Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have spent the childrens savings on paying off the credit cards

104 replies

Shinyshoes1 · 10/10/2011 16:06

and leaving us virtually debt free?

We put a fair amount in the kids accounts monthly for when they are older. The money is for when they are 21 or 25, ideally not 18 as I dont want them let loose with loads of cash to fritter away on a pals trip to Ibiza or somesuch.

Anyway, Depression last year made me go out of control a little bit and I racked up the credit cards. I am on medication now and feel better about myself but have been left with 2 credit cards I was struggling to pay each month.

This way I've told myself I'm under no huge pressure to make repayments eachmonth paying them back, I've got plenty of time to pay them back whereas a credit card wont be so forgiving if I can't make the payment each month

I just feel so gulity using their money to do it though.

AIBU , have I done the right thing.

DP has been a bit quiet since I told him i'm doing this

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 10/10/2011 18:54

Get yourself a pre-paid credit card from Virgin,when you want to buy something from M&S used that, they do prepaid Mastercards.

Oh and you can use Visa Electrons at Tescos online.

FabbyChic · 10/10/2011 18:55

I see you are trying here to put something on your husband but it isnt him that has taken the childrens money for themselves is it? It's you!

VivaLeBeaver · 10/10/2011 18:57

I don't really understand why if you can afford to replace your kids money then why you couldn't have afforded to pay the credit cards.

My aunt did this to her kids and never repaid the money back. Big difference there though was that the money had been left to her kids by their great aunt.

skybluepearl · 10/10/2011 18:58

Well the money is from you in the first place. It's only money you were putting in an account on for them and i think that makes borrowing it much easier.

HappyMummyOfOne · 10/10/2011 19:00

M&S and Tesco both take visa debit cards, most debit cards are visa.

I actually now think YABVU reading the extra info, so you get to use the savings to give you "peace of mind" yet your DP still has debt? Whose money went into the savings account in the first place - if he I would be very mad that I was left with debt whilst you are free to spend again.

banana87 · 10/10/2011 19:02

Now cancel the credit cards, and set up a DD to your kids accounts and done!

TheFallenMadonna · 10/10/2011 19:05

We don't pay into savings accounts in our children's names. We fully intend to use some of our own savings to fund university perhaps, or whatever is needed, but it is our money, and we decide how to spend it. They also have money from their grandparents that is their own.

Glad you have talke dit through with your DP now. That was the only sticking point for me.

Original poster
Shinyshoes1 · 10/10/2011 19:23

I've never heard of a prepaid card from Virgin , I will have to have a look into that

tesco's do take Visa Debit now. I know as recently as a month or two ago they weren't so I'm pleased about that, thanks Fabbychic Smile

OP posts:
TalkinPeace2 · 10/10/2011 19:25

If you look at this spreadsheet
that I wrote a while back, you will see that if OP was paying £300 a month off her credit cards, then more than £100 per month of that was profit for the credit card company.
Now, that £100 can go back into her DC's accounts much much faster....

FabbyChic · 10/10/2011 19:27

I used Tescos last year and they took Visa Debit.

uk.virginmoney.com/virgin/service/prepaid-card/

Original poster
Shinyshoes1 · 10/10/2011 19:30

but I'm not spending again. I have cleared the CC's and chopped up one. I work part-time, I earn less , he works full time, he earns more so has more disposable to pay of his CC, he doesn't see his one as a debt, to him it's managable.
We both put into the account, it doesn't matter who put in what it's from us to our children and they will be getting it back . As i've said I have set up a DD to start next month to pay them back.

Although the monthly amount will be less than that of the CC but it doesn't matter they don't need the money yet. I have a few years to pay them back with extra rather than struggling month after month to get it down as soon as possible.

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 10/10/2011 19:32

Tesco have always taken Visa Debit. Do you mean Solo? That's usually the dodgy one for payment (not that the card is dodgy, but that a lot of place won't take it).

In theory, YANBU. But you absolutely must not treat this as a clean slate to start spending again. You need to be very careful and conservative with money to make sure you pay back what you have taken.

Original poster
Shinyshoes1 · 10/10/2011 19:33

Wow talkinpeace that's some spreadsheet Grin

I didnt realise it would be as much as £100.00 profit for the CC company no wonder it was taking me an age to pay it off. Some months all I could afford was the minimum payment and I know that's not the best thing to do

OP posts:
Original poster
Shinyshoes1 · 10/10/2011 19:34

Tidydancer I have every intention of doing exactly as you've said

OP posts:
Kayano · 10/10/2011 19:35

You have only chopped up one card despite having cleared them all and you have left DH with his card because you don't think of it as a debt...?

I don't hold out much hope for them
Getting the savings back tbh... You both need to sit down and sort it out.

Any credit card debt it still debt even if 'manageable'

I can't get my head round your way of thinking there lol

aldiwhore · 10/10/2011 19:36

YANBU.

You have priorities.

I spent all my savings on my mates and beer within two months... I feel guilty NOW I'm older as my folks really went without to put a little by for me, but as I've told them DUH!!! They agreed and are now happy and spending my inheritence with gusto... the way it should be.

Original poster
Shinyshoes1 · 10/10/2011 19:36

I had a Visa Electron up until Feb this year then I was sent a Visa Debit when the Electron expired. I always had trouble with the Electron and assumed they were the same , I didnt ask for it to be changed to Debit . I assumed it was the new name for the Electron

OP posts:
MarginallyNarkyPuffin · 10/10/2011 19:45

YANBU at all. It was a very sensible thing to do. The interest you pay on credit cards is huge. The interest you get paid on savings is miniscule. It would be stupidity to struggle to pay off the interest on the credit card debt let alone the principle when you have the whole amount in another account.

You would be very unreasonable not to have a serious review of your joint finances. The fact that you have 'empty' credit cards is not enough. You need to plan your finances, clearing any credit card debt your DH has too. Then pay back the money you want to set aside for the children.

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 10/10/2011 20:52

I do think you should pay it back asap. If that amount of capital was still in your DC's bank accounts, then it would at least be earning some interest, whereas if you pay it back slowly then it isn't earning anything - infact the value of it will decrease over time.

forrestgump · 10/10/2011 20:57

as long as you now chop up those credit cards and dont fall into this position again, then fair enough. But if you find yourself in this same position in a few years time, and havnt paid the children back thier money, then i see a problem.

We have paid for a much needed holiday with the childrens savings, but we replaced it with in 12 months, and dh even added a bit! We were both very uncomfortable doing it, if i had racked up debt on my own, i know dh would be furious.

TalkinPeace2 · 10/10/2011 21:00

Ali
in a childs savings account they will be lucky to be getting 2%
as against around 25% charged on the credit card

even on Radio 4 they say pay down borrowings before saving while rates are low

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 10/10/2011 21:21

Talkin I know - the point I'm making is that if the OP only pays back what she has borrowed, then her DCs will have less money than if she had left it there.

Original poster
Shinyshoes1 · 10/10/2011 21:25

I'm going to be putting in extra on top of what I owe

OP posts:
BrandyAlexander · 10/10/2011 21:28

I am probably the lone voice here but YABU not to have have discussed it with dh first but otherwise YANBU. I think if saving for dcs as something that's a luxury, not a necessity, and therefore something you do when other things are financially sorted out. I never got a penny from my parents because they didn't have it and I was expected to make my own way in life. They had plenty of debts, and I would have expected them to pay those off first because their peace of mind was/is far more important than some cash from them.

mamalovesmojitos · 10/10/2011 21:29

YANBU but you must be more careful in future. Get rid of credit cards. I've never had one and it's a blessing.