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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Supermarket car park staff member - WIBU?

305 replies

HalloweenOutThatPumpkin · 18/10/2011 22:21

AIBU, SN, Waitrose and the car park. I must be stark raving mad, but here goes ...

I shop in the same branch of Waitrose every other day and have done for years. All the regular staff know me and the guys who collect the trolleys are among them.

This evening half the car park was totally empty so instead of driving round the one way system shown by the arrows I nipped into the "down" lane, parked in the first space and got out of the car.

Cue fairly large trolley bloke who has SN of some sort (not sure what they are because he never talks to anyone as far as I know) shouting "Eh! Eh!" at me and pointing at the ground. I couldn't work out what he meant and just looked confusedly back at him. After a minute or so of this he walked over and shouted right in my face "One Way, One Way" and pointed at the arrow. I said that there were no other cars there so I couldn't see the problem. He followed me round the car, still shouting "One Way" at me while I hunted for my bags. It was after dark, there was no one else around and I felt quite intimidated so after I had scarpered to the shop I mentioned it at the customer service desk. I just said that it was quite an outburst and it had left me feeling a bit shaken.

Now I am not sure if I did the right thing. I don't think he will lose his job over it or anything that drastic, but should I have simply thought "the guy has SN, he obviously needs people to follow rules, I've broken them and I should suck it up", or was I right to complain about him shouting at me?

OP posts:
Sevenfoldedbloodybodies · 19/10/2011 11:24

the op is shit stirring imo she knew full well her op was full of crap, posted it know that a lot of people on mn love a bit of sn bashing,
I hope she gets banned from the shop for dangerous driving

AllThreeWays · 19/10/2011 11:41

I have a son with SN, part ofhis disability mean that he tends to hit other kids, should he just be allowed to, or should he be taught it is not on?
Tolerance of limitation should not be an excuse to demand acceptance of intimidation.
The man followed he and shouted in her face.

MrBloomsNursery · 19/10/2011 11:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

mumblechum1 · 19/10/2011 11:50

Sorry if I'm repeating someone (don't have time to read all 200 posts!), but sounds like the guy is deaf. OP says he ignored her previously when she talked about the weather, said thanks etc.

I would have assumed that if someone didn't reply to me on previous occasions, and had very limited speech last night, did so because he was deaf.

I wouldn't have complained in these circs, I've been told off by a Waitrose car park guy before for inconsiderate parking and just said sorry and moved my car, like any normal person would.

senua · 19/10/2011 11:58

Where was she supposed to move to, mumblechum? Where she was parked wasn't the question; it was the route to get there.Confused

GuillotinedMaryLacey · 19/10/2011 12:02

You should have followed the bloody rules

There are no bloody rules!!! FFS this is getting very tedious now.

SqueezeMeBakingPowder · 19/10/2011 12:04

I think there is nothing wrong with going the wrong way in a supermarket car park which is empty, it seems ridiculous to go around a one way system when there are no there cars around, however this car park attendant/trolley collector was around and OP may not have spotted him on entering.
As this man has SN which could mean he gets upset if people break 'rules' (used loosely in a private car park) and more importantly OP knew he did, she should've sucked up her error and apologised to the C.p attendant instead of getting into a confrontation with him. That was her first unreasonable mistake.

OP should certainly not have complained. He was right to pull her up on going the wrong way. An attendant without SN may not bother, but he was bothered and OP should've understood why, apologised and carried on with her shopping. I really hope nothing was said to him, because he was correct in pulling her up on her mistake.

So OP was BU, however OP has already agreed she was unreasonable and has said she is going back to retract complaint and apologise.

Sevenfoldedbloodybodies · 19/10/2011 12:04

so we ignore the op's dangerous driving, ignore the fact that she could have hit someone or something, and just bash the trolly bloke. lets make the poor op the victim and ignore the fact that she is sn bashing

DeepPurple · 19/10/2011 12:06

Technically, the part where the arrows are is a road and as such you must follow the one way arrows. You could receive a £60 ticket with 3 points you know Wink

AllThreeWays · 19/10/2011 12:09

She is not SN bashing

onefatcat · 19/10/2011 12:18

I have not read any posts that bash special needs.
Nobody has said he shouldn't work there,
Nobody has said he should be fired,
Nobody has said they do/don't like people with SN,
Nobody has said they are scared of people with SN,

On the other had many posters have defended/excused his behaviour with regards to his possible SN.

?? Where is the bashing??

Ormirian · 19/10/2011 12:29

Why didnt you just say 'Oh yes, sorry! I didn't realise it was one-way' or something. Communication! It's a wonderful thing.

BimboNo5 · 19/10/2011 12:31

Wow MrBloom- untangle your G string ffs!

CompleteMug · 19/10/2011 12:32

Yep, Sevenfold and MrBlooms.
You two are exactly what I'm talking about.

boohoohoo · 19/10/2011 12:39

This is such a sad thread, have we not come on far enough that we can't allow a little understanding of adults with SN.

Rhubs (and others) I applaud everything you've said, your posts were very moving and yet shocking that there appears to still be so much predujice and ignorance surrounding adults with SN.

GalaxyWeaver · 19/10/2011 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BupcakesandHaunting · 19/10/2011 12:49

Laws and rules are different things. So the one way thing isn't law but it is a rule set by the owners of the land. Just like I have a rule about not smoking in my house; it is not law but a rule set by me in my home. I would be mightily pissed off if a visitor decided that my rule didn't apply to them.

onefatcat · 19/10/2011 12:49

The only people being offensive on here are those that are name calling and agressive in the name of defending SN like MrBloomsNursery

sis · 19/10/2011 12:51

maybe there were no laws broken but rules were definitely broken albeit the supermarket's rules for the direction in which people must drive in their supermarket.

sis · 19/10/2011 12:53

sorry, crossed post with bupcakes.

Ormirian · 19/10/2011 12:55

I do agree that there was nothing all that dreadful about driving the wrong way round an empty car park. I am sure I've done it. The difference being that I hope I would have held my hands up and said 'Sorry, my mistake' if someone mentioned it to me.

What would you have done OP if someone without SN had challenged you about it?

And I repeat my earlier question - why didn't you just admit your mistake instead of arguing the toss?

FlossieFromCrapstonVillas · 19/10/2011 12:57

Those throwing the insults are confusing some of us here who think the op shouldn't have been made to feel intimidated with being ignorant & prejudiced against people with special needs. How narrow minded.

Lucyinthepie · 19/10/2011 12:58

Well, in the evening, when ther were not many other cars about and hardly any people to be seen, I've driven straight across Asda's car park. Shoot me.

"Tolerance of limitation should not be an excuse to demand acceptance of intimidation."

What a brilliant quote, spot on.

activate · 19/10/2011 12:58

YABU

  1. you follow the rules even if there's no cars there - the people who work in teh carpark will not expect a car to be coming the wrong way

  2. the Carpark attendant knows the rules and was pointing them out - you should apologise and leave it

  3. the fact he may well have SN just reinforces how important the rules are

I think you're rather nasty actually

Sevenfoldedbloodybodies · 19/10/2011 13:02

I find it odd that the op has mention the man having sn over 5 times, yet she doesn't even know him.
surely you break a rule, you say sorry.

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