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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to get angry at parents who don't put their children in coats when its cold!

146 replies

Cezzy · 18/10/2011 12:10

Going to school, parents all dressed up in warm clothes, coats etc but their children are just in a school fleece. Sorry but it's bloody cold in the mornings and the wind blows right across the playground from the fields so it feels even colder, it's not as if you have to pay a lot for a warm coat nowadays (for £16 I got a bundle with warm coat, 2 shirts and trousers). It really makes my blood boil to see these kids all hunched up and cold. So maybe they don't want one leaving the house, getting into the car etc but they still go out playtimes and lunchtimes. My children don't always want to wear one but I insist and usually they are glad they have them once we get out. Rant over, thank you.

OP posts:

seeker · 18/10/2011 12:45

My ds refuses to wear a coat unless it's actually pouring or snowing. He says he isn't cold. Why on earth would I force him to wear one if he doesn't want to? He knows where it is if he wants it.

Vibrant · 18/10/2011 12:47

"Since when did kids get to tell their parents what they will and won't be doing?"

Same as Altinkum really - dd gets lots of opportunities to choose what she wants to do, including what she eats. There are parameters, of course, but I encourage her to say what she thinks about things.

I grew up being told what to do and think, and I really struggled with making decisions and having opinions about things for a lot of adulthood.

SusanneLinder · 18/10/2011 12:47

YABU-don't you know there is a recession on, and there are starving children in Africa to worry about. :o

"runs away cackling" :)

AKMD · 18/10/2011 12:48

That's better.

Ephiny · 18/10/2011 12:50

I haven't started wearing a coat yet this autumn, it hasn't felt necessary yet. Yes there's a slight chill in the air first thing in the morning, but I really don't think anyone's in danger of frostbite or hypothermia just at the moment. A fleece sounds like more than enough!

Spero · 18/10/2011 12:53

YABU. My daughter is 6. She is plenty old enough to know if she is cold or not, to want to wear her coat or not. She has plenty more energy than me and jumps about in a T shirt whilst I am huddled in a jumper.

She used to come home in tears from nursery because they wouldn't let her take her jumper off and she was too hot. I had to have words several times before they let her have a choice. That really pissed me off. She was four then and well able to judge if she needed a coat.

redskyatnight · 18/10/2011 12:54

"Since when did kids get to tell their parents what they will and won't be doing?"

I happen to think my DS knows better than me if he is cold or not. He has a coat. If he is cold he can put it on. If he isn't why on earth would I force him to wear it?

pozzled · 18/10/2011 12:56

My DD is 3. She feels the cold much less than I do because she tears around like a mad thing. If I think she might need a coat I make sure we take one with us, but 9 times out of 10 it goes unused. I also give her a chance to change her mind about how many layers she wants once she has actually been outside. She's more thn capable of saying what she wants to wear, why on earth would I make that decision for her?

daytoday · 18/10/2011 12:57

Do you feel angry because your own children spot the ones without coats and start moaning?

What about if I bring a snack? Should a bring one for the whole class?

It really doesn't matter fig to me. Each to their own.

cjbartlett · 18/10/2011 12:58

but how do they know they won't need a coat before they leave the house?

my dd didn't want a coat this morning, 10 minutes into the school walk she complained she was cold

valiumredhead · 18/10/2011 12:58

I don't wear coats in the winter - I wear chunky knit cardis and big scarves and gloves. I find coats really uncomfortable when driving too.

WRT kids, I am so worn out from getting my own kid out the door to school with his bags etc every morning I really haven't the time or energy to worry about what anyone else's kids are wearing or not wearing.

aquashiv · 18/10/2011 13:04

I dont feel the cold (perhaps being brought up in a cold house helped) this morning I went to school in my tshirt one of my children is the same he doesnt need a coat. Both of us are rarely ill. Funny as this morning some old bat looked at him as if she had a bad smell under her nose was it you per chance?

littlewish · 18/10/2011 13:10

I have now learned that arguing over coats in the morning is not worth it. DS2 is in comp and has to traipse his coat with him all day around school (which is heated like a furnace btw) He has a coat hanging nicely under the stairs. I'm hoping he will make the decision himself to put it on when he feels cold enough.

I am determined not to bother to nag and fuss like I did with DS1 or say "You make me look like a bad mother, sending you to school without a coat!" I'm older and wiser and now do not worry what others think and seem to find I get better results when kids are left to decide for themselves. (older ones in any case, not tots)

moonshineandspellbooks · 18/10/2011 13:20

Some childcare professionals would argue that the OP is part of the reason why are developing a generation of children who are unable to act of their own initiative. Parents who insist that their child who is not cold put on a coat are slowly but surely overwriting that child's ability to think for themselves. This will be exactly the sort of child who leaves half their stuff behind at school because no one reminded them to put it on/pick it up.

bigTillyMint · 18/10/2011 13:25

YABU

As a child I used to run around the playground in a summer dress in the winter. DS often goes without a coat and DD only wears a blazer for school, even in deepest winter.

We are the healthiest family I know and virtually never have a day off.

I agree with moonshine - school-age children are capable of deciding if they want a coat on or not. And hen-pecked chidlren are definitely less capable of looking after their own stuff.

hormonalmum · 18/10/2011 13:25

I stopped trying to wrestle my son into his coat when I realised that after 5 mins + of wrestling he just took it off again. I have other battles to fight - I figured getting him to put his shoes on was slightly more important.
I now take it with us (if I remember) and I usually have one in the car for him. He has probably only once in his life told me he was cold - he just doesnt feel the cold (unlike me!)

hayleysd · 18/10/2011 13:25

Why make them wear a coat if they're not cold, I wouldn't want my coat on if I wasn't cold, my 6 year old went in his tshirt this morning with jumper in his book bag and he leaves his coat at school for if it rains as he's too busy running round to be cold.

Hungrydragon · 18/10/2011 13:27

^Is the OP being so unreasonable if it's raining and/or due to rain?
Is it fair for a child to sit in wet clothes all day?^

erm no. But the op wasn't asking that. As for rain, older non coat wearing children tend to use umbrellas and the rest have coats on as it's daft to sunject teachers to damp children.

Ephiny · 18/10/2011 13:27

It seems to me a bit like making a child finish everything on their plate even if they're not hungry. I get the point that sometimes as a parent you have to be responsible and force certain issues for your child's wellbeing/safety, but don't think this is one of them.

Of course it's up to you when it comes to your own children. But it seems an odd thing to get angry about when it's other people/children.

dustwhatdust · 18/10/2011 13:29

I think the OP has a point and so unnecessary when people express opinions on here and the reactions are 'wind your neck in ' who do you think you are ....?' Judgey pants ' etc

My son regularly doesn't want to take his coat but depending on the temperature and wind chill factor - I decide !

What gets me upset though is how often i see mums pushing toddlers in pushchairs oblivious of how cold it can be for the child just passively sitting there - often with no blanket or even a coat - sometimes they have don't even have shoes/bootees or socks !!

On the other end of the spectrum i often see babies in prams covered with raincovers , poor child can't even breath let alone get fresh air !

Voidka · 18/10/2011 13:29

My DS1 always seems to be warm. He is old enough to make up him mind. I make sure he takes his coat, whether he wears it is up to him.

usualsuspect · 18/10/2011 13:33

Its only October ,hardly the bleak mid winter

yabu

5Foot5 · 18/10/2011 13:35

This is really none of your business. If your blood bolis as easily as this then heaven help you

Hungrydragon · 18/10/2011 13:35

dustwhatdust

I have a 22month old who starts of with coat shoes and socks.....note starts off. By the time I get into town she has removed them all and lovingly placed them in the basket. Right in time for the judging to start

Hullygully · 18/10/2011 13:37

moronic bollocks

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