Stupid stupid stupid extreme low calorie diets!!!

[working9while5]

My sister has a kidney infection. She has had it now for nearly 6 weeks and it is a recurrence of an infection she seems to be getting again and again. She is extremely tired and lethargic to the point that she often is too tired to talk and is struggling at work.

She is morbidly obese with a BMI of 39 . I know she needs to lose weight but she is on a diet where she is only allowed 7oz of meat and 2 cups of vegetables and the most vile, horrible "nutrition" or meal replacement bars.

I hate to see her as she is now. I know that her weight is a major factor in her ill-health but these diets just seem to make everything worse for her. She loses weight and then puts it back on.

Her weight issues started in her teens when she was raped. She also has suffered from clinical depression and she doesn't speak to our father, who is an alcoholic. I really believe her weight issues are really about emotional issues and that the diets she chooses feed into self-hatred.

What can I do? Say? Anything? I am so worried about her. Am I being unreasonable to think that extreme low calorie diets are not the answer?

They are definitely not the answer, what about weight watchers, I've heard really good things about it. Also, she might benefit from some kind of counselling?

Hugs to you. It's good she has you. I don't have anything too helpful to say, but didn't want to read and run.

I do think some extreme diets are about punishment of oneself though.

I have been trying to gently talk to her about counselling. We signed up for weight watchers together but she didn't do well on it. She seems to want these really punishing ones, she has no issue with "will power" on a diet that is massively extreme but she seems to struggle if she is "allowed" eat any food that is even vaguely bad. This is one of the reasons I really think that her eating is disordered and it's as much about self-hatred as anything. She has put on five stone in the last year.

Oh bless her no no no no no!!!! (YANBU)

It probably makes her feel she is getting "healthy" but she needs to be well, over her urinary infection & then look at her diet.

Her weight has gone on over a period of time so it needs to come off steadily too or she'll make herself REALLY ill.

Could she go to the docs & get referred to a nutritionist to do it properly? Also some counselling for her emotional issues? ( the one tack could lead to the other)

She sounds like she is in need of a lot of support, it's lovely she has you but this may be where you need to step back a little, be there for her but encouraging her to get professional help?

Would she have that conversation with you?

Five stone in a year is a lot. Is it definitely all down to eating? I really think some kind of counselling is the only answer. Must be difficult to mention without making her feel crap. Like mumwithdice said, at least she's got you. What about exercising together, something fun, or is she too unwell for that. There must be helplines you can call to get some advice about what services are on offer in your area?

I take it, she's on antibiotics and is taking the full course? Extreme diets and antibiotics are good on the stomach.

Can't exercise with her as she lives in Ireland and I am here! I am talking to her on fb about it as I write here!

She got married this year and she decided not to invite my dad and this definitely had a lot to do with it. He was devastated and so was she.. he didn't find out til later and was very upset with the whole family. She has also moved in with her in-laws who are lovely but she is very ashamed of her background and obviously it is a massive change. She put on 2 stone in the six weeks after the wedding! She wants to lose weight so she can have a baby but I do worry about what that will do to her body if she tries to go at it too fast,

Yes, absolutely.. professional help the answer..