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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wish people wouldn't judge others by how much they earn?

22 replies

toptramp · 14/10/2011 15:56

I recently got a new job of which I am very proud but it dosn't pay well.

I told a friend's mum about new job and she said " Oh that can't pay very well can it? Mabe £X an hour." And she was almost bang on. It was as though she was looking for a negative.

I am just so fed up of being told how xy and z are earning sooooo much money. My dsis for example is raking it in but she does deserve it to be fair.
I just feel a bit inferior. I went to my sister's wedding last week and all the guests (and sis) had academic titles, doctorates and posh jobs.
I do love my job though; low prestige and all.

I am having a bit of a downer this week which is probably why I'm being oversensitive.

OP posts:

worraliberty · 14/10/2011 16:00

Any job is a good job and if you enjoy it, even more so.

Some people are obsessed with pay levels and titles but if everyone was like that, the human race couldn't survive...we'd be lost under tons of overflowing wheelie bins and dirty toilets.

purplewerepidj · 14/10/2011 16:06

Your friend's mum sounds like a bit of a snob. I work in a very low paid industry (care), and so do many of my friends. Even with strangers/acquaintances all I get is "Wow, that's a really hard thing to do". Although maybe that's because the people I know realise how facetious commenting on the wages would be...

OneNerveAndYouAreOnIt · 14/10/2011 16:08

my friend's old man had a long standing career, 20+years and gave it all up to be a street cleaner. He absolutely loves it, no stress, no office backstabbing.

aldiwhore · 14/10/2011 16:11

Not only do I not care about what someone else earns, I also am not obsessed with what they do. Obviously its interesting to find out what people do with their lives at some point in a conversation/getting to know someone, but I HATE hatehatehate the opening introductions of "this is x and she's a z" or "Hi I'm x, what do you do?" Grrr.

The most interesting people I know do things that either don't have a title of have so many their replies go on for hours.

op you love your job, that gives it a high status in your life. If someone else gives it a low status because the take home pay is low, there's not much you can do about that but avoid them!

DurhamDurham · 14/10/2011 16:14

I work in the Voluntary Sector which does not pay well at all, however I love my job and the difference I pay to the families I help. Plus my working conditions and holidays are fab.

People will always judge each other on something, just learn to rise above it and be happy in your job. Having a job you enjoy is a lot more than many people have. Imagine being stuck in a 9 til 5 job that you hate. Or not having a job at all.

lesley33 · 14/10/2011 16:16

I think it is really strange for people to care about how much someone earns. I have friends who earn a relatively good wage and a very low or no wage - it really doesn't matter. I am 47 and I have seen friends love or hate their jobs. One of the things you learn is that someone who loves their job has a much higher quality of life and someone who hates their job has a pretty low quality of life.

You spend so much time at work that it is really really important that you don't hate it and wonderful if you love it.

I am not being naive - I know having more money makes your life easier - no problems with bills, etc. But honestly i think you should be really proud that you have found something you love.

TiaMariaandDietCoke · 14/10/2011 19:34

totally agree with lesley.

We spend so much of our lives at work - it may as well be something we enjoy! Personally I'd always choose a lower paid post I enjoyed over a higher paid one I hated if I could afford to make that choice.

At the end of the day, as long as you earn enough for what you need, what on earth has your wage got to do with anyone else?!

Enjoy your job and be proud of it! :)

Appuskidu · 14/10/2011 19:41

I think that's incredibly rude of your friend's mum to comment like that!

My brother is a doctor and earns far more money than me, but at the end of the day we're all just people doing jobs.

NinkyNonker · 14/10/2011 19:45

People associate money/wealth with success and intrinsic value, it sucks and is pretty dumb. There are some amazingly valuable and important jobs that pay next to nowt, likewise I have been paid a lot of money in the past for doing nothing of great importance.

If anyone is going to judge you, or assess your value based on your income they're not worth knowing imo.

Nowtspecial · 14/10/2011 19:49

Those people are arseclowns. YANBU.

duvetdayplease · 14/10/2011 19:50

I have found it quite odd since giving up work and realising that even if I didn't think I judged other people on their earnings it felt very weird actually earning NOTHING.

Yeah, its shit to be judged like that. I;ve done well paid jobs and low paid jobs. One of my low paid jobs had high status so people used to get quite excited about that one. My best paid job was so tedious I nearly went mad.

I hope your job goes really well, congrats!

ShellyBoobs · 14/10/2011 20:05

OP, your friend's mum sounds a bit snobby, really.

To me, my job is my job; it's not my life. I too can't understand people who judge someone's worth according to their chosen career/job/income.

I have a job that might sound posh, I have qualifications and could title myself with some letters after my name etc. BUT... once I'm home I'm myself.

My best friend isn't at all academic, she does a part-time job she loves (school lunchtime supervisor). Another really good friend is a GP and then there's another one who works in a trendy shoe shop (we all suck up to her ) We all meet up at least a couple of times a month and never talk about work other than in the most general terms (good/crap week, etc) and couldn't care less about each other's position.

My OH is the same in his group, he has mates varying from an MP (really ) to a farm worker to a CEO to a newsagent.

No one's "worth" is according to their income/qualifications and anyone who judges in that way is someone to steer clear of, in my opinion.

catgirl1976 · 14/10/2011 20:14

You should have pointed out how vulgar she was being OP, talking about money like that. Might have shut her up if you gave her a sniffy look and a "goodness, do you find it acceptable to discuss money like that...how strange"

Don't let her take the shine off your job - enjoy it and be proud of it.

neighbourhoodwitch · 14/10/2011 20:17

How annoying - better to be happy, for sure. Whatever people say, job satisfaction is number ONE. Well done you and enjoy.

mummymccar · 14/10/2011 20:24

I hate that people judge like that and I'm so sorry you've had to experience it from someone close to you. Some people are rubbish.

I was working a low paid job and changed to a very, very low paid job recently which I enjoy so much more. In my last job I wasn't sleeping well, I had frequent migraines (one a fortnight), and lost a lot of weight very quickly through stress. I left my job and my health improved dramatically. I also fell pregnant against all odds. Yes I earn barely more than pennies, but I love my job and I actually look forward to it. That means so much more to me than 100k a year.

mummymccar · 14/10/2011 20:24

PS Congratulations on the new job!

Bunbaker · 14/10/2011 20:27

Im just a minion where I work. I only work 2 days a week, but I love my job and get on well with my workmates.

Before DD was born I was a manager in the same company, but I had to leave because DD had serious medical issues that weren't compatible with me working.

When I went back it was becasue I was offered a job completely out of the blue - no applying, no interview. I was employed because I am good at what I do. I really don't mind being bottom of the heap. I am treated with respect from senior staff members and am confident in my abilities and don't feel I have to prove anything to anyone.

I feel I have my work and home life completely in balance so if anyone sneered at what I do I would just shrug it off.

Adversecamber · 14/10/2011 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chandellina · 14/10/2011 21:31

I don't really think most people do judge. Something interesting usually outranks a well paid accountant in small talk. Maybe the exception is people who themselves place a lot of value on their own pay.

MrBloomsNursery · 14/10/2011 21:36

My SIL is like this. It's all about the money with her. As long as you're happy, it's not anyone else's business. Congratulations on your new job btw.

ninedragons · 14/10/2011 21:37

I agree with PP, most people don't judge. One of my best friends is utterly skint. Sometimes we have a laugh about her needing a World Vision sponsor, but she certainly sees the funny side of it. She enjoys what she does and has lots of free time, so she is happy and that is all that matters.

One of the bus drivers on my route has a PhD and is much happier since he quit his techie, high-pressure job to drive buses. Money is a distant second to enjoying what you do.

chickydoo · 14/10/2011 21:50

I agree too. My job pays badly, but it sounds great, and really interesting (could almost sell it to myself) I work really hard and get tired, but I am always happy to go to work and do something I enjoy. I guess the only people that make me a bit green with envy are those with lots of free time to do what ever their hearts desire.

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