Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my mother to give my landline number to her new boyfriend?

26 replies

mosschops30 · 11/10/2011 20:31

shes only been seeing him for 3 weeks. Shes coming to stay at half term, she doesnt even stay at the house cos sjes such hard work so stays in a local hotel overnight. She just txt 'can i please give X your number so he can ring me whilst im away'?
I told her no, she is not to give my landline to anyone.
Shes only here for 4 nights ffs.
She has a bloody mobile.

What a nerve!

OP posts:
fourkids · 11/10/2011 20:32

YANBU. Tell her you don't give your number to ANYONE and that she will need to use her mobile.

Selks · 11/10/2011 20:35

It's not really 'a nerve' though, is it? She's only asked you if she could do so, she hasn't actually done so.

slavetofilofax · 11/10/2011 20:38

I don't understand why it's a problem.

But if you are uncomfortable with it, you are NBU to just say no, and make her use her own phone.

mumsamilitant · 11/10/2011 20:39

Well there's obviously more of a problem going on with your mum here. If you dont want to give her beau your number dont. I personally wouldnt mind. Our numbers are no longer private these days anyway.

TheMitfordsMaid · 11/10/2011 20:40

Why would it be a problem?

warthog · 11/10/2011 20:41

why can't he just use her mobile? why does she have to give him your home number?

Original poster
mosschops30 · 11/10/2011 20:42

Really you wouldnt mind giving your house phone number to a complete stranger?
No way would i stay with anyone and then ask if i can give their number to some random so he could continue to woo me whilst i was visiting

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 11/10/2011 20:43

At least she asked. Cant see why it would be a problem. Much cheaper to ring a landline than a mobile if you are not on a suitable contract.

Icelollycraving · 11/10/2011 20:43

I don't really understand why this is such an issue,I must be missing something. Going on info I think yabu.

ImperialBlether · 11/10/2011 20:44

Mosschops, most people have their number in a telephone directory!

If he is involved in drugs or crime of any kind, then no of course you wouldn't want him to have your number. But if he's just a new boyfriend, why shouldn't he? He's hardly likely to call when your mum isn't there.

Perhaps you could let him have the number and say he has to check with her via text before calling.

aquashiv · 11/10/2011 20:47

It doesn't bode well; the visit. She hasnt even hung her hat and already she is getting on your nerves.

Redbluegreen · 11/10/2011 20:50

I really can't see the problem. Don't you give your landline number out all sorts of people and companies? Most of them don't use it. Why wouldn't you want to make your mum's visit nicer and easier for her? Do you think he might phone you for a daily chat when she's gone home?

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 11/10/2011 20:52

It honestly wouldn't bother me.

What's he going to do with it? Ring her while she's staying. Calling a landline is cheaper than calling a mobile. S'only a few phone calls over a couple of days. Unless there is some harm that can be done by him having the phone number, I don't see how it can hurt.

But I suspect this is a symptom of a problem, not the actual problem. Bad/complicated relationship with your mum moss, making you feel like she's taking liberties?

redwineformethanks · 11/10/2011 20:53

I don't see a problem giving out your landline. It's hardly a state secret. I'd think that's OK

Original poster
mosschops30 · 11/10/2011 21:01

She is a manipulative narcissist who spends the year moaning about how hard it is not seeing the dcs and then will spend her time here shopping/watching deal or no deal/having her hair done/having a make up session/having a massage etc and now chatting to her new bloke.

I dont give my house phone number to anyone, i always give my mobile, i find the house phone very intrusive, at least with a mobile you can choose to answer or not, i find that i have to answer the house phone.

Her last boyfriend turned out to be some sort of sexual deviant, he now leaves smutty msgs on her answerphone. I do not want that

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 11/10/2011 22:09

But you could have said that in your OP and we would all have agreed with you!

FabbyChic · 11/10/2011 22:11

Sorry but it is something that was always done years ago, if you went to stay with someone you gave them their number.

Nothing wrong with her asking can't see why you are that bothered to be honest.

However it is just as cheap to talk mobile to mobile now if you have free minutes, plus would be more private for your mum.

Get over yourself.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 11/10/2011 22:19

Right back atcha fabby

And its not always possible to put every scrap of info in your OP

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 11/10/2011 22:20

I actually never use my house phone, it is presently unplugged!

Tell her you don't use it and it's never plugged in, there is no need in this day and age unless you ring a lot of 0845 numbers to have a house phone, unless of course you are on BT broadband then you have to suffer the charges monthly for their line rental.

Hatwoman · 11/10/2011 22:22

are you ex-directory?

Original poster
mosschops30 · 11/10/2011 22:23

Yes ex directory.

It never rings, unless its my mother! Just use it for 0845 as you said

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 11/10/2011 22:23

No, OP, I know you can't put everything in the OP, but if you'd said what she was like and her history of having absolute creeps for boyfriends, it would have affected our answers, I think.

I wouldn't let him have my number under those circumstances and I don't blame you for making her stay in a hotel.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 11/10/2011 22:25

She doesnt have a history of it, shes only just started dating after my father died in 2009. But the last onehad disaster written all over it but she was flattered because he was only 50, good looking etc (she is 66)

OP posts:
notlettingthefearshow · 11/10/2011 22:29

YANBU. It's your number so your right to decide who you give it to.

Rosmarin · 11/10/2011 22:45

If she isn't staying at OP's house - and it's anything like the chats I have with my boyfriend/my flatmate has with hers - it will entail her mum sticking around at her house for an hour or more and occupying the phoneline too. Can she not handle 4 days with just texts/quick chats on mobile?

OP said she was 'such hard work' as it is. YANBU...