to not want to rock my baby to sleep EVERY TIME?!

[munkeychops]

I seem to have got in this position where my 3 and a half month old daughter needs to be walked around and rocked for 10-15mins before every single nap or badetime. The only exeption is when out in pushchair, and then she she drops off. I am quite worried that this is habit forming (well, already formed!) and I need to nip it in the bud sooner rather than later. Only problem is, everything I read says CIO shouldn't be used for under 6 months - do people really stick to this? And if so, what other options do I have? Currently, if I don't rock her to sleep she simply won't sleep and gets more and more worked up.

Any sucess stories of cracking this habit would be greatly appreciated.

Ok I am clearly the exception but I avoided rocking to sleep so that my dd could drift off without help. We would have a cuddle, then I would put her down drowsy but awake. I would sometimes have to go back to her and shh her or pat her but now at 7 months she can be put dwnwide awake and sort herself to sleep with only her comforter. Everyone I know who rocked to sleep is still doing it now and wishing they hadn't. It was my mum who told me to avoid it. My dd never cried to sleep though. Not rocking does not have to equal crying!

I have asked this before, but if forcing the issue with a 3 month old to not create a rod for one's back involves crying every night for a fortnight, what work you saving? It is either tears and trouble with a tiny baby or with an older one as you break the habit. Personally I think an older child is more able to cope with and understand disruption so that would be my choice every time.

Well you obviously had a baby who was happy to go down without being rocked Coraltoes, which would appear to be unusual. The op doesn't.

smell of sick- well bully for you!However all children are different and because your one baby learned to self-sooth after a few months, it is ridiculously arrogant to suggest that you know they all will.

trying to leave- you prove the case!!You haven't taught them to put themselves to sleep.

There are some phrases that should be banned from the English language , and "making a rod for your own back" is one of them imo!

Rock her to sleep - she'll grow up secure in the knowledge that her needs will be met. This period in her life will last for the blink of an eye.

We did CIO with dd1 at 6-8 weeks which with hindsight was far too young and a severe method but it worked and she has always been perfect at getting to sleep and staying asleep.
DD2 I realised we had been to harsh with dd1 and we did CC at 6 months. It took 3 months for a full months sleep from starting it. She is also a good sleeper generally but is more inclined to come in to our room very early in the morning.
Shush pat method is fine. Put the baby in the cot awake with no stimulation, kiss, say its sleep time sweetie, stroke head/tummy and walk out. Leave for a couple of minutes, go back and repeat as necessary or sit beside the cot without eye contact. Don't pick back up whatever happens, just soothe and shush.
If sleep is always about the same time it helps because they get into that rhythem and feel tired at those times.

Actually I probably didn't make myself particularly clear Spiderpig8, all I was trying to say was that rocking to sleep and so on is pretty common and not really a problem (IMO) in those early days but you do get to a point where you might need to think about helping them to learn to sleep by themselves.

For me, in the end, I almost became a barrier for her so leaving her for a few minutes meant she did (when she was ready) learn to fall asleep on her own.

There's no rush though and beating yourself up about cuddling/rocking to sleep in those early days will only lead to a stressed out mum.

My objection was that particular phrase. I know it's used commonly and maybe even in a well meaning way but I know for me, it made me feel awful. It made me feel that my baby was going to be sleeping in my arms when she was 8 and that I'd already failed to make the right choices for her at the grand old age of five weeks old.

Why do you want to crack the habit? Seems normal to me and a perfectly reasonable way for a baby to go to sleep. I still rock, sing and cuddle DS to sleep and he's a walking talking toddler. So long as it's not a terrible burden to you and she gets a lot of comfort from it, what's the problem?

Give the baby what he/she wants. They all learn it in the end. You are building a bond of trust between you. When she is older, she will be better able to cope with being left, right now she just wants you. It's natural.

I tried to take the view in the early months that feeding, rocking, soothing the baby was my job and that's why I was on maternity leave, to do a different job for a while. So the bits that feel really tough, try to think of them as all in the course of a tough job.

Don't be too hard on yourself, I used to analyse the whole feeding to sleep thing way too much and worry about it and now (I'm still doing it!) I realise it's just a lovely thing and we're all fine and happy and healthy and nobody's suffering. In fact, it makes life a whole lot easier.

I think it depends on what you are like as a family too. If you want to go for romantic evenings out for dinner and you have a child who needs you to settle, what happens when the child wakes up for the babysitter?
If it takes until toddlerhood to settle them through the night, how do you feel when dc2 comes along and children alternate getting up through the night when you have to work the next day? I don't function with no sleep so it would be unthinkable for me to have to be up all night.
I have several neighbours who always comment on how lucky I am to have children who sleep all night and who were the parents who rocked, cuddled, co-slept with their dc. Of the friends with good sleepers all of them did cc at an early age and all have had no problems at all since, unless of course the dc have been ill. My neighbours children are up until 10/11pm at night at 3, sleep for hours during the day . The children who don't have a good bedtime routine/ settle in the night always seem to be really badly behaved - probably because they are shattered and parents who are tired probably end up having less energy/ enthusiasm during the day to do things with them.

smellofsick-I do think they can train themselves to stay awake (not consciously) if they know the attention they are getting is good