To really want to send DC's to private school even though we can't really afford it?

[DarlingDuck]

DH and I both went to state school and neither of us had very good experiences or were really pushed to our full potential. I can actually count on one hand the amount of people I know from state school who have done well academically and gone on to have sucessful careers. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, just that in my experience private school pupils seem to go on to achieve more.

Everyone I know who went to private school has managed to achieve academically and go on to have sucessful careers and also seem to have a real air of confidence and drive to suceed that I don't often see in other people.

I desperately want my children to go to private school even though we aren't well off at all. Am I being really unreasonable & naive to think they will achieve more at private school?

A warning on fees - the school I looked at for ds (now y10) was then 11k. Now it's 14k.

Agreed with goingmad

As I recall the fees for our 3 consistently increased at a greater rate than inflation. Furthermore when I was 11 I was told by my parents that I couldn't go to the same public school as my older brothers because my parents couldn't afford it any more. The reason being that the fees increases were higher than inflation!

So you can safely assume that fees will always be more than you expect.

Such a worry. I sympathise. But such a lot of money which you won't have when the children have left school to help them. Lots of parents of children who go to the very good state schools here pay for private tuition in maths and english. Keep them really busy with sports, scouts, music lessons etc to keep them out of mischief and give them extra skills to build their confidence.

I haven't read the whole thread, but sympathise. Thing is, if you are obviously not well off, sending your kid to an extremely exclusive private school is a bad idea. I come from a low income, single parent family and I stuck out like a sore thumb at my public girls' school amongst the skiing holidays, ponies and range rovers. I was not very badly bullied, but was definitely 'marked', and always felt inferior and longed for more- I never let people come to my house, although the two friends I made at school are still the greatest friends. Also I guess this sort of shaped how I see things and gave me strength of character, and I don't regret anything. The academic standard was definitely higher than average, mainly because class sizes were smaller and the teachers were not overworked and there was maybe one disruptive pupil per year. But not all the girls were very interesting or friendly, and although lots of them have great careers now, many of them also ust work in recruitment and have battled with eating disorders- a big thing in my school. Don't assume people are all confident because of their education- often it is ust a social veneer which can seem superficial.
I think it's all about the individual- a lot of public schools are more about networking than academia as well.

YABU to worry about sending a child to a state school per se. (I didn't read anything in your post to suggest that local schools were terrible). The vast majority of people go to state school and do absolutely fine (dh and I each have 3 degrees). You are obviously concerned about and interested in your children's education, which will stand them in very good stead. There are also lots of 'top ups' you can get to improve their confidence and attainment - drama lessons, 'mad science' week, kumon maths - which won't bankrupt you. And I think there is a lot to be said in learning to mix with a wide variety of people from all walks of life, which is not an experience they would get at private school.