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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how a school can allow their girls to dress like this?

325 replies

Piggyleroux · 10/10/2011 09:57

I only have 1 ds of 18 mo so am probably very out of touch but here goes.

I picked up dh from his weekend on call at queens hospital in Romford. On the way I was stuck in traffic outside a school and was frankly shocked by how short the girls skirts were. They were actually bum skimming. They also were all wearing over the knee black socks so a vast quantity of thigh was on show.

Am I just an old prude? I felt sad tbh that they felt they had to dress like this probably to fit in. Why doesn't the school impose a below the knee rule?

OP posts:
GumballCharm · 10/10/2011 12:02

What the hell is wrong wth skirts loveglove?? If you want to say school is for learning...so no skirts....then you have to say the same about the office....and how does wearing a skirt stop you from learning???

Rivenwithoutabingle · 10/10/2011 12:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 10/10/2011 12:02

yy GOML

Even with the most standardised of unforms (regulation everything ) it's easy enough to pick out the child in the 4th generation hand-me-downs or the one whose uniform is too perfectly new...

Bullies will always find something.

Fo0ffyShmooffer · 10/10/2011 12:03

Scaredbear - I wonder if you'll be such a hip and cool parent when it's your DD.

GetOrfMo1Land · 10/10/2011 12:03

I was at senior school in the grunge era - I wore a floor length black shirt with DMs.

god I looked as ghastly as all the girls who were into rave music and wore lycra mini skirts.

loveglove · 10/10/2011 12:04

What the hell is wrong wth skirts loveglove?? If you want to say school is for learning...so no skirts....then you have to say the same about the office....and how does wearing a skirt stop you from learning???

What? I haven't said there's anything wrong with skirts...have you got me mixed up with someone else?

scaryteacher · 10/10/2011 12:05

Oh good - so as a teacher I could also express myself and come in with a plunging neckline on my shirt - a short skirt and stockings that showed leg at the top and my thong peeking out at the back.

I worked on the principle of 'if you don't want to see mine, don't show me yours' in my classroom. It is my place of work and I don't want to be made to feel ill by the amount of cleavage, both chest and bum, on display. Dressing appropriately is one of the lessons kids need to learn for when they are older, and best they learn it now.

Even if you have no uniform you still get the 'tits, tums and bums' problem; and it affects the boys learning as they can't concentrate when x has such a low slung top or so ds tells me. I really object when girls go into school looking like Britney in the 'Hit me baby one more time' video; but then, in one school where we had a strict no make up policy I made the girls take their make up off - with the bottle of Anne French and the cotton wool pads I kept in my desk drawer. Excuses for lateness were 'the GHDs didn't heat up in time' and 'I lost my mascara Miss' and these were year 8! I am very cats bum mouth about the whole thing. I am also very glad I have a boy, as I just have to make sure he has cleaned his teeth, used deodorant and has clean underwear.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 10/10/2011 12:06

GetOrf... It's hardly spiteful to make an observation on appearance on a chatboard. It's the basis of AIBU for goodness sakes... Shock

It's my opinion that larger girls look more uncomfortable - and unkempt - than smaller girls. That said, they all can look messy and scruffy.

It's also my opinion that bum-skimming skirts look tarty. It doesn't make the person wearing them a tart though, anymore than somebody wearing a fancy dress outfit makes them whatever they're dressed up as.

I didn't find Zukie's posts smug either... she was just posting about her own daughters, not judging other people's handling of theirs.

AIBU is tetchy today... Confused

RIZZ0 · 10/10/2011 12:07

Picking on children you deem to be to "large" for a uniform isn't very nice, agreed.

What is the real point here is premature sexualisation of our female children, which is a big campaign here at MN. As much as some posters would like to think that what they wear has got nothing to do with how well a child learns, it is a distraction to have a lot of flesh on show, not only for boys their own age, but also for men. It always make me cringe and seethe when I see blokes leering out of cars at 12 year olds walking down the street in short skirts and uniforms they have tarted up. Our children need protection from this kind of attention.

I would also say that out of all of the girls in my class, the ones with the "taken in" and "taken up" skirts were nearly aways the first to be sexually active. Just from personal experience.

And Bonsoir - you can be as well dressed as you like, but constantly sneering at people will always make you look ugly.

CamperFan · 10/10/2011 12:07

I agree with your approach scaryteacher and hope there are some teachers like you in DS's school in the future!

ScaredBear · 10/10/2011 12:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GetOrfMo1Land · 10/10/2011 12:07

I am sure also scary that you have colleagues who do dress inappropriately, or dress like complete slobs.

WilsonFrickett · 10/10/2011 12:07

The DS's could always choose not to look at the low-slung top scary Hmm

RIZZ0 · 10/10/2011 12:08

Riven Grin

ElaineReese · 10/10/2011 12:09

The boys' learning is their own issue, and girls shouldn't be made to feel in any way responsible for it due to their own appearance or dress. There may be many reasons to object to very short skirts, but the fact that it might distract the poor old boys would not be one of them, for me.

GetOrfMo1Land · 10/10/2011 12:09

Urgh yes I remember when we ran the cross country when aged 12, 13 (in those ghastly short navy pleated gym skirts) we ran past a factory where all the blokes would be leering out the windows and in the doorways at us

GladbagsAndYourHandrags · 10/10/2011 12:10

If our society wasn't obsessed with objectifying women, we wouldn't have this problem.

I don't care that girls roll their skirts up. But I do care for them that this is something they obviously feel they should do to look attractive and fit in.

Fo0ffyShmooffer · 10/10/2011 12:11

Rizzo agree completely.

EricNorthmansMistress · 10/10/2011 12:12

Teenage girls want to look older and sexy (as a rule, I know not all of them) and they believe that showing more skin = older and sexier. As we get older we realise that it's not sexier just because you can see more, and that showing tits and arse can make you look younger and less sophisticated. It's completely understandable that the girls are dressing like this. What I don't understand is how they get away with it - those in tiny stretchy belt/skirts (not uniform skirts rolled up) are leaving their house like that, and spending all day at school like that. Why don't their parents say 'oi, no' and why do school turn a blind eye?

I don't really care what anyone thinks, no teenage daughter of mine would be wearing a skirt that showed the outline or bottom of her arse cheeks anywhere let alone to school. Maybe it's old fashioned to want to maintain an element of control over teenagers' clothing but I don't really give a fuck when the alternative is my teenage daughter showing the world her arse.

GumballCharm · 10/10/2011 12:13

I care that people on here think its ok to make young girls cover up because f the misbehaviour of MEN. That's NOT ok. It's the MEN who leer who want changing. NOt the kids.

scaryteacher · 10/10/2011 12:13

Getorf - no actually, all my colleagues dress professionally; 'twas the rules.

Wilson - yeah, as if your normal hormonal 15 yo lad is going to avert his eyes from the acres of cleavage around.Hmm

Fo0ffyShmooffer · 10/10/2011 12:14

"If our society wasn't obsessed with objectifying women, we wouldn't have this problem.

I don't care that girls roll their skirts up. But I do care for them that this is something they obviously feel they should do to look attractive and fit in"

YY to that too. From a shy kid with next to no self esteem who did it just to fit in.

ElaineReese · 10/10/2011 12:15

If you need to tell girls to button their shirts up properly, fine. It's not fine to use the hormonal 15 year old lad as the reason they need to do so.

GetOrfMo1Land · 10/10/2011 12:17

Scary - as if your normal hormonal 15 year old girl is going to want to have to 'button up' in order to avoid the stares of boys. You seem to be rather judgy towards teen girls as opposed to teen boys.

squeakytoy · 10/10/2011 12:18

Many of these girls adjust their clothes after they get out of the house. Their mothers see them leaving for school looking respectable, but by the time they are at the bus stop, they could be auditioning for a part in St Trinians.

Equally, many girls come from a generation of parents who want their daughter to be their "best mate" and will encourage them to dress however they like because they have no respect for rules themselves.

However, no amount of campaigning will make teenage girls who are just discovering the joys of flirting, teasing and their own sexuality, to tone it down. Teenage girls have more determination than any other age group.