to stop at one DC just because DH and I like the freedom of having just one?

[moraletotallydestroyedbypoopoo]

This is slightly inspired by the 'what would you like to do if you had more time on your own' thread...

I can't help feeling that it would be wrong or selfish in some way, like we're somehow not doing the family thing properly by having 2 (which is rubbish, because I know plenty of only children and people with only one DC who consider themselves to have a proper family!)

I have great relationship with my DB so feel like I would be depriving my DD of that, but on the other hand DH and his DSis don't like each other at all, so just having a sibling doesn't guarantee happiness.

I can't help feeling that with more than one DC DH and I won't get the time to do our own thing properly until the DCs leave home! AIBU, and selfish, and childish?

There is some absolute tosh been spouted on this thread!

Having several children makes it easier if one dies!!? What the actual fuck!?

And having somebody to look after you when you're old and senile! I can't believe anyone would have a child for such selfish reasons!

< walks off shaking head in disbelief >

My ex had a second child when he knew his marriage was on the rocks so that his first one wouldn't be the only child of divorced parents which has always seemed to me the very worst reason to have another child.

Strangely, me and my siblings all have only children. Make of that what you will :o

LtAllHallowsEve - I know, my name is ridiculous, I will be changing it. It's from my favourite Blackadder scene But someone did accidentally call me 'morally destroyed' the other day. Anyway, you speak a lot of sense, as does halcyondays I want to say 'thanks', but I can't stand the flowers, so here is some . It's Friday night after all!

An only child doesn't have to share the inheritance

My ex had a second child when he knew his marriage was on the rocks so that his first one wouldn't be the only child of divorced parents which has always seemed to me the very worst reason to have another child

As did my brother.

He neglected to tell my SIL that he had an OW and was intending to be with her as soon as she could come over from the states when he floated the idea of a second child.

He left SIL when she was 8 and a half months pregnant.

He doesn't support his children, his youngest has no idea who he is. His oldest only vague memories.

His justification for deliberatly seeking a second child under those circs, while leaving SIL in the dark ?

He didn't want his firstborn to be an only child.

Because only children grow up spoilt and selfish

Our ds is and will remain an only, we're all happy with that. I have two Sisters and when my Dad was terminally ill, it was left to me and my Mum to deal with it. Having more than one child doesn't always mean they will share the care of their parents in later life.
Tbh I've always thought it a bit odd having children with a view to them taking care of you when you get old anyway.

"I suspect that useless is getting worked up because she's unhappy with her own choices."

Heehee I did wonder how long it would be before someone trotted that one out! Disagreeing with someone doesn't mean that you're unhappy with your choices - sometimes it just means that you don't agree with the other person's point of view.

Promise you, I'm very happy with my choices. We have a lovely, big, happy family. It's stressful at times, but I wouldn't change it for anything! :)

I clicked on the title because I was intrigued by it, and chose to answer the OP's question honestly - I'm certainly not the one getting worked up, I can see I've definitely touched a nerve with many of you though given some of your responses to me.

useless - you are entirely entitled to your own opinion of course. But you were unnecessarily rude to the OP and I'm sorry you can't see that.

She asked if she was being selfish, and I replied that she was - a direct answer to a direct question. It's funny how that's seen as rude, but people have been far ruder to me and that seems to pass without comment!

Anyway, I'm going now - I didn't mean to get this embroiled in a debate with strangers on the internet! (hides thread).

You haven't touched a nerve useless, you've been rude.

Hee, hee.

snuppe - your second paragraph actually made me feel terrible, terrible. i have only one as i am infertile despite ttc for 7 years for a second, i agree with your reason but to read it from somone else's fair hand made me feel ill, it hurts, really really hurts

ace - great post, especially the second paragraph :)