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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to beg my doctor for help.

58 replies

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 09/10/2011 17:47

I'm fat, and I know it, everyday I hate getting dressed because I know ill always look shit, I've hidden behind being a mum for too long.

I'm 5ft 8" and weight over 20st I'm not sure by how much but last weigh is was 22 and I've been terrible since then.

I want to change but I've damaged myself to an extent that I can't see how ill ever be happy without food. I did slimming world for ages and did really well but due to 2 family deaths and 6months of homelessness I had a nervous breakdown and couldn't focus at all and slipped into worse habbits than ever.

I'm now settled, have a very supportive dp and two extremely healthy children, my weight problem means I'm ridiculously careful with there diet so its time I was with own.

Will my gp help me? I don't want surgery no way, I want guidance to be HEALTHY. I want to be more confident and I want my kids to be proud of me.

OP posts:
iMemoo · 09/10/2011 17:49

Yanbu at all.

FabbyChic · 09/10/2011 17:50

Your GP will help you of that I am certain.

You however do have to help yourself too.

Obesity causes deaths due to blood pressure and heart problems.

Seeing your GP is only the first step onto a healthier you.

Walk where you can rather than take the car or bus.

Get some gentle exercise too until you feel comfortable enough to join the gym, or if your kids have a Wii buy a Wii fit and use that for regular exercise, you don't have to exert yourself but you do have to do something to help the weight come off.

Good luck.

Signet2012 · 09/10/2011 17:51

Your GP will certainly help you, they can GP referral you to slimming world and also to gyms (not lycra skinny gyms regular community gyms) They can give you tablets but try do it yourself as the side effects can be nasty, you know what to do as you say yourself you have already done well following a diet, you could be referred to counselling if they feel it would benefit you.

Good luck :)

LynetteScavo · 09/10/2011 17:51

You shouldn't have to beg your GP for help. They should be able to provide it with you asking in a sane, rational way. Grin

Do you have any idea of how to eat/live healthily or do you need to start at the begin? You say you are careful with your DC's diet, so I guess you do have some idea of what is healthy. Smile

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 09/10/2011 17:52

What do you think your GP can tell you that you don't already know? I think you need a real idea of what you actually want from them before yu make an appointment so you don't leave disappointed. They can't do it for you, and it sounds like you really want to lose weight this time. Noone is going to give you an easy way to do that unfortunately. I've seen a lot of threads where people have been disappointed by their GPs in this instance. It's lik ehtey want their GPs to take the responsibility for them losing weight. Unfortunately it won't work that way. Why not start a slimming club again?

TimeForMeIsFree · 09/10/2011 17:52

I am sure your GP will help you Smile

We have a GP led scheme locally where you are referred to a group which supports you with advice and exercise. All the people who attend seem to really enjoy it, maybe something like that would suit you?

WoeIsMeAgain · 09/10/2011 17:54

depends on the gp

some are very helpful, others less so

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 09/10/2011 17:55

When you say you won't be happy without food, well, you don't sound very happy with it. How would it be worse? Seriously - start small, with one little thing that you know you can do, and let the little success spur you on to the next little goal.
Are you in a SureStart area? They can be very helpful if you ask them - there are loads of schemes and programs set up now. They vary from place to place so you need to go and see what they do where you are.
I found the doctor did just tend to say "gastric band" and didn't want or couldn't be bothered with suggesting anything else, but the Surestart (well I think she's from surestart, I was referred a different way but she definitely said people can self refer, and mentioned surestart) woman was wonderful. (I can't think of her official title, it'll come back to me later I expect)

Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 09/10/2011 18:01

Thank you for the supportive messages.

I know how to be healthy. Me and dp enjoy healthy foods, we both just eat far too much of it.

Now were settled in our new house, ds is in school I'm walking him everyday, dd in the pushchair and I'm trying to do it as briskly as possible.

I'd love to join a gym but dp is the driver, the nearest (I know of) is 30min drive to the next town and I have dd all day and no childcare options.

Do wii fits really help? We have a wii from pre dcs and its gathering dust if they're good I'd consider it. I'm going to borrow just dance from the library tomorrow as that's quite good I hear.

I know this is going to take years, its a lifestyle change I need not a quick fix, I long to run with my dcs and go on bike rides without being tired and looking stupid

OP posts:
TimeForMeIsFree · 09/10/2011 18:06

I just go out walking every day. I have a pedometer and it does get addictive trying to increase your steps. I also walk to the supermarket and carry my shopping home in a back pack. I walk to town too to save on the bus fares. Much cheaper than joining a gym and something I can fit into every day life without having to make time for it.

Where there is a will there is a way Smile

squeakytoy · 09/10/2011 18:09

wii fit helps... walking helps... a balanced calorie controlled diet helps.. and if you do all of those, the weight will go..

get the myfitnesspal app on your phone or computer and use it religiously without cheating.. it is brilliant..

you dont need your GP, you just need a good plan, and willpower..

gaveitago · 09/10/2011 18:19

The myfitnesspal app is fantastic, my dh is using it and has lost loads of weight happily. He uses it as a computer game and is very aware of calorie in take and exercise out put. Good luck and take it one day at a time.

laptopdancer · 09/10/2011 18:23

timeformeisfree you must get much shopping. I have a boot full !.

Allboxedin · 09/10/2011 18:24

Of course ask. You are in the right frame of mind and he will appreciate that. He might refer you to a dietician or something to help too.

Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 09/10/2011 18:32

Will look at the app, got a pedometer so will dig that out for tomorrow.

Does the app (or anywhere else) help you calculate calories for home-made meals, ie bolognese, I do all from scratch, I know a tin of toms will have the gdas, but about the, veg etc I put in?

OP posts:
Incroyable · 09/10/2011 18:33

YAB very reasonable! Any GP would be very pleased to see and help someone who sounds as motivated as you, to lead a healthier lifestyle. Well done for getting around to doing something about it. Phone the surgery this week to make an appointment. Good luck! :)

Incroyable · 09/10/2011 18:34

Try myfitnesspal for calorie calculations :)

gaveitago · 09/10/2011 18:35

The app seems to be able to do anything. You can scan the tins you use and it will tell you the calories for that brand, it can do the veg too or have a generic "home made" bol count.

bagelmonkey · 09/10/2011 18:40

YANBU. Some very good advice here. Remember that proper weight loss will take time, gradual weight kiss means you're more likely to keep the weight off than a sudden crash diet you can't keep to.
Also, starvation is the enemy of exercise and sustained weight loss.
Good luck.

bagelmonkey · 09/10/2011 18:40

Weight loss, not kiss.

laptopdancer · 09/10/2011 18:40

Can you get it on android?

mosschops30 · 09/10/2011 18:43

When you say you know how to eat healthy, what sort of thibgs do you eat?

Shodan · 09/10/2011 18:45

Definitely ask your doctor. Also ask him/her if he/she knows of any exercise classes near to you-could you go in the evenings?

Check out your local library for notices about classes- an ex fellow karate friend of mine runs classes during the day for parents-the kids go too. Do you have a bike? Could you cycle to a class in the evenings? Get a child carrier for daytimes?

Try to think creatively about exercise- every little helps. Take the stairs two at a time , do lunges/stomach crunches/press-ups/tricep dips (whatever you can manage) while your bath is running/while you're waiting for the kettle to boil etc. Even a couple of each will help build your strength and stamina, as well as muscle.

You could maybe start a thread on here to track your progress too?

Whatever you decide, the very best of luck. The determination to do it is the hardest part and you've already achieved that.

Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 09/10/2011 19:31

Thank you all, I've decided to sell my stupid inpractical buggy and I've found a 2nd hand air fill tyre one and I shall walk walk walk, we live 20mins away from an amazing forest my dd would love, I'm going to say, thursday is woods day and we'll walk there have a picnic and walk home, I'm also going to find my leisure centre and take her swimming, I know its not high burn swimming with a 2yo but its something for her and I have the walk there and back.

Dps totally on board.

I've just downloaded myfitnesspal, its fantastic! Exactly what I need, not sure about android I have it on a blackberry dp on an ipod touch.

Need to do a food shop so I can start as I mean to go on from tomorrow :)

Thank you all you've given me a much needed boost! X

OP posts:
TarquinGyrfalcon · 09/10/2011 19:37

Good luck JJ

Another vote for MyFitnessPal. If you are making meals from scratch you put in all the indredients and then save it as a meal - if you eat 25% of what you make (eg meal served into 4 portions) then you log that. You can save the meals so the longer you use it the easier it becomes.
It has even motivated me to do 'light housework' as that counts towards your exercise total.

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