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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think kids birthdays parts are 10% enjoyable and 90% stress

26 replies

porcamiseria · 06/10/2011 09:34

I hate going to kids parties, there is usually nothing for the adults to eat or drink (wrong wrong wrong), you have to spend money on a gift that most likely wont be appreciated as kids have too many toys, a WASTE of money and the planets resources, and they eat into precious weekend time

plus they are either in a soft play (skanky) or in a hall with some WANKER scaring the kids with their loud entertainment

and as for the host, DAYS of stress. food? dairy and fucking gluten? sugar? birthday cake? RSVPs? STRESS

and really, the kids enjoy it but fair few are tearful and overwhelmed

and you have to sit and chat with parents that you dont know, ergo strained chat

so why do people bother? I cant remember the last time I hear of someone that actually enjoyed a kids party.......

OP posts:

slavetofilofax · 06/10/2011 09:51

Of course yanbu.

Have you only just realised this??

I do actually enjoy my children's parties, but there is always some stress involved. People bother because their children love it. It's not juts the two hours of the party that they benefit from, it's the whole thing of getting them involved in choosing, sending invites and thankyous, being a good host, plus the excitement of looking forward to it.

Actually, maybe I have just talked myself into giving a YABU.

redskyatnight · 06/10/2011 09:52

It's not different to organising any other type of event surely? And it gives your DC 100% enjoyment which is the main thing.

squeakytoy · 06/10/2011 09:54

I think kids parties were a lot easier back in the 70's.

Your child invited a handful of friends... usually a max of 10.

Party was in your own house.

Food was simple and easy.. sausages on sticks, sandwiches, crisps and pop.. (oddly enough, nobody seemed to have allergies then either)

Parents dropped off child, left, then returned at agreed time to collect.

No elaborate gift bags for each child.. just a slice of birthday cake and whatever they had won from pass the parcel or pinning a tail on a donkey...

I suggest everyone goes "retro".

chandellina · 06/10/2011 09:56

i've only done two so I'm a relative novice but all i can say is feed everyone and keep it simple. i don't think they need to be a nightmare - they should be fun and relaxed gatherings for all involved.
my son has a summer birthday so we've had barbecues and no entertainment and it's been fine.

Original poster

porcamiseria · 06/10/2011 09:57

slave, yes my kids are young!!!!! is this a NO shit sherlock post, clearly

squeaky, I really want to see a return to 70s parenting (bar the smoking in the car and the hot fake leather car seats)

OP posts:

GumballCharm · 06/10/2011 09:59

God I ALWAYS have food for adults. I HATE going to someone's house...and the invitation is extended to you...and there's eff all to eat.

Hardgoing · 06/10/2011 10:01

I totally agree.

I vowed, after last year's home party with 13 ungrateful 7 year olds running around, never again in my house.

Too much cleaning, buying food that doesn't get eaten, children not wanting to join in games/not eating, spending hours shopping for and preparing party bags, and hours of clearing up afterwards.

And it cost a fortune, as I over-buy food and always do get food for the adults.

This year: all-in party at local playcentre which is neither scummy or too screamy, party bags and cake included, go turn up, drink coffee and tea with other parents, chat for a couple of hours, blow out candles on cake, go to nice clean home. I've used this before and it's very relaxing, even enjoyable.

And, as soon as they are old enough, off parties and onto 'outings' with selected friends.

squeakytoy · 06/10/2011 10:01

We were posh, we had real leather seats in our tank Austin 1800...

But my dad did used to take me and the other neighbours kids (about 6 of us) to the park most summer evenings, and we all sat in the back of his little bedford van, on an assortment of car tyres and old car seats...

slavetofilofax · 06/10/2011 10:05

My dc are both summer born, and I have found that providing Pimms for the adults helps the party run along smoothly.

Bramshott · 06/10/2011 10:06

At the risk of pointing out the obvious, surely the point of kids parties is that they are enjoyable FOR THE KIDS?

squeakytoy · 06/10/2011 10:07

My birthday is in Feb, and always fell on the half term break. It was almost always crappy weather, and usually snowing. I spent many birthdays in a panic that nobody would come to my party...

curlyredhair · 06/10/2011 10:07

You're going to some crap parties. Come to mine, I do drinks and food for the adults, no scary entertainers, just hired equipment in the garden and kids left to play together. Must be good, 'cos no-one ever seems to leave!

FlyingPirates · 06/10/2011 10:08

I actually dont find them too bad. We have an agreement that 4 friends come around for tea. Iceland party packs of sausage rolls and the like (3 for£5), crisps, sodas. Then as there arent many of them, they either just run around or congregate around the xbox (I have boys). Cake. No party bags as it is a birthday tea. Then when they are older, two o friends and we go to the movies.

Attending them isnt a big deal as I drop and run. Plus it helps that us Mums are all really good friends anyway so if they stay or I stay it is coffee and biscuits and chocolate and gossip.

So so so glad our year groups havent gone down the competitive party route.

curlyredhair · 06/10/2011 10:09

Oh and definately have some Pimms for the grown ups.

Original poster

porcamiseria · 06/10/2011 10:10

my borthers kids are the worst, and I feel awful saying this as his wife spends MONTHS arranging them

their friends are stuck up unfriendly cxxts
my kids get a but shy
and I just hover by the "crisisp for the adults" hoovering full fat coke

DP hates them and actually wept for joy when they did a school friend only one this year

OP posts:

BonnyBanks · 06/10/2011 10:24

OP! Talk about sucking the joy out of the day! Go have a dairy, sugar and gluten free biscuit to make yourself feel better, poor love.

Kids parties are (strangely enough) about the kids enjoyment not the whiney adults

We hire the local hall, put up a few balloows, lay a table with some totally unsuitable sugar filled food which all the children love I run some very silly party games with lots of enthusiasm, we eat (adults too!), sing some enthusiastically silly songs, hand out party bags and send everyone home. Job done!

I find that kids eat the food if you don't insist on making them eat heathy stuff (really, it's a party why force feed them celery?) and if the adult running the games is brightly enthusiastic all the kids will join in. plus they all want a sweetie from my large tub of hasbro

Yes, it can be a tiny bit stressful but it is the highlight of my children's year so I am happy to do it for them.

No children ever cry at my parties did I mention the large tub of sweeties but maybe we just know hardier kids than you...

Also why the strained chit chat. If you don't want to chat just watch the games with a smile on your face, no requirement to talk if you are shy. Alternately offer the host Mum some help with food etc and that'll give you something to do.

Arachnophobic · 06/10/2011 10:26

I feel your pain. I have two this weekend, one on each day. Feel pissed off already. God help me!

BonnyBanks · 06/10/2011 10:30

Why are you not helping your SIL? Think yourself lucky at my parties relatives earn their coffee and cakes!!!

Original poster

porcamiseria · 06/10/2011 10:31

she wont let me!!!!! control freak, love her but she spends months intricately planning them. and we always stay after to clear up

OP posts:

aldiwhore · 06/10/2011 10:34

If its not your thing I imagine it must be torture, but I LOVE organising my kids's party (4 years and 4 days apart, if they want a bigger party, they share) and I'm the 'entertainer'... don't really do much other than play dancing games/pass the frigging parcel but it saves £££'s. Sleeping lions was the best game we played, I don't know the rules so just made them lie on the floor for 10 minutes for a bit of peace.

I love everything about it. I don't do 'prizes' for games, and am so fair there's no competition at all, so not many tears. I always supply some food for adults, and tea/coffee/wine (no one ever drinks that tbh, but I do when the whole thing's over).

I'm not a domestic goddess, and am utterly lazy with housework (citing to all and sundry that my priority is childcare not housework - it doesn't always wash) but I adore the stress of parties.

I HATE children's 'entertainers' (apart from one who was fab - cowboy bob/jo or something, but he's long deceased) and its 2 hours of mayhem, which you can fill easy enough in short segments of 'things to do'.

You'd hate our parties OP they're loud, manic, and positively not calm. I also get poor unsuspecting parents tohelp out... mwahaha.

aldiwhore · 06/10/2011 10:36

Some of DSs' friends are very shy, but with gentle treatment and no pressure they usually have fun, I amuse them, but not in a good way, they think I'm crackers.... and that's not me saying 'I'm mad meee' because I hate that, but children do tend to give me the raised eyebrow look a lot.

BonnyBanks · 06/10/2011 11:18

Aldiwhore I think you and I have the same kind of parties! My xhildren aren't old enough to be embarrassed by me but several of my friends do raise eyebrows at my antics!

OP, she won't let you help! Silly woman. Oh well, just keep eating those crisps then!

Ciske · 06/10/2011 11:26

Don't say that, we're organising one in our house this weekend! :(

But it'll be at our house, not at a soft play area, there will be plenty of food and drinks for the adults, and I've chickened out on the cake baking, it'll be a Thomas the Tank Engine one from Tesco. Kids can entertain themselves with DD's toys and, hopefully, the play area next door.

The only source of stress is how to fit everyone in the house. Please help me pray for good weather.

Original poster

porcamiseria · 06/10/2011 11:28

there will be plenty of food and drinks for the adults,

well thats fine then! chilled sancerre and blinis right???!!!!

OP posts:

Ciske · 06/10/2011 11:33

No idea what that is, porcamiseria, but no, DP has found some great Mexican recipes online which are to be cooked in advance on Saturday morning. And it's home made pizza's for the little ones.

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