AIBU to not want a workman to poo in my toilet?

[CreamolaFoamless]

Earlier today I was having my boiler serviced and two men came to do it.

The older man said 'can I use your toilet' , I said 'yes of course' and directed him to the bathroom. Thinking he just needed to pass water

But he had a poo in it! He was in there a good 10 minutes and has colleague was looking embarressed as we chatted.

It stank ! Really stank ...why do people think it's ok to poo in someone elses house

Would it be unreasonable to refuse workmen toilet access in future [hshock]

I'm using the term workmen because I don't know what else to call them

and to the posters who asked do I go on holiday and not poo, yes I do

I don't why that happens? But I am unable to poo on any toilet apart from my own.

I try but I must have really shy poo or something. It just won't make an appearance unless I'm in my own bathroom, which is possibly why I get confused and upset when people just wander in and crap in my toilet!

It probably is me , I probably have a major phobia or something

So I apologise if anyone was upset by my people pooing dilemma [hblush]

sorry to hear about your dad pigletmania. UC is a horrible afflection which is extremely distressing .

Was your dad on steriods? I'm asking as my family member has them prescribed for UC (amongst other medication) but I've never been sure they were 'safe'

Creamola - you didn't answer my question - wouldn't you rather that the man working on your gas boiler wasn't distracted by a desparate need for a poo?

Its not your fault, something dreadful must have happened in your anal stage of development- ask Freud!

This reminds me of a biography of Joan Crawford I once read. She was having a new bathroom installed. Workman shat in it so she made him replace it with a shiny new one untainted by another arse!

creamola - Sorry it really isn't normal to go on holiday and not poo. And sorry, but it isn't actually that healthy physically either.

What do you do when you house? How long before your poo realises you own the loo it's being asked to go down and lets go?

It is pretty grim but I don't think you can say no...it is not like you can ask them whether they are going to do a wee or a poo before you let them use the loo.

We had two guys come to fix our roof, both went for a dump and the second one didn't flush it, it was horrible....it was an insurance job and I did complain to the insurance company about the firm or builders for this, there is no excuse not to clear up after yourself.

seeker if you mean when I move house ...it's takes about two weeks before I can go

I know it's me ...but I did think other people might be like me but aparantly I'm a freak !

I have had three serious long term realtionships and all three men think I never poo!

and BimboNo5...my anal stage of development wtf is that ?

I think that I have heard it all now when you can 'abuse a toilet' by using it for it's set purpose! I agree with pigletmania at 9.26 post.
I don't know how you can compare it to cooking breakfast.
I think it must be very unhealthy to go on holiday and not poo. I suggest that you don't go long haul for more than 2 weeks-and keep away from countries where you might get a dodgy tummy!
Can I claim a prize? I said that the thread would rumble on........probably over to tomorrow.

I think it must be very unhealthy to go on holiday and not poo. I suggest that you don't go long haul for more than 2 weeks-and keep away from countries where you might get a dodgy tummy!

It's not like I do it on purpose exoticfruits? But this is not about my toilet habits it's about people taking liberties in my toilet

I'm actually quite a bit guilty because I didn't stop the guy using my loo, I just in hindsight want to prevent the same stinky outcome of a stranger using my loo in future.

Is there such I thing as a poo counsellor, I think I may have a problem [hgrin]

Creamola - I do think you have some major phobia, as I think perhaps you can see from the thread? Allowing someone to use the toilet is a really normal thing. Everyone needs the toilet, every day and often people do when they are out - so it is very normal to let someone working in your home use the toilet. In fact it would be very rude not to. Allowing "workmen" to use your kitchen etc isn't so normal for a 10minute job and so isn't at all comparable (but if building extension or something expect to be able to make tea etc). You will probably find that when (if?) you have friends over they don't suddenly want to use your washing machine but will quite often want to use a toilet as this is honestly normal. The healthy thing to do with toilet urges is to go when you need to go or you can cause problems inside (for a normal adult anyway).

Not being able to go for a week on holiday is actually something I'd be tempted to mention to a doctor.

Hope somehow you can deal with your phobia. Phobias are very real things and you can't just tell someone "don't be scared of spiders/heights" etc but hopefully you can see that you need not to be unreasonable when guests in your home ask to use your toilet and work out a way you can deal with this.

feeling guilty not actually quite a bit guilty damn typo's

I do think it's me .

I even turn the tap on in the bathroom so no one can hear me pee

I think I have just discovered I have a weird bathroom phobia.

Sorry if I upset anyone but this is an real issue for me, and I don't think I knew how weird it perhaps was before I posted here .

I appear to have a bathroom phobia

There are psychologists that deal with phobia, and would use various techniques such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to change your way of viewing things.

I admit to being a bit 'Howard Hughes' in this dept but as long as someone had a valid reason for being in my house and happened to need the toilet while there - then I dont think I could have grounds for being annoyed at which function they chose to do in there but I would definitely think 'bleugh' initially then just do all the air freshening and cleaning necessary to 'reinstate' my loo to former freshness - and then just get on with my life really. It would only be a real issue with me if for example they didnt flush or left it a mess or used my en-suite if I had one instead of the main bathroom. In any of those instances I would 'have a word'. But someone there with owners permission I dont think you can then 'police' what they do in there.

There was a thread on here once about someones P-i-l who came to their house every Sunday and F-i-l always went straight to the loo (before Sunday dinner so not just someone with digestive problems(eliminated on thread - or quick digestion who needs to go straight after eating) - taking the newspaper and sitting in there ten mins or so and stinking it out. I think every possible excuse such as long journey etc was eliminated. Now that would annoy me and I would make a point of making sure toilet was occupied on that serial offenders arrival. [awkward]

But in OPs instance or similiar I think YANBU to not 'want' a workman to poo in your toilet but YABU to think someone else should follow your toilet rules - they are yours not his - and/or specify what they want to do in there. If he'd said 'Can I have a shit in your loo?' you'd have probably been horrified and thought that was equally rude not to mention T.M.I.

You are obviously not alone-this thread has shown that plenty of others are the same.

Sorry to hear about your dad pigletmania my OH has UC. Terrible illness.
He's booked in for surgery next month as all drugs have now failed.

CreamolaFoamless my OH was on steroids for 6 years on and off amougst many other drugs, they helped but never completely sorted him out. Steroids can make your bones leach calcium which intern increases your risk of osteoporosis but DR's Will keep an eye on this. Unfortunately they are a necessary evil!

Sorry don't mean to hijack! OP let the poor man poo in peace.

Why you should never wait to poo........

------------
Asshole rules the human body
------------
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood , "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach , "because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs , "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum , "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?

The ass hole is usually in charge!

----------

I 'ran' away from home when I was six.

By ran away I mean got annoyed at my mum and me and my best friend run away , which consisted of going up to the local woods which was about a 10 min walk away.

Whilst there I felt like I had to fart but it ended up being solid IYSWIM.

I had to go home with my tail between my legs empty the poo down the toilet then hide the knickers in my cupboard.

Next day my sister walked into my bedroom and said something stinks of shit ...have you soiled yourself .

I denied it then wrapped the pooey pants up in newspaper and put them in a public bin.

I think I have just recalled the reason for my poo phobia

When I was about 10 I did a poo in the toilet, my brother went in after and made a huge fuss about it being stinky. From that point on I got very self conscious about pooing. I also would go days without going if I couldn't be sure nobody would know - halls of residence were a nightmare. I would poo in the middle of the night
I would go the working day in pain rather than poo at work. I got sent home from school a few times with horrendous stomach pains because I wouldn't poo.

It's not normal. It's unhealthy and dangerous and limiting and pretty ridiculous, as everybody poos! Most men do not have these hang ups so it wouldn't occur to your tradesman to think twice about pooing in the nearest loo. He would probably fall over with shock if you said you thought he had been rude.

I hope this thread has opened your eyes to the problems with poophobia! I'm far far better than I used to be, helped by being in charge of my own bathroom so I can make sure there is air freshener and bleach, and also learning tips like putting paper down before going to muffle the sound and prevent stains in the bowl.

Good luck in overcoming it.

as you can imagine

I think i do have issues , although I didn't know that I did, at 9am on Friday morning

In one way I just want some else to say to say YANBU random man pooing in your toilet is not normal .

However I except that is unlikely to happen

Having a poo is always normal- you may not like a workman using YOUR toilet to do it but its nothing if it isnt normal.

Oh no WHTMB good luck to your dh with his surgery and hope it all goes well . Since then I have been very worried about myself and when dh told me he was passing blood I sent him straight to the DRs, everthing is fine though which is good.