly unsuited to her job imho!)Sorry if too long.

You're over doing the is you saying i sinister
But hey,knock your self out
In a non sinister way of course

There are a number of comments that choose to focus on how I write or what I do for a living, rather than focus on the topic I was seeking help on as a parent-not a social worker. I think it is indeed vile to take the oppurtunity to mock me as OP in preference to commenting on the issue at hand however pompous it came across as.

Tha fact that the majority of the comments were about SW's or bloody talking sticks does, I think, let me reasonably conclude that to the majority of the posters it is more important to minimise the incident in favour of a good joke and therefore dont find children being treated that disagreeable. Perfectly competent interpretation whether you like it or not.

Interesting though that as soon as any comment comes close to touching the nerves of those who were previously very sarcastic in their comments, back they come in a very serious tone. And I'm pompous FGS.

My son is being pushed and pulled around in a way that isn't needed, I dont want to compromise his experience at school, i dont want to demonise a member of staff, despite my view of her as an individual I dont think she is being malicious nor targetting my son. I suspect more than anything she is not getting the right supervision and guidance in dealing with children, she's been a TA for 25 years, things have moved on in how we treat children since she began the work.

This is a legitimate worry that I had hoped people could help with.
Dont know what else to say other than I am sure those who choose to laugh first would have reacted differently if they observed their child been treated in the way I saw mine being.

Again hands up to writing style etc, and i'm up for a laugh as much as anyone-much needed in my line of work but enough of the mocking what is a shitty thing for a 5 yr old to put up with.

Again, report any comments you find offensive.

I take my lovely kindness and explanation back.

You are determined to take personal insult so go and enjoy yourself you miserable old curmudgeon. Have a good old huff and puff and feel hard done by. That'll do you the world of good.

What worries me most is that you are a social worker. Probably if it is up to you most parents should face proceedings for child abuse as you state that even parents are not allowed to push their own child ....

I hope you lose your job soon, you are a danger to the general public, and a big cost to the tax payer if you are indeed serious. However, I don't think you are, I think you are just a wind up.

Well I don't know what to say as I agreed with you anyway. Me and my lentil-weaving tendencies and batik waistcoats and all. Except that I don't think you've had a hard time - more a gentle ribbing.

I gave you a serious answer and made myself look really boring in the process.

It's bad practice, but not illegal.

Now tell us a joke, OP

scottish

Pipe down dikkert what a daft thing to say.comment on his op by all means but his professional competence and abilities - no

This is a legitimate worry that I had hoped people could help with.

And several people did. Sorry, lost track of pages, but someone (ScottishMummy?) listed several, very sensible sounding steps allowing you to raise the issue with the appropriate people in a proportionate way.

Yes, there was a wild detour at the beginning of the thread (and between you, me and the computer a bit of a love-in between posters who know each other), but it was a fairly typical MN response.

Everyone here is in agreement that man-handling children is wrong (We'll overlook your unfortunate comment to the contrary). You saw the incident. You have a gut feel about it. If you would like to raise it with someone, do so following some of the helpful comments posted.

Table off for her very fairly trade and super organic lentil biscuit.

Apologies - yes it was Head Girl Teth

What is the "twit" one?

Why shouldn't it be here Maryz? Are you suspicious ?

. I missed The Twit. I genuinely don't think anyone has been horrible to the OP. Or a very few maybe.

And I've still not got my waistcoat back.

The twit one was pulled because the OP thought she might be identified. But she needn't have worried- there are obviously plenty of other equally precious loonies.

we did not see the incident; so its difficult to say. I assume children were not falling over as they were pushed. That would be a no,no.

Maryz....Being anonymous here does allow people to be nastier than they would be in real life. (Except at pub closing time at weekends)

Serious answer alert...

OP I was not there, I cannot judge how rough the assistant was, however, I don't think from the sound of it that it bothered the children that much so from this I will say I think you sound like you are overreacting. That said, since it made you uncomfortable I would ask to have a quiet word with the HT and just explain that you thought it was on the excessive side. That's it, the school can handle it quietly and discreetly.

On another note as a bit of advice you are coming across a bit preachy. Sometimes threads go off topic a bit, don't take it personally, yes not so helpful to you but don't let it bother you (and if you do preach then you might get one of those flamings you queried)...

Are good manners still taught in schools? What did you lot make of EDUCATING ESSEX on Channel 4 TV? Any of you got kids at that school.

Wot?

OP, you got 9 responses- roughly half of which were supportive or asked for more info - before you posted for the second time. Your second post was - IMO - very, very funny, although probably not in the way you intended. It's Friday morning and it then all went a bit bonkers. Dry your eyes, there are no vile comments here - I have just read the entire thread. In amongst the back-and-forth there are supportive comments with good advice. Finally, this is AIBU and people will use their words in all sorts of ways to tell you when they think you are, em, BU. I still do, but if you're going to throw your toys out of the pram about it, then I'm afraid I'm outta here...

SENORITA gives sound advice.....lot to be said for discretion.

I suppose it is difficult to understand other peoples problems. Because a lot of us worry about different kind of things.

We can only do our best when giving advice.