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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get angry at parents who don't put their children in coats when its cold!

146 replies

Cezzy · 18/10/2011 12:10

Going to school, parents all dressed up in warm clothes, coats etc but their children are just in a school fleece. Sorry but it's bloody cold in the mornings and the wind blows right across the playground from the fields so it feels even colder, it's not as if you have to pay a lot for a warm coat nowadays (for £16 I got a bundle with warm coat, 2 shirts and trousers). It really makes my blood boil to see these kids all hunched up and cold. So maybe they don't want one leaving the house, getting into the car etc but they still go out playtimes and lunchtimes. My children don't always want to wear one but I insist and usually they are glad they have them once we get out. Rant over, thank you.

OP posts:
redskyatnight · 18/10/2011 12:13

Could you please come to my house and make my DS put his coat on in the morning? He won't even wear his school jumper. And he cycles to school so it's not as though he is only travelling to/from a car.

(I do put his coat in his bag, but he tells me he doesn't wear it).

Some children just don't feel the cold so much ...

altinkum · 18/10/2011 12:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Cezzy · 18/10/2011 12:16

I won't let them leave the house until its on and explain that they can tell the head why they were late if they argue! Maybe mean, but if not they stand in the playground moaning to me they were cold. If you put it in his bag, there's not much you can do at school admittedly, but at least you are sending him with one. Lots don't even have the option (you can tell as they have little flat book bags that wouldn't fit a coat).

OP posts:
grograg · 18/10/2011 12:19

We leave the house and by the time we get to school both DD's have their coats off.

LaWeasel · 18/10/2011 12:19

How do you know they are cold? You've got no idea if they are wearing thermal undies on under their uniform.

As an aside, most kids here are still just wearing fleeces/blazers/a light layer. They look fine.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 18/10/2011 12:19

YABU

If they choose not to wear their coats on a cold morning then they will get cold. I am in too much of a rush in the morning to negotiate coat wearing. The older 2 (12 and 14) can suffer the consequences, and the 4 year old will soon come to his senses when his fingers turn blue. At that point I usually raise one eyebrow and hand him his coat.

Obviously this is very different from children who are neglected, in which case, I feel desperately sad for them, and YANBU Sad

worraliberty · 18/10/2011 12:19

YANBU at all and if I hear one more parent say "Oooh but my child refuses to wear one" I'm going to bloody scream!

Since when did kids get to tell their parents what they will and won't be doing?

squeakyfreakytoy · 18/10/2011 12:20

If kids are running about in the playground, they will not feel cold. It is not that bitter out there yet!

PrettyCandles · 18/10/2011 12:21

Oh really, unclench and loosen your judgeypants!

  1. It's only October, it may be chilly in the morning but by lunchtime it will be warm enough that they don't need their coats. Not taking a coat to schoil means that they won't leave it at school this afternoon.

  2. Active children often do not feel the cold as much as adults.

  3. Most school-age children are able enough to learn from their experience and work out whether they need their coat in the morning.

LauraShigihara · 18/10/2011 12:22

Lordy, they won't die of being a bit cold. Youngest wouldn't wear his coat today. He can live and learn.

maxcliffordszombielovechild · 18/10/2011 12:22

YABU some children just refuse and the battle for school for some is hard enough, my DD8 hates coats, send her with one but even on the coldest of days she scrunches puts it in her school bag as soon as she can. May be something to do with the fact we don't have central heating, she regularly strips off jumpers and the like in most centrally heated houses complaining of the heat. In winter she was making a snowman in a t-shirt, leggings and gloves with me pleading for her to put a coat on!

pinkdelight · 18/10/2011 12:22

I dunno, it's very funny weather at the mo. Can be cold in the morning and then hot in the afternoon. A fleece seems quite a good option at the moment, unless you're somewhere freezing way or north or something.?

WoTmania · 18/10/2011 12:22

YABU - My DCs refuse to wear coats - we take them 'just in case' - and are often running around playing and get too hot wearing them.

The also have flat book bags which still fit their coats folded up.

ouryve · 18/10/2011 12:22

Hey! I've only just persuaded DS1 to put his big coat on at all. Fastening it is another thing. And sorry, but he refuses to wear either a vest under or a sweatshirt over his short sleeved polo shirt.

Come the summer, he'll be sweating like a pig because I can't get all the heavy layers off him :o

DogsBeastFiend · 18/10/2011 12:23

If a child of average ability and of an age to speak is cold they will say so. Or, they will take their coat from their bag and put it on.

At best they will conclude that the next cold morning they will take a coat after all!

RedRubyBlue · 18/10/2011 12:25

I hated coats as a child and I hate them as an adult. I didn't feel the cold as a child and I still don't.

I remember my Mum forcing me into horrible itchy jumpers, vests, scarfs, gloves and coats and ripping them off the second her back was turned.

cjbartlett · 18/10/2011 12:26

what a strange thing to get angry at!

just concentrate on your own kids not everyone elses

slavetofilofax · 18/10/2011 12:26

YABU, and ridiculous, and it's non of your business what other children wear.

I can make ds2 (9) wear a coat when he needs to, and on the odd occassions that he doesn't want to, I let him make his own choice. If he refuses to wear a coat, he is the one that feels cold. He will learn the consequenses. On the other hand, there have been times when I have tried to get him to wear a coat, he has said no, we have gone out and I've asked him if he's cold, and he genuinely isn't.

People feel the cold differently.

DS1 has a few sensory issues, and he would much much rather feel a bit chilly than feel uncomfortable with a coat on. And he does find them particularly uncomfortable, no matter how many styles we have tried. He will wear one when it's very cold, but otherwise, he would prefer to just wear a fleece because it's less restrictive. He doesn't feel the cold anywhere near as much as I do, and I have to respect his choice.

There is a difference between being a responsible parent and being a parent who never allows their children to make their own choices and learn from the consequenses of bad choices. I don't want my children to be in their teens and unable to make a choice about what to wear without my input.

Wind your neck in and worry about your own kids, don't worry about anyone else's, they are bugger all to do with you.

mollymole · 18/10/2011 12:27

What I really don't understand is the small chiid in the push chair, in a skirt, socks etc no coat and Mum bundled up in a big warm coat and boots. There is no excuse for not dressing a small child in appropriate clothing.

ouryve · 18/10/2011 12:27

Anyhow, it's not that long since boys and girls went to school in just a skirt or shorts in all weathers, isn't it?

A generation ago, I'd be made to do PE in all weather in the regulation Hockey kit, complete with socks, short kilt-like skirt and regulation knickers with a trutext shirt on top. If it was very cold, we were allowed to wear our school jumper (not a sweatshirt or any other jumper) over the top. No tracksuits allowed (except for the teachers) So long as you kept moving, your thighs felt a bit raw, but you weren't all that cold.

cuteboots · 18/10/2011 12:28

I have a nightmare trying to get my son to wear a coat. He has this morning been persuaded to wear his winter coat but what a challenge!!! I normally put his water proof one in his book bag so I can go to work with the knowledge that I tried...

BlondeG · 18/10/2011 12:28

YABU when related to school age children who frankly should be able to tell whether it's cold or not.

My DS1 (7) refused to wear a coat this morning, so I said fine. Then when he was cold in the playground this morning I pointed out he'd be better off with one, he will hopefully be a bit more willing tomorrow!

DS2 also refused, but wore a hoody and scootered like a mad thing all the way to school and nursery and was actually sweating when we got to nursery.

It's not that cold here (East Anglia) yet anyway. I only have a cardigan on today, admittedly I had v cold hands though.

GalaxyWeaver · 18/10/2011 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedRubyBlue · 18/10/2011 12:29

Also remember this;

A vest is what a child wears when his mother feels cold. Smile

Vibrant · 18/10/2011 12:29

My dd is a really warm child, so when I feel I need a jumper on, she's still really comfortable in just a t-shirt. She's just one of those people who doesn't feel the cold.

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