To think my sister should just go back to work

[allmyfriendsaremarried]

I know everyone is having a tough time at the moment but I am beginning to wonder if my sister is being unrealistic about being a SAHM. She has a 4 year old (now at school) and a one year old. Her husband works for the council in what was a well paid job but due to cut backs they are beginning to struggle financially. Personally I would think that returning to some sort of part time work would be beneficial for all now. She is very funny about this sort of thing and thinks that pre school child care is the work of the devil and that mums who return to work are bad mothers. Most of my friends with babies have returned to work once their children are one years old mainly for financial reasons and I can see they are not bad parents. So AIBU or is she BU. It does grate on me that I work to support my lifestyle so why shouldn't she, after all they chose to have children? Sorry if this seems harsh but I am getting a bit fed up of hearing how hard up they are.

YABU.

I'm a SAHM - my daughter is at school. AFAIC it is far more important for me to be a SAHM now than ever before.

At the end of the day it is her choice.

I went back to work when DC3 was 1 year old. It was 2 years before I began to keep a little bit of my salary, and a further 2 years until I was able to keep about 50%. That was during term time. In the holidays I went back to only being able to keep a little bit.

Child care and travel is extortionate.

YABU

YABVVU

why the fuck did soneone feel the need to bump this two year old thread? the mind boggles

YANVU and very judgemental, keep your nose out!

A brisk, "If ya can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em" should do the trick. Harsh but true.

YANBU to be annoyed and frustrated by your sisters moaning down the phone about struggling financially.

However YABU to decide whether or not she works, that's her choice.

Next time she starts moaning down the phone, just change the subject.

OP, It's "Hear hear" and not "Here here". Correcting other people when you can't get your own shit right.

It's really not up to you to decide whether or not she goes back to work. Of course if she asks you for your opinion then give it. If she doesn't then it would be best to keep quiet about it.

She clearly wants to stay home and care for her kids more than the extra money to relieve financial pressures. Does not mean she can,t grumble when it helps her about money being tight...that's what you do with friends and family sometimes to relieve the worry a bit. If you are not ok with that tell her you don't ever want to hear about it. Be prepared for her to be less tolerant of your grumbling when you want to though.

I disagree with others here and think this is a clear YANBU. I think that if you grumble about a problem to someone, it is totally reasonable to expect sympathy and a solution. In this case, the solution is for her to get a job.

It is your DS's choice to be a SAHM - but if she takes that choice it is her responsiblity to accept the ramifications of that choice, ie, having less money.

Alexishurricane, why on earth did you reinstate this thread?

Why the holy fuck do people resurrect 2 year old threads ?

Arse.

Maybe its something about older women, they seem to be all for staying at home scraping through life on bread and water but feeling fulfilled as a mother. I've just turned 21

Not to continue a zombie thread but... crass and ageist generalisation much dahling?

So resurrecting a zombie thread and posting shite

Two badges for Alexishurricane.

YABsoU I don't even have the words to express it.

Oh FFS - zombie thread Well at least the OP will have had time to see the error of her ways by now