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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be upset that school inset day has disrupted my plans?

30 replies

barnowl · 14/10/2011 19:17

I've had a day out to shop for dresses for bro's wedding with mum and little Sis planned since may. We chose the date because it fits round my sisters Uni timetable and its the week I sit my end of year Uni exam so I have a couple of weeks before my new course starts. I also needed the date to be in term time as I have 4 DC's and the only person who will look after them all together is my mum. Today my kids came out of school very excited, "we've got the day off next Friday!" I must have missed the letter :(. I'm really stressed over the exams and lookin forward to this much needed day out has been keeping me going and now I've had to cancel it. So now I'll have to go dress shopping on my own with a toddler in tow who points at the exit and shouts "that way" every time we go in a shop and trys to grab everything in sight. Am I the only one who is totally fed up that life is dictated by the school as they can drop these extra days off in anywhere in the year yet at the same time ban us parents from taking our children out of school at all during the school year because every day is oh so important?

OP posts:

clam · 14/10/2011 19:20

Well, they don't "drop these extra days off in anywhere in the year." At least they shouldn't. They are planned months in advance and you should be given notice in the year's dates the preceding year.

noblegiraffe · 14/10/2011 19:22

They're not extra days off. They were taken out of the holidays, not days that kids would be in school.

aldiwhore · 14/10/2011 19:22

I've et to have an inset day sprung on me, they're all arranged and handed out along with the term dates pre-July.

Bummer though. Even if you ARE BU.

You will need to find another day.

WitchesBrewIsMyFriend · 14/10/2011 19:25

YABU, leave your DP/DH to look after the kids and reschedule another day to go with your mum or sister.

I had plans for today, but had to reschedule them earlier this week because I forgot today was an inset day for DD, but not DS. The only reason that I forgot was because DD has started a new school and the inset days are different to her old school, but I wasnt annoyed.

scaevola · 14/10/2011 19:26

You perhaps need to talk to the school about how they communicate with parents.

This will not have been arranged at such short notice. Can you find out when it was first communicated to parents? And then see what can be done to either make that means more reliable, or see if there is an alternative or set one up (class cascade of important information?)

But if it was on the published term dates all along, then you only have yourself to blame. Would you prefer to rage here, or just have some ?

CardyMow · 14/10/2011 19:33

My DS's primary do this too - no published non-pupil days. We got the newsletter today that informed us that there will be an inset day added on to the end of the October half term, on the 31st October. So, only 17 days notice. And I KNOW the information isn't published elsewhere any earlier. Some schools are just shit at telling the parents when they are going to put inset days.

I'm glad I am a SAHM again now - because God only knows how working parents - especially working lone parents - manage to book a day off with less than 3 weeks notice. And this is more notice than we often get - sometimes it's only 9/10 days.

YANBU, it's bloody irritating - and the HT at my school's answer for it is "I can put the inset days when I want, you always get at least 7 days notice".

Original poster

barnowl · 14/10/2011 19:34

It probably was on the term dates list I must have just missed it in writing down the days. My main problem with these days is that, school holidays you know when they are and you can always plan in advance round them but the inset days you can't guess when they're going to be and at least at our school they have been known to change the dates during the year. I was just so upset because there isn't another available date and I really needed a child free day for something other than studying I haven't had one in such a long time.

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 14/10/2011 19:43

The dates should be on the published calendar at the beginning of the year. If schools do this properly it's up to parents to be vigilant about noting when they are. As others have pointed out, they were taken out of teachers' holidays and pupils have always been in school for the same number of days. I wish parents would realise this: it's a misconception that really annoys me.

purplewerepidj · 14/10/2011 19:43

How many of the kids can you farm out arrange play dates for with friends? Preferably with added sleepover...

YABU, but that doesn't really help you get the time off you obviously need!

LindyHemming · 14/10/2011 19:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty · 14/10/2011 19:45

And surely you'd have had the toddler in tow regardless of INSET days?

LydiaWickham · 14/10/2011 19:48

Can you not find someone else who'll have them for a few hours so you can do the family shopping thing? Worth asking around.

Original poster

barnowl · 14/10/2011 19:49

ilovesooty I understand the need for these days, it would just be easier for advance planning if they were on the same days every year like the holidays are then as parents we wouldn't need to wait for the school to tell us when they were before making arrangements.

OP posts:

aldiwhore · 14/10/2011 19:49

Barnowl sorry YABU. Our terms dates vary year to year, depending on the mood of the Headteacher when she's assigning them, last year we had two weeks at whit instead of one and only 5 weeks summer hols... sure you can anticipate approximate dates, BUT most inset days are stapled either end of the holidays.

YABU because even if that's not the case you should have really read the letter... I still feel a bit sorry for you though, as I am not the most organised person in the world.

Trills · 14/10/2011 19:49

YABU to be upset with school if your plans have been disrupted due to you failing to note down the dates correctly.

ilovesooty · 14/10/2011 19:51

They can't have them on the same days every year if they're getting in outside trainers. They have to work round those trainers' availability.

Original poster

barnowl · 14/10/2011 19:52

Oh also I'd already arranged with other grandparents to have my toddler but they aren't happy to have all 4dc's at once as its to overwhelming for them which I totally appreciate.

OP posts:

NinkyNonker · 14/10/2011 19:52

Yabu, sorry though. But as others have had, surely you'd still have had the toddler anyway and may be able to find elongated play dates for any older children?

FontOfAllEvil · 14/10/2011 19:52

It is most likely to be performance management day as it all has to be done before the end of October. Yabu if it is your fault for forgetting it/not reading the info.

ilovesooty · 14/10/2011 19:54

If you'd already arranged with the other grandparents to have the toddler why will you have him in tow? I'm rather confused here.

ballstoit · 14/10/2011 19:54

YANBU...SIL and DB are teachers, and they end up getting extra days off as the teacher days are disaggregated. Seems wrong to add further childcare burden, when the work that's covered can be done at other times.

Could you split them and still get the day to yourself? Arrange playdates and then return the favour during half term? Who was going to have the toddler?

ballstoit · 14/10/2011 19:56

X posted...so that's only 3 of them to make arrangements for. Be as stubborn as you would be if you had an exam that day, this is as important if you're looking forward to it that much.

LydiaWickham · 14/10/2011 19:58

I would definately ask around your DCs friends, appeal to their better natures for a few hours - ok, not the full day you hoped for, but better than nothing.

noblegiraffe · 14/10/2011 20:05

ballstoit, do you have flextime at work? If you stayed late several days banking hours so that you could take a day off, would you then be happy if your employer then said you had to come in and do extra work on your flexi-day off?

It's not a further childcare burden. The kids were never going to be in on those days anyway.

anewyear · 14/10/2011 20:06

We have a school near where I live that has its 5 Inset/occasional days off all in one week!
The school then tags this on to a half term holiday week!

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