To wonder how a school can allow their girls to dress like this?

[Piggyleroux]

I only have 1 ds of 18 mo so am probably very out of touch but here goes.

I picked up dh from his weekend on call at queens hospital in Romford. On the way I was stuck in traffic outside a school and was frankly shocked by how short the girls skirts were. They were actually bum skimming. They also were all wearing over the knee black socks so a vast quantity of thigh was on show.

Am I just an old prude? I felt sad tbh that they felt they had to dress like this probably to fit in. Why doesn't the school impose a below the knee rule?

As a mum of 2 DS I feel sorry for the boys - must make it harder to control the teenage hormones and concentrate in class with bare thighs, arse skimming skirts and over the knee socks as distractions. Mine are still too young for this to be an issue but I wish I could send them to single sex school to avoid it.

They dont avoid it in single sex schools as the train my son gets to school each morning also carries both the boys and girls who go to the 2 single sex schools in our town.
The girls from the (very good) girls school all turn up early at the station having been dropped off by daddy in his 4 x4 then spend 25 minutes in the bike shelter adjustiong their skirts and putting some eye liner on before the boys from the (also very good) boys school turn up and then they start the usual mating rituals of teenagers.

Just cannot understand why and parent worth their salt would send their child to school looking like a tramp

And why parent encourage their children only to follow the rules at school they see fit school is not the place for being trendy its the place to Learn

But I guess thats why some children are so rude and entitled because their never have to do what their told and worse still their wilful rule breaking is encouraged by weak willed parents, or ones trying to regain their plain days at school back, or just tarty mums who most likely dress similar to work don't understand why its innaproprate for a young girl to bewaring loads of makeup have her fanjo showing under what can loosely described as a skirt and have her breasts popping out of a tiny tight white shirt in which Is a place of learning

"Just cannot understand why and parent worth their salt would send their child to school looking like a tramp"

Do you actually have secondary aged children? Do you realise that most of those made-up, fanjo showing girls are leaving the home smartly but spending their time on the bus doing their make-up and whatever else.

My son leaves the house with his shirt tucked in. I sometimes pass him on my work standing at the bus stop, shirt tucked out. It's a 30 second walk. I know he tucks it in again at school because they have a very strict uniform policy.
What to do?

Gradually - why don't you take your mascara-loving girls to have an eyelash tint? I think that the no make-up rule is dreadful for self-conscious teens but I also agree with it because most teens have no clue about how to apply make-up and make a real hash of it. An eyelash tint (and a very gentle eyebrow tidy up) and a sweep of bronzing powder is generally absolutely all a teen girl needs to look her best, providing skin care is under control.

cantspel your post made me laugh. I went to a single sex school, but our social lives revolved around the bus - 45 mins each way - shared with the "other" girls school, and 2 independent boys schools. I still meet people now (as we have moved back to the area) and the point is not which school you went to, but which bus you were on . When considering which school to send my DS to, my main thought was not whether he could cope with the school, but whether he was old enough to cope with the bus.

funkychicken the best way for your sons to learn to control their hormones and impulses WRT girls is for them to spend time around girls practising impulse control. in a school with rules this is the best place for them to practise it.

i was sent to an all girls school and i wish i hadn't been. when i left and went on to 6th form college i had no clue how to socialise with boys. i had been trained to see boys as a novelty, a taboo, forbidden etc. this is not a healthy attitude to instil in young people if you expect them to see the opposite sex as equals.

Bonsoir "Gradually - why don't you take your mascara-loving girls to have an eyelash tint? I think that the no make-up rule is dreadful for self-conscious teens but I also agree with it because most teens have no clue about how to apply make-up and make a real hash of it. An eyelash tint (and a very gentle eyebrow tidy up) and a sweep of bronzing powder is generally absolutely all a teen girl needs to look her best, providing skin care is under control."

I agree with the tinting and brow stuff, but I find the skin care comment quite wrong. I as a teenager cleansed, toned & moisturised everyday, but I had awful, spotty skin, so much so that I ended up at a dermatologist to get it sorted (I was put on strong tablets that required liver testing every 6 months).

The only way to make me feel better at school was the use of make up to help with the appearance of my skin. I looked after it, and no, my makeup didn't cause my acne before people jump in with that, being a teenager caused it. I still have to be on the (contraceptive) pill now to control my skin and I'm nearly 28.

isn't that more to do with the schools' handling of bullying though? rather than the fact boys and girls are being taught together? i mean, there was bullying at my school which was all girls. do you really think the way to teach people not to bully the opposite sex is to just keep them out of reach of each other? if a boy is inclined to bully a girl, he will find a girl to bully whether that be a girl in school, a girl on the bus (happened to me) or his mum/sister at home. surely it is better to stamp out the whole bullying attitude in school and educate them on respect than to postpone the problem til they are out of the school gates?

fabbychic I take offence at your comment that ALL teen girls in Romford have had sex by age 15... you know this How?

This could diverge into a debate about single sex vs mixed education. Booooo - I recognise your description - I went to a single sex school, and most of my friends left to go to the "boys" school for 6th form. As you describe - boys were a novelty, not slightly smelly classmates you had known for ever - and almost without exception bright girls who had done well at O level did far worse than "expected" at A level.

I stayed at the girls school, was taught in very small groups by teachers who had known me since I was 11, and did probably better than I really deserved.

That said, I was a spoddy geek and wasn't really that bothered about boys anyway - and went to uni and straight into a massively male-dominated degree course (

riven i agree with you, bullying has always happened and will always happen. i dont think separating girls and boys is the solution though. in primary i was bullied by 1 boy and several girls, in secondary school i was bullied by a boy who got the same bus as me. so i was separated from boys at school but was still bullied by one on the bus. my sister was bullied by 1 girl in primary and 1 different girl in secondary school (all girls again).

maypole1 - whilst I would not put it quite as strongly as you I would certainly say that in my observation there are mothers who certainly encourage their daughters to break the dress code. Dads can't really say much but they probably should be telling sons to smarten up.

That is why it is essential the HT in a school lays down the dress code rules and excludes anyone who breaks them - it inconveniences the parent and sends a verly loud message home.

Myy Ds go to the stricter private school in our town and parents are made to sign a contract before entry that they will adhere to school rules and ensure their children do. I know one girl whose mother is shall we say quite lacadaysical in her own dress and her daughter has already been pulled up for a skirt 4 cm too short. She won't do it again, as the admonishment has been noted and discussed by the whole class.

4 pages later...

YANBU but try not to be too shocked. I see girls going to school in the mornings with inch-thick makeup, frazzled hair and tiny short skirts/tight, tight trousers and smile to myself because they look ridiculous but that's what teenagers do. Same when I drove very slowly behind a teenage boy on a BMX cycling with no hands in the middle of the road up a very long hill - I started feeling annoyed and then thought, "Hey, he's a kid, he thinks he just soooo bad and cool" and had a patient giggle at his attempt at shocking rebellion.

When I was at school (only 7 years ago!) I wore the same skirt from year 7- year 11. Obviously I grew so the skirt got shorter and wouldn't go round my waist, so it ended up with the waistband somewhere over my navel. My mum bought me new skirts every year but I insisted on wearing the nice year 7 skirt . I looked ridiculous but she let me get on with it as long as I wasn't getting into trouble and doing well academically. Wise lady. I also thought that blue mascara and white eyeliner was very sophisticated and those tiny hairgrips that look like springs were the height of cool.

Whoever said that not having a school uniform helps French/Italians/Spaniards dress better as adults obviously has a very limited experience of these nationalities. Anywhere outside of Milan the main 'look' for Italian women is fake leopard-skin accessories, fake leather and bejewelled and chained footwear. Niiiice...

"mothers who certainly encourage their daughters to break the dress code. Dads can't really say much but they probably should be telling sons to smarten up."

since when have mothers been solely responsible for how their daughters dress and fathers solely responsible for how their sons dress? isn't it a case of parents telling their dcs to smarten up rather than fathers dealing with boys and mothers with girls?

To the poster who said 'what do you expect, it's Romford', stop being such an uppity snob.

Regardless of the location of the school, most secondary school aged children will try and push the boundaries and make their uniform more 'trendy'. It's often an ongoing battle with the teachers, and was the same when I was at school.

I am pretty sure that the kids you saw will be ordered to roll their skirts back down once they got to the school gates/classroom, and merely hoist it back up again when they venture out of school with their friends.

To the poster who talked about her dd's putting make-up on once they leave the house-eh stop buying it for them or dont give them pocket money so they cant purchase it. Ban pc,mobiles,nights out etc until they get the message?. Be a parent in fact.

Yes teenagers will rebel but it is your job as a parent to judge how far they can push it. My dd will go about looking like a lap dancer over my dead body.

Re: Bonsoir and the suggestion of eyelash tinting - I'm a bit wary of that, as all my DDs have quite sensitive skin. I'd hate for them to have an allergic reaction to eyelash dye, that sounds mega painful.

pink4ever - I don't know if that was aimed at me and my DDs - my DD1 does put eyeliner on behind when she leaves the house.

If so, firstly I'd like to point out that at NO point do any of my DDs look like lap dancers. At worst, they look like silly children dressing up. And quite frankly, if they only rebel by rolling up their skirts and putting on eyeliner, I'm going to breathe a big sigh of relief. I'm guessing you don't have teens?

Yes, I don't CONDONE it, and I take away the eyeliner if I catch her, binned the lycra micro mini monstrosity and make her roll down her skirt if I see it. If I catch her with it rolled up, she knows full well that she's going to have no allowance/be grounded/extra chores. However, I don't doubt that every day when she gets on that bus she rolls up the skirt. Can I prove it? No. Would I rather she stopped? Yes, of course. But unless I follow her to school every day, just to catch her, then I guess I have to let it go. And as I have to work, that's not an option. So I will continue catching her (and no doubt DD2 and DD3) whenever I see them, and dealing with it as best as I can.

Around here school uniform is: mini skirt up to arse/ tons of fake tan/ massive false eyelashes/ pale lips. In my day that would have been frowned on as 'trying too hard' and dressing for the boys.

We wore draggy long skirts/long cardigans or shorter skirts/ flat brogues with grolsch bottle tops and black bomber jackets with badges (hmm). I am 38.

Same reasons then as now though- i.e. trying to fit in rather than being 'individual' -as someone said upthread.

I did make this face when a girl got off the bus last week with pleated skirt up to arse and stockings & suspenders hanging out the bottom tho!

Oddly enough, the fashion for uniforms in my town is floor-skimming! Has been this way since I was young (25yrs ago)

The girls look Victorian from the waist down, I like it. Whenever I'm in another city I'm horrified at the short skirts and plump thighs on display

I have to agree with bonkers up there.
My parents were the strictest in the village, we all had to leave the house having pretty much being inspected like the von trapp family.....fat ties,below knee length skirts, socks and shoes tied up neatly!
.....But guess what, on the little walk to the bus we would throw away mums home made sandwiches in the ditch(to eat chips at school), roll up our skirts and turn our fat ties into skinny ties.
This was a proceedure we carried out every day on the way to and from school

• those were the the late 1980's early 90's and the school bus was the highlight of our day.

Oh and that wasn't in Romford, that was rural Shropshire!
I am sure there are parents out there who couldn't give a monkeys how their children dress or how they leave the house, but that certainly doesn't go for all parents whose teenagers are seen around town with their skirts up their bum.